Monday, August 25, 2008

Quick clips for Monday August 25

I know it's Monday, but things could be worse...you could be the producer of The Rocker

I'm consoling myself regarding yet another catastrophic gaffe in my predictions by remembering that I, in fact, do not have millions riding on how these things pan out. Sure, I lose a little respect and a touch of dignity, but I was almost empty on both of those anyway, so it's all kind of easy to dismiss. At any rate, as you sip that cup of Monday joe, remember: you're not the one who greenlight a star vehicle for Dwight from "The Office" (a film that grossed around $2 million this weekend, or what Batman wipes his Bat ass on). Here are the weekend results:

1.) Tropic Thunder - $16 million

Nice to see that I'm not completely incompetent. Seeing this flick atop the box office is a nice treat, seeing as how it deserves to do good money. The drop-off was really quite good (average is around 50%, but this was only off 37% from the opening weekend). That's because word of mouth has been kind...but I like to think it's just the power of this blog.

2.) The House Bunny - $15 million

Okay, so maybe I spoke too soon on that semi-competent assessment. I had this doing about half the money and in 5th position. How could I forget the tantalizing power of Anna Faris's cleavage? All must bow down before her perky bosom. What else could explain people seeing a movie about a Playboy bunny at a sorority house? It sure wasn't a resurgence in feminism.

3.) Death Race - $12 million

I was off on the position, but this is pretty much dollar-wise where I thought a sad rehash of a demo derby would finish. I really didn't think a demo derby could be more depressing, but thanks to Joan Allen for proving me wrong.

4.) The Dark Knight - $10 million

This brings the total to around $490 million. I'm pretty much out of things to say about this film by now. Batman burnout is an ugly thing.

5.) Star Wars: Clone Wars - $5.5 million

Suck it, Lucas. Where's that Free Credit Report.com guy to sing "F to the L to the O to the P. Lucas dropped a turd, baby" 'Bout time.

I think it's about a girl in a bucket, what's your guess?

Between the end of the Olympics and the Democratic National Convention, movie news is slimmer than a producer's suggested weight for his lead actress. This leads to me reporting that Hayao Miyazaki, who got mad props for Spirited Away (winning Best Animated Film at the Oscars), has more reason to celebrate, as his new animated adventure Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea has earned more than 10 billion Yen at the Japanese box office. This sounds impressive, but I believe that the currency exchange rate means this film has earned $7, but I could be wrong. The real fun thing to do is speculate as to what the sam hell the film is about based on the limited information I've heard about it and crazy pictures, like this one:

I think it's fairly obvious that this is a film about an angry, mutated goldfish who is despondent after spending years inside a septic system after getting flushed. Well, it's that or the tale of Sasha, the most cheerful talking technicolor vomit ever! I invite you to make up your own and share them in the comments below. Don't be afraid, it's anonymous so feel free to become whoever you'd like.

Hey, does anybody remember actors could strike, like, any minute?

The situation between the actors and the producers really haven't gotten better so much as they have dragged out long enough where we no longer care. Still, things could get toasty again over the upcoming SAG elections. According to The Hollywood Reporter, elections this week could pave the way for the SAG to merge with AFTRA (which only delights people who love acronyms). Basically, SAG is the NFL and AFTRA is the Canadian Football League, insofar as the former is huge and the latter tries really, really hard. AFTRA has a deal with the producers, SAG does not (because they think they're, like, so much better than that). The majority of the SAG members seem to be in favor of avoiding a strike by taking the deal on the table, despite the top leadership wanting to strike. This could pave the way for some truly interesting changes...or not, it really depends on a whole bunch of crap that I don't know much about (but the guys who wrote the article I linked do totally do, so check it out). Regardless, I'm all about love and peace, so let's hope that SAG wants to get their hippie on.

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