Monday, January 5, 2009

Quick clips for Monday January 5

There was a time when Keira Knightley in a corset made my day

Hey gang! Welcome back to the regular blog-o-licious world of Cutting Room, which will be updated regularly now that I'm back to working at the salt mines regularly (apologies to those actually working at salt mines, my job is easy). What better way to open 2009 proper than with another period drama starring Keira Knightley (and before you ask, no this is not a movie about a young girl dealing with menses, surprisingly those are not called period dramas). John Curran will direct Knightley's bodice in The Beautiful and the Damned, about F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Sayre, his schizophrenic wife. Wait, this is 1920s era, which means no corsetted boobies or anything. I mean, it still sounds boring as crap, so it makes sense why Knightley's in it (she looooove the boring) and why Curran is directing (I just read the title The Painted Veil and I start feeling like I'm dying of cholera insanely slowly). Variety is reporting that this is going to be released in September, but by then Knightley may not technically be famous anymore, having confused being taken as a serious actress with starring in wretched and boring films. Seriously, I don't even know anyone who saw The Duchess. She was so promising as an actress too, but then she got bonked on the head by a boxed set of "Masterpiece Theatre." Here's hoping that at some point in 2009, Knightley turns it around...or at least turns around HEY YO!

Unlike governors from Illinois, Thor has a human side

The script currently floating around the ether for Kenneth Branagh's Thor adaptation has the Fabio look-a-like spending his entire time in the mythical land of Asgard, playing with other Norse godlings. This left a pretty big question as to how Thor was going to join the Avengers in time for their release date in 2011 (which is actually coming up fast, so some casting will be expected shortly). Well, may have broken the code with the news that the character of Donald Blake has been added to the end of the script. For those who aren't nerds enough to know instantly what that means....oh, who am I kidding, if you're reading this you probably know exactly what that means but I'll tell you anyway: Blake is a doctor who finds Thor's hammer, Mjolnir (yes, his hammer has a name, just like my car and my favorite underpants). He then becomes transformed into Thor or at least Thor comes into the earthly realm through him...actually, I have no idea how this works, but what's important is that Donald Blake will be the human face that allows the muscular hammer tosser to enter the "real world." This does not mean he joins the cast of "The Real World," which would be awesome.

Box office results: 2009 will be mine!

Hey, you know what rules? Starting off 2009 like I have some approximate clue of what I'm doing. Huzzah for me! Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect (I figured the general adoration of Brad Pitt in old guy makeup would outweigh an even more dumbed down than usual Adam Sandler), but I am making huge strides! Go me! Of course, it helps that they didn't release any new movies last week, so this trend won't continue. Still, I'm full of the same optimism as all the calorie counters and reformed smokers during the month of January! Here's to the inevitable let-down!

Here are the results:

1.) Marley and Me - $24 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92%)

I'm not any happier about the dog movie's domination than anyone, but at least there isn't going to be a sequel. Oh, and I'm going to be the first to float this idea out there given the resurgence of puppy loving on screen: Beethoven remake. There, I said it. But if Grodin isn't involved, God help us all.

2.) Bedtime Stories - $20 million (Accuracy of prediction - 85%)

I can't believe this isn't doing better. I mean, it's not doing bad, but I figured it would be a huge breakout hit and now it's never going to even get a number one position. Weird. I mean, not as weird as say the fact that NBC gave Howie Mandell a second TV show, but weird.

3.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - $18 million (Accuracy of prediction - 82%)

This film is really doing quite well for itself. My wife is going to see it later this week, which will let me know if I'm the one who is crazy or if its the rest of the world. Because she seems to be the target audience for this flick (she loves the "magical" and the Pitt).

4.) Valkyrie - $14 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

Another success story. Say what you will, but if this thing limps to $100 million, it's a full-fledged triumph. Good news for all involved, except for Nazis.

5.) Yes Man - $13.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 87%)

This actually challenged for the fourth spot and now looks to be northbound of the century club as well. Perhaps the reports of Jim Carrey's demise were greatly exaggerated.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 87%

Howsabout a B+ to start '09! I'll take it!
Custom Search


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home