Monday, May 10, 2010

Weekend Box Office Results: Who's this Iron Man guy?

People genuinely sounded disappointed that Iron Man 2 didn't beat the Dark Knight's opening weekend. Why? Like I said, Iron Man isn't as popular. Oh, and RECORDS SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING. I like that records stand for at least a little while before we smoosh them. I only cared that Avatar beat Titanic because the previous record at least stood for over a decade. We keep replacing the "all-time opening weekend" so frequently because of increased screens and inflation. It's not like Iron Man 2 flopped. It got a "cinescore" of an A (for those who don't know, that means that audiences who were polled on their reaction scored it really well, which means there's a great chance for a nice long run for the movie) and it has already pulled in $327 million worldwide, which isn't exactly chump change. But if it isn't a record, it doesn't matter to us. So let's pretend that it broke the record for highest grossing weekend in history for a film that features almost as much man boobage as girl boobage. Yay!

Here's the weekend results, haiku style:

1.) Iron Man 2 - $133 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93%)

The REAL "man of steel"
proves that he's still worth watching.
Bring on Avengers.

2.) Nightmare on Elm Street - $9 million (Accuracy of prediction - 91.5%)

He may have some claws,
but he is losing his grip
on those Benjamins.

3.) How to Train Your Dragon - $7 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93%)

This movie won't leave.
But I want it to go now.
Feel free to fly now.

4.) Date Night - $5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

I love Tina Fey.
I know the world does as well,
but I loved her first.

5.) The Back Up Plan - $4 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93.75%)

Soon...we will forget.
Then it can finally be
as if this wasn't.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 92.25%

Summer movies rule.
My predictions get easy.
I mean...I'm so smart!!

Okay, that's it on this rainy, stupid Monday. You get out there and do yo thang. Tomorrow is "Lost" day. I can't wait!

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