Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 34)

As you know, last week was my birthday...oh, you didn't know that? Well that explains the conspicuous absence of a present with your name on the "from" tag. No worries, you can just select from some of the below merchandise or get some company to furnish it for free thanks to the massive advertising I just give away (psst, it's not that massive). As always, my address can be acquired by sending an email to film@thereader.com or using the internet. Before we begin, a quick update, as I did in fact get a few items for my birthday! Most notably I got me a "Guns don't kill boys, Sayid does" hoodie and a coffee mug that says "Good Morning, Sinners," a quote I use often from Warren Ellis. Yep, I got me some good gifts last week, but that doesn't mean you're off the damn hook. Just like Ashton Kutcher, I want more!

Here's the top 3 things I want this week:

1.) The Wampa really tied the room together - We just finished our hardwood floors, and I think nothing would really make the room look finished quite like this from ThinkGeek.com.
From what I understand, the model in the slave Leia costume is NOT included, which sucks. Still, what says to your houseguests "welcome to my comfortable establishment where no expense is spared" AND "Dude, it's a Wampa from Empire Strikes Back" like a plus Wampa rug from Empire Strikes Back? Side note, my cousin visited this week and was telling me about how his young son (now 5) has just discovered Star Wars. He and his little brother will be dressing as characters from the franchise for Halloween. The elder brother is Darth Vader...and the younger is THE EMPEROR!!! How cool is that?! No little kid is ever the Emperor. That rules. Oh, and the family also used the film series to explain the concept of death, so extra points there.

2.) I just decided to make this a theme because of this backpack - I was going to vary my content today, but forget that! This is now a Star Wars theme day for no reason, partially thanks to this (also from ThinkGeek).

Yeah, that's a C3PO in pieces backpack. Where was this stuff when I was a kid? Who cares, I'm going to wear it NOW. There's no need to be classy when you can look this awesome! I also like that the image features a dude in a Chewbacca costume modeling it so you can get the full effect. What's that? Oh, I'm being told that is just a shirtless Kevin James from behind.

3.) This isn't an asteroid! - Continuing the Empire love, here's the best oven mitt in the world. Available exclusively on StarWars.com, you can own this:

Suddenly, it's not a burden to have to retrieve the meatloaf! If the people who create the merchandise for Star Wars were able to write the most recent movies, we'd have loved them.

So there's your randomly Lucasian Things You Should Buy Me column. I'm sure that Lucasfilm will get right on sending me free merch, as often as I sing their praises.

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