Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 36)

A friend of mine told me that somebody else in the blog world had posted a list of things they wish people would buy for them. Then he told me that it was twisted and dirty and began to describe a project that would make my list of "Things You Should Buy Freaks (Volume GO AWAY)." I keep this a purely PG-13 space, with an occasional whimsical S-bomb or jovial randiness, so if you want to send me something vile, shuffle on creepo. If you want, however, to examine the nerdy coolness below and contact me at to hook me up with free swag of some kind that needs promoting, then by God you're a beautiful human. Again, this is mostly just a place to show off cool things you'd find interesting if you read this blog (which you do, obvs), but I will never stop begging because it worked a few times. I'm the reason why you don't feed your dog table scraps even once.

Here are the 3 things I'm barking about this week:

1.) Learning the alphabet is hard - I still think that there should be another letter. Just something to split up that R-S-T clique. Those assholes are CONSTANTLY tormenting O-P-Q and trying to sleep with U-V-W. The good news is, I'm the only one who feels this way, as others have much more reverence for our A to Z-ness. See:
This is (of course) via Threadless and contains an adorably crudely drawn image of a nerd character of some kind whose name begins with the letter it represents. It's simple, yes, but it's also nerd-i-cational, which is something most of my pimped-out products don't aspire towards. Just think: If you bought THIS for me (or sent it to me free...come on Threadless), I would be able to share knowledge with others, and isn't that what this is really all about?

2.) You know what time it is? No really...I don't know - My office doesn't have a clock in it. I mean, sure, I could look ALL THE WAY in the corner of my computer screen to find the tiny-ass little digits that tell me what time it is. Or I could look at this:

These are Marvel glass clocks. Why glass, I don't know. How I'll know what time it is without markers to tell me also escapes me. What doesn't escape me is my weird attraction to the Thor clock.

I don't know why I'm so into the Norse God these days. I ditched his comic recently, but his golden mane and upcoming movie haunt my dreams (maybe it's because Natalie Portman is in the movie...and my dreams). Either way, NerdApproved continues to create the single greatest blog to ever serve as my shopping list. Nicely done again, chaps.

3.) Better question: Why DON'T you want nesting Ninja dolls? - I'm not saying I would use the following item a lot. But it would find a place on my desk in either variety of awesome:

The only thing better than a ninja is a ninja with more ninjas in it. The opposite is really true of robots, as they will one day enslave us all. That's why it's important to have an equal ninja-to-robot ratio. Their blades are the only thing that can save us against the impending robopocalypse. Also, I'm pretty sure some studio exec just copyrighted Ninjas versus Robots.

That's all for this week's want list. I think it was pretty reasonable, wouldn't you say?

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