Quick Clips for Wednesday July 30

Third act-ccidents

I got a chance to check out Pineapple Express last night, and the good news is that it's pretty dadgum entertaining. The bad news is, much like an NPR fan's drunken evening at a Rush Limbaugh convention, it doesn't end well. Don't get me wrong, Seth Rogen issues a pretty strong declaration that he's the funniest movie actor of the moment (sorry Mr. Costner, Rogen is the intentionally funniest movie actor of the moment, my bad), and James Franco proves he's more than just the result of Green Goblin's seed.

I just wish that the now-mighty Judd Apatow comedy machine would introduce a little more quality assurance to its suddenly hyperactive assembly line. That is to say, someone needs to point out the defects, even if it isn't the popular thing to do. Having to work with word counts and space issues means that I often end up leaving things I find to be terribly amusing or important in the recycle bin (often because I'm the only one who finds such things amusing or important). Every single person in the screening I watched kind of hated the 20-minute action sequence at the end of Pineapple Express, and unless Apatow's crew surround themselves with sycophants, chances are this was mentioned to one of the producers. But those producers are Apatow and Rogen, meaning they likely dismissed these concerns because they thought it worked. They were very wrong.

Just like Hancock and I Am Legend and...other films that don't feature Will Smith that I can't think of right now, nothing is more traumatic to a moviegoer's psyche than a film with a terrible payoff, even a film with no real payoff is better...it's the difference between a cold shower and icing down your nether-regions. I know very few people are reading this blog right now, on account of the technologically challenged Reader behavior (what with not having a link on the site yet despite having a week's worth of blogs up), but I'm curious as to what movies others feel "gave ya the business" at the end, spoiling an otherwise fun time. Overall, I'm not dismissing Pineapple Express and will likely watch it again at some point...I'll just likely shield myself toward the end.

This only sounds like I hate Alicia Keys

Seriously, I actually don't mind her compared with most of her untalented semi-human colleagues in a genre I wish would die, die, die. Still, news that her and Jack White will team up to sing the theme song to Bond's latest Quantum of Solace isn't exactly news to my ears...mainly because I read it! Get it! I didn't hear it, I read it so... Anyway, I know that the shine was taken off the theme song singing when A-Ha did The Living Daylights and was permanently stained by Chris Cornell last time out, but still...Jack White and Alicia Keys. What were Elvis Costello and Bone Thugs N' Harmony busy? Why not get U2 to do it or someone, I don't know, RELEVANT like Kanye West or Jay-Z? Still, all is forgiven if the song explains what the hell a quantum of solace is and what drug will clear it up.

Daniel Radcliffe footage now featuring 100% less horse and schlong

We've almost done it people...we're almost through the Harry Potter gauntlet. I think it's cute that the teenaged-targeted Ann Rice lady who is writing those "Twilight" novels thinks she has a Cubs fan's chance of achieving a modicum of JK Rowling's success. Just a reminder to the tween-vampire lady, Rowling can actually buy you, have you stuffed and mounted, and turn you into a classy coffee table/conversation piece. The last Potter flick was the best, a trend that has continued since the dreadful first film all the way to the pretty-frakkin' awesome most recent one. Sure, the pattern of "Oh, no, Voldemort, we can't win....oh, wait, we kind of won but Voldemort will return stronger than ever" is getting old, but with only 3 films left (yes, that's right, 3 films because the last book will be split into two movies) I'm thinking Potter can stumble across the finish line before Hermione is cast as Al Pacino's love interest in something. Here's the latest trailer which, again, looks to be a slight rip-off of better films (cough, Lord of the Rings, cough) but nonetheless entertaining. You're gonna see it, so you may as well start getting excited.