Quick clips for Tuesday August 26

Babylon AD loses 8 of the 24 dollars it was going to make

Sometimes directors and studios don't see eye-to-eye. One wants an artistic vision, the other is more concerned about bankability and box office. Usually, these squabbles are backroom chatter, nothing more than rumors about discontent...then you have Matthieu Kassovitz, director of the upcoming Vin Diesel film Babylon AD, who spoke with the AMCTV blog.

"I'm very unhappy with the film...I never had a chance to do one scene the way it was written or the way I wanted it to be. The script wasn't respected. Bad producers, bad partners, it was a terrible experience."

Ouch. Part of the battle was about the rating and the length...though I'm guessing the subject matter would have been an issue too (the plot involves Diesel as a mercenary transporting a girl across a postapocalyptic Russia to get to China because she has a parasite inside of her that a cult wants to clone to make a new Jesus). Kassovitz claims that Fox axed 15 minutes out that were key to the film, although I'm guessing there isn't a run-time that would make any of this seem sensible to me. Anything else to say, Kassovitz?

"I should have chosen a studio that has guts."

Well, why not share this with them?

"I'm ready to go to war against them, but I can't because they don't give a shit."

Ooookay. I know I'm always making the funny, but not one of those quotes was made up. Seriously.

At least we know that Abbott and Costello's first baseman succeeded in life

I'm not a huge fan of "Dr. Who," the quirky British sci-fi character who dresses like a flasher and hangs out in a telephone booth...like a flasher. I've caught an episode or two over the years and was oddly captivated, but more in that "what in the name of crumpets and tea is going on here...and why is everyone so afraid of those ridiculous robot things?" Still, I know at least a few people who will be excited by the first rumor of a big-screen jaunt. The Hollywood Reporter...reports (I didn't even put up a fight on that one) that showrunner Steven Moffat remarked "It would be good to see it in the cinema so long as it is great and fantastic. I'm not against it..." Many, many thoughts spring to mind. First, cinema is what they call "goin' to da movies" in Limeyville; second, I appreciate the concern about quality but specifying "great" and "fantastic," well I think someone's just being a demanding pants (if you just get one of those, you're better than 90% of US TV-to-movie adaptations); and third, apparently saying "I'm not against it" is now newsworthy, according to The Hollywood Reporter. A non-denial of somewhat being interested in possibly adapting a TV show...that's what counts as news this week.

This has nothing to do with that reality show about the skank, right?

Paris, Je Teme was a delightful little flick featuring tons of itty-bitty films (including one by Alexander Payne. This endeavor was successful enough that they're trying it again with New York, I Love You. There's no real plot to summarize as all of the individual films just have something to do with The Big Apple (by the by, how did the coolest city get such a lame nickname? I'm sure I could wikipedia it, but I'm just amazed that the city doesn't live in perpetual envy of "The Big Easy" or "The Windy City" or "The City of Brotherly Love." What, was "The Giant Squash" already taken? Oh, and New Yorkers, I'm totally kidding, this is, as has been mentioned, a really slow newsweek). I will now list for you the directors and actors involved in the project that I care about (not all of them, because I don't have time for that shit). Directors include Scarlett Johansson (she can do everything...further proof of her perfection), Shekhar Kapur (love your other work, we should do lunch), Natalie Portman (ignore what I said about Scarlett, Natalie, you're my favorite), and Brett Ratner (Who let this guy in? Was there some kind of douchebag minimum?). Actors include Kevin Bacon (only doing this movie to ensure a lifetime of "6 degrees"), Maggie Q (the Q stands for sexy), Orlando Bloom (keep it up, someone will think you're a real actor...no, really), James Caan (still coming down off that Las Vegas experience), Hayden Christensen (hey, after the Gay Hutt, you're no longer my least favorite thing about Star Wars), Blake Lively (I'm told she's on "Gossip Girl," but I still couldn't pick her out of a tramp lineup), Julie Christie (classin' the joint up), Bradley Cooper ("Alias" 4 life yo...Will Tippen in the house), Chris Cooper (no relation to Bradley), Drea de Matteo (still not out of jail for "Joey"), Carla Gugino (ignore what I said about Natalie and Scarlett, Carla, you're my favorite), Ethan Hawke (how'd that writer/director thing turn out for ya?), Shia LaBeouf (seriously, you can't be in every movie), Cloris Leachman (seriously, you can't be in every movie), Natalie Portman (forget what I said about Carla and Scarlett, you really are my favorite), Rachel Bilson (forget what I said about Carla, Scarlett, and Natalie, you're my favorite), Christina Ricci (Rachel Bilson is my favorite), Saul Williams (slam poet in the house), and Ugur Yucel (he's no Nurgül Yesilçay, but he'll do in a pinch for our Turkish actor requirement).

That was fun. Here's the trailer for the film for you to enjoy more than this recap.