Friday, August 13, 2010

I want to be Ben Affleck

I love Ben Affleck.

There, I said it. Sometimes I joke, sometimes it's hurtful, but here's the truth of the truth of the truth: I think he's cool and he is living the life I would most want to live. Yeah, eff becoming some Nobel prizer winner, I want to be Affleck. What do I mean? Well, he can eat whatever he wants and still look A-MAZING!

He is married to a certain former superspy who just happens to be cut from my dreamiest of dreams.

And now he's going to star in a movie by legendary director Terrence Malick with these two ladies:

The movie has no title yet (I propose The Hotness of Hotness) but is a love story featuring Affleck (who is replacing Christian Bale, presumably because Malick didn't feel it was believable that any of those women would fall for someone who constantly growled at them and looked like he was about to remove their face and wear their face on his face), Javier Bardem, Olga Kurylenko, and the two beauties above. Oh, and Affleck's releasing The Town soon, his directorial follow-up to Gone Baby Gone, which was the best movie of the year a few years back. So, if I make with the jokes, ribbing ole Ben for this or that, it's only the bitterest, most awful jealousy rearing up inside of me like a bubbling supernova. If I could become another man, he would be that man. If I could insert myself into a body (not like that), it would be his body. If I could travel through time and befriend someone so as to insert myself into a posse it would be his posse that I would insert myself into. You know what, you get the idea. I was already keen on seeing more Malick (who is getting more productive the older he gets apparently), but now this is off the charts for me. If my excitement were a map of the world, this would be the North Pole. Yippee!

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