"What I Can't Do" - Lost Predictions

What do you think of the title for this weekly column of predictions? Given how incredibly, incredibly wrong I usually am at them, it seemed appropriate. Hit me up if you have a better idea. Now, on to the good stuff.

We made it.

Friends, family, loved ones...we made it through the hardest gap to cross since the pioneers encountered "Ugonadie Canyon." I literally cannot remember the last time that a piece of pop culture (movie, TV, comics, or otherwise) excited me as much as what is about to unfold this evening...and this is ME we're talking about here, I get excited FOR EVERYTHING. As is the ritual on "Lost" mornings (and as should be your ritual, too), I started with a little Doc Jensen, who gave some enticing teases for tonight's show in his video (which you should watch, even spoiler-phobes because it gives nothing away) and featured a certain black-clad guest. Go here now if you haven't already and then come on back.

Hiya. Funny shit, huh? I forgot how much I love Elizabeth Mitchell...even after enduring a few hours of "V" (ugggggh). This got me thinking of today's overarching theme for this column:

What does "Lost" have to do to satisfy you?

We have to think about that question, fellow Losties. We have to think about it hard. The challenge for the creators is that almost everyone is going to have a different answer to this. My cousin, James, who is a marathon-running, ass-kicking filmmaker in his own right, has been peppering me with awesome theories and questions (which he has agreed to allow me to repost in the comment sections when appropriate). That got me thinking about the reality of concluding more than 100 hours plus of mysteries in one season. It also got me thinking about how my dear friend, Andrew, sodomized my feelings for the "Battlestar Galactica" finale. I had okay memories that he bad touched into a personal tragedy. Thus, it's important for me (and for you), that we come up with a relatively reasonable list of things that the show must answer or do for us to be satisfied. Let's set the limit at 3. I'll go first:

1.) Tie the main arcs into one neat bow, preferably with Jacob and the Man in Black - I don't care if Libby isn't accounted for, if Walt isn't explained (though it did slightly irk me), if we don't find out who built the off-island station, if we never hear about Alvar Hanso again, and if we don't find out every nuance of the Widmore/Ben battle. I need the show to feel like it was conceived at one time. That the show has a real beginning and real end, and I'd prefer if that had something to do with Jacob. He's been mentioned for so long that it seems reasonable to assume his role isn't just vital, it's THE role. As Doc Jensen explained, and I agree, I think it all comes down to this scene from season one for me.



The references to ruins, the name-drop of Jesus, the "one light and one dark," all of that HAS to be part of what they thought was the end game. I don't care if they leave side-stories or minor points unattended, I want the focus on the big stuff.

2.) Give THESE characters resolution - When Andrew rearranged my semi-happy thoughts into dark ones about BSG, it was based around this point. I love Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, mothertruckin' Sayid (before he was made into a cast-aside whiner), Juliet, Charlie, and Desmond. I need to know what happens to them in a genuine way. No quick dismissals. If they die, have it mean something. No open-ended "I wonder what Jack and Kate do from here." They owe me a resolution to THESE characters, not to every minor one.

3.) At least one "awe damn" surprise answers - We've all been given so much time to speculate and hunger for this return, we've come up with answers that are likely MORE complicated than the ones we'll be getting. Still, I don't care if it's pulling a twist like not having Jack be one of the "Adam and Eve" skeletons, not having Smokey the monster be the Man in Black, or some other turn on a popular theory. I want to be surprised for real one more time really good.

When I get into discussions about "Lost," it's always about particular questions ("what's the loophole," "what was up with Walt's powers"), but when I truly think about what I want at the end of my favorite show of all time, it's those things above. I want a quality good-bye so I can remember this show as fondly as I've spent my time with it.

When "Lost" first started, Abbie was at Kansas State. We had been dating only a short while but I already loved her dearly, she had gone through some tough times with family illnesses and death, I was living with my parents, and I saw her so infrequently. Plus, since she was in Grad School, she was often busy. Most of my friends had moved away or were involved in starting their new lives, and I was pretty alone. As is often the thing we do, I filled it with some novels, some movies, writing...and along came "Lost." She and I would watch it together, albeit with her in Kansas and me in Omaha, and we'd call each other on commercial. It was the one thing that wasn't stressful to talk about; it was something we could share despite being far away from one another. "Lost" has helped me strengthen some friendships that had been dormant for awhile, it's an instant topic of conversation, and it's genuinely comforting to me. I'm going to miss it. As much as that's the case...I'm ready to read the last chapter of this book, to finish the final reel of this movie, to say goodbye to some on-air friends.

With that tenderness behind me...I now present to you my sure-fire, guaranteed to be totally inaccurate top-5 predictions for tonight's episode!

Predictions for LA X.

1.) Jack remembers - It's silly not to imagine that the bomb worked, right? We faded to white, we know old cast members are back, etc. I am going to go on a limb and say that although Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, and Sun are primed for remembering their other life because of Jacob's touching of them in the past, Jack will be tasked with reminding them. In a throwback to the role he's always played, he's going to have to "wake them up."

2.) We won't see Jacob...but we will see the Man in Black...and we'll get his name - I think that the real intrigue has switched from Jake to his buddy, Mr. Nameless. This may be a litmus test for the whole season: There's no need to hold on to little mysteries too long anymore. With so few episodes left, you can just give them away. I think we'll see MiB and find out that his name isn't quite what we thought it may have been...I'm going to guess it's Cain.

3.) Claire will (sigh) play a big role - The repregnant Claire will play a huge factor I think...despite my best wishes. The only way you keep an actress on ice for a whole season is if you promise her a hell of a payoff. I think the first episode will tell us whether or not there were definitively she will raise that baby. And I think the answer is no.

4.) The X in LA X does stand for 10 - I think this is the 10th time they've done this dance, with Jack and company failing every previous time to do "the right thing." I think that Jacob's touch in the past was something that helped most of them clear out that last imperfection they had in order to be perfect "soldiers" or "pawns" in Jacob's endgame and that this time, this time "They're coming." They somehow failed each of the last 9 times to "get right" whatever they needed to, but on the 10th time...things are different.

5.) No smokey...but Sayid kills somebody - My favorite prediction. I make it almost every week. Actually, I don't know how much I believe that Sayid does whack someone. That said, somebody minor may die for real...and this time, dead IS dead.

Okay, that's my really, really, really long "Lost" rant. Tomorrow will be all wrap-up and reflection (on just the episode, not the show in general). Post your comments and theories below (especially the things "Lost" must do to please you) in the comment section below.

I'm going to go lay down again so I can attempt to feel the best I can for this premiere tonight. So glad to know you'll be watching it with me.