Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 35)

Another Wednesday, another chance for me to desperately plead with the faceless masses to send me free swag. As always, you should convince reputable companies to send me things (get my address by emailing film@thereader.com). Then, I will speak highly of those products from those companies, and those companies will get filthy rich, just like me...wait... Okay, there may still be a flaw in this plan, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't at least try to beg for merch and at the same time show you the coolest of the cool stuff to be owned out there!

Here's the three things I want most this week:

1.) Nothing's better than a drunk nerd - I should know, I'm drunk right now. Once more, Nerdapproved.com pointed me to the incredible merchandise in the form of the nerdiest shotglasses a human has ever before imbibed from.
How do you not want to get totally shitfaced out of a glass with Boba Fett on it? You will be the hit of the party when you whip out these bad boys to drink from (Warning: You will only be the "hit of the party" at parties populated by dorks. Thus, "parties" may not be appropriate as a term here. Let's say the hit of the "small gathering" or "D&D game." If you try to use these at an actual party, you will be hit at the party.) No lie, they're beautifully done and I want to have them all.

2.) Ladies, time to get yours - It's rare that I target the females out there, but that's not because I'm sexist. It's because you're way cooler than I am, so I usually don't have a clue what you would want to own. I do know that every man wants you to wear these:
Headbands are lame. These headbands are AWESOME, right? I mean, look how that one on the left says "BAM!" Who wouldn't see a girl wearing that and think: "Hey, who's that?" I know I'm not usually one to dole out fashion advice, but when you see a can't miss item like this, how can I possibly avoid it? When you land the significant other of your dreams, you can send me a nice email about how you owe it all to your "POW" headband. I'll print that email out and tack it to my wall. Promise.

3.) I bring you only the finest interspecies comedy - Threadless.com makes a lot of shirts with cute animals on them. Few of them imply breeding that should not physically be possible. I find this short adorable and hilarious. Yes, I find it adorious. Try to fight against the power it has to make you smile.
Can't do it, can you? You want to own the shirt (called "Birthday" by the way), don't you? Also, if they did crossbreed a chicken and a cow, I'd hope they'd call it a cowicken (which sounds like a partnership between two witches).

That's it for me, now get to buyin'!

Follow me on Twitter!