Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Quick clips for Wednesday October 8

Unfortunately, the second film will be called Hobb2t or some such crap

This is the type of non-news news that just bears repeating because when geek's stock in Star Wars was sold off faster than, um, stocks it was immediately transferred to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Seriously, males aged 18-25 right now will more accurately remember Legolas flipping up on an elephant than the freckles on the chest of their first sexual encounter. So the upcoming Hobbit movie...or movies...is anticipated with the rabid frothing typically reserved for the rabid and violence-hungry Sarah Palin crowds. The latest quasi-news comes from MTV.com who listened intently when Guillermo Del Toro explained that the two parts (two films) are a single narrative...basically, just like the current trilogy. The events of the novel proper will probably fill up the first flick, whereas the second will lead more directly into the first film in the existing trilogy. All that is great, except it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. If, as Del Toro intimated, the major events take place in that first flick...what the hell happens in the second that's interesting. Don't get me wrong, I love that fantasy franchise just as hard as my nerd powers allow, but if you're suggesting I'm going to get a 180 minute version of the final 30 minutes of Return of the King, I'd rather watch 4 consecutive hours of prescription drug commercials (at least there's some suspense in those...what will happen if his member is enlarged...will his wife leave him because of his relentless sexual advances?) Still, if any series and any director has earned my trust, it's this franchise and this chubby genius.

Lethal Weapon 5 is closer to reality than economic stability

So this guy I've never heard of before named Columbus Short, who is starring in Quarantine (so we may never hear from him again), told IGN that Lethal Weapon 5 had been fast-tracked and that he was offered the part of Danny Glover's offspring (in the movie, not in real life, that would be a weird offer). Now, it's not like dudes named Columbus are particularly trustworthy, but this seems like a weird thing to make up in an interview. Sadly, this being true doesn't mean anything one way or another, since the real question is will Mel G take some time off from filming his Mesopotamian ninja movie or whatever the plunk he's out there doing now to make a big-ass paycheck and reintroduce himself to the people who loved him (mostly women approaching the "elderly" designation and dudes who derive satisfaction out of NASCAR). If I had to put money on it, I'd say this is going to happen. Look at it like this, when the intelligence community hears a lot of "chatter" (which is a hilarious term by the way, because it makes me think of a group of terrorists gossiping "You'll never believe what Ahmed said about Muhammed today"), they believe an attack is eminent. Same here. When you hear various actors and key players rambling about something, odds are it's a'comin'. Need an example? Does The Boof and Indiana Jones ring any bells?

Sight unseen, I'm championing the Swedish pre-teen vampire movie

Because Devin from Chud.com has an almost psychotic devotion to the film Let the Right One In, which he has described using such fluffy, hyperbole-laden adjectives I'm no longer sure if he saw it or reproduced with it, I've decided to make every effort to see it. The following list of places it is playing does not help:

November 7
San Diego, CA: Hillcrest Cinemas
Washington, DC: E Street Cinema

November 14
San Francisco, CA: Embarcadero Center Cinema
Chicago, IL: Landmark's Century Centre Cinema
Cambridge, MA: Kendall Square Cinema
Baltimore, MD: Charles Theatre
Minneapolis, MN: Lagoon Cinema
Philadelphia, PA: Ritz at the Bourse
Nashville, TN: Belcourt Theatre
Seattle, WA: Varsity Theatre

November 21
Denver, CO: Mayan Theatre
Providence, RI: Avon Cinema

November 28
Santa Fe, NM: The Screen

December 12
Hartford, CT: Real Art Ways Cinema

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Ryan, you're on television, radio, Internet, and print media...won't one of them pay to send you to Chicago or Denver to see what could be the single greatest Swedish vampire film of all time?" You'd think, right? Sadly, no. No, they will not. So this leaves two options: Try to hitchhike to Hartford (but I don't have the gams for that) or try to bring the little bloodsucking Swedes to me (which seems to be way easier). You can help me with the latter by expressing to Film Streams your desire to share in said Swedish vampire movie. I'm penning a letter as we speak, but your support can only help. I will not rest until my eyes have viewed this film (well, I mean, I'll sleep at night and stuff and probably relax over the weekend, but I'll think about it a few times every so often, honest). Let the first quest of Cutting Room begin!!!
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