Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 23)

I haven't had a day off in what seems like an entire lunar cycle. Earlier this week, this fact manifested itself in me becoming a full-on pissy-pants. I was a grumpus of the 12th degree. Today, however, I'm all (tired) smiles and happy (delirious) thoughts. I don't know why I'm starting the "send me free crap" column this way today, but whatever, it's my blog and I'll treat it like a nonsensical diary whenever I want to. I once more remind the world that if they contact the groggy, incredibly loopy person writing this here blurb at film@thereader.com, he (meaning I) would be more than happy to provide you explicit instructions and directions as to how to deliver the incredible assortment of fun shit I'm about to request. Quick, before I start dropping emo thoughts like shitty but amusing status updates on facebook or twitter ("Whatever, world. I WILL survive, even if NO ONE out there understands or loves me."), let's move to the things I want this week.

1.) Because R2 cares if my nasal cavity is dry - Warning, this is going to be even heavier into thinkgeek this week than ever, mostly because they are the flippin' ballz. How do you see this and not want it?


That's a USB-powered R2D2 humidifier for your desk. Every time I bitch about how science hasn't given us the cure for cancer or whatever, I want you to remind me that someone out there invented a small version of R2 that you can pour water in and hook up your computer to avoid having a dry throat. That ought to satisfy me. I kid you not, this could be one of my favorite things ever. If I were Oprah, I would give this away to throngs of screaming people. Because I'm not, I want someone to give it to me.

2.) See, I'm helping to decorate the house! - I'm not the person you want doing interior design work. I have no sense of style, I just like movies. In addition to movie posters, which I'm told look good when hung on walls, I think it would be kind of cool to hang some of these on the wall.

They're surprisingly cheap, and I think if you were to decorate say a basement with a mind towards making it feel like a cool place to watch movies, you could do worse than slap up a couple of these amidst your cool-ass posters (which are far easier to find). Again, I don't want anyone thinking I know what I'm doing on such matters, but I've always found something inherently cool about these reels. Then again, I also want to eat Perky Jerky.

3.) Fight the power...of non-video gamers - I like so much about this shirt.


From the Russian colors, to the fact that I have at some point played with almost all of these things, this is an inspired shirt that seems to send a message with its militaristic style...but it doesn't really have one. That's great.