Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Enter the Fat One

You have no idea how much this story makes me laugh. RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan is going to direct The Man With the Iron Fist. Now that's odd, but not funny. The Clan is about as obsessed with kung-fu as Russell Crowe is with calorie intake and pouting.
Russell Crowe is going to co-star in The Man with the Iron Fist. Bwahahaha! That's right, in a few short years, Crowe has gone from Oscar-winning A-lister to pudgy-bellied afterthought to CO-STAR IN A KUNG-FU MOVIE WRITTEN BY ELI ROTH AND RZA! Is it easy to take direction from a guy with three letters in his whole name after you've taken it from Ridley Scott? Will Crowe have to do kung-fu, or is he the fat kingpin who rules the underworld? We don't have 100% confirmation on this, but RZA said it, and RZA doesn't lie to me. This not only opens up a world of jokes about what body parts of Crowe's are made out of iron, but also gives me an infinite amount of material about what Crowe's Wu-Tang name would be (Nasty Eatah?), what his kung-fu fighting style is (the chubby squirrel?), and how desperate his career is looking (Heidi Montag-esque?).

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