Quick clips for Wednesday August 13
Well, fine, but Bananarama really is composing the closing symphony
I love me some Chuck Palahniuk. I mean, I would never, ever want to meet him for fear that he would feast on my soul or some such thing, but his writing is a fresh blend of unique opinions, literary merit, and perversion. He's also, apparently, a crazy liar pants. Chud.com pointed me (well, anyone who was reading, it wasn't just for me) to a BBC article where Chuckie P was talking about the upcoming movie adaptation of his novel "Choke," which is one of my favorites of his but still plays like a slight retread of "Survivor" (which should have been made into a movie first...but I digress). In said article, Chuckster said that they "got Radiohead to contribute a song; to write a song for the very end of the movie, the final credits. Apparently, Radiohead liked the movie so much they've written the score." Well...CP is known for, howshallwesay, "embelishing" the truth a bit. So, The Playlist talked to the music supervisors and, you guessed it, this is all bunk. The only Radiohead song in the film is "Reckoner," which is off of "In Rainbows," so it isn't even an original song. Technically, this is a non-rumor, but it's hump day and news is slow. Besides, this way if someone says "dude, I totally heard that Radiohead was doing the Choke score" you can be all "na'ah." Then you should go get new friends, because you shouldn't befriend liar-mongers who say "dude" and "totally." I'm not telling you how to live your life, but you should listen to me.
The second muscled, oiled, bare-chested man update of the week
Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain, whose names sound either phony or like slimy politicians, are rewriting a draft of Conan for Lionsgate. The Hollywood Reporter...reports (so help me, one of these days I will find away around your clever trap you evil bastards) that the duo also has Amazon, about female warriors (to which Scarlett Johansson is attached...all...fantasies...coming...true), making its way through production. What's interesting is the blind, stupid optimism of Blackman, McCain and company, who don't seem to realize the limited popularity of the material they are working from. First, they are envisioning a "$100 million R-rated origin film." (Little slave dude gets muscled, picks up sword, origin over...seriously people, get over the need to do origin stories for guys like CONAN THE BARBARIAN. His last name is "The Barbarian," do we really need a long set-up? I think we get the idea). Second, my favorite is the quote from the producer, who says "There's no reason why there couldn't be a Conan movie every two years. He's almost like Batman: He's a dark hero. He's a hard hero. He has to be badass, but we also have to like him." Where to start? Other than appealing strongly to the gay community, Batman and Conan have nothing in common other than you just put them in the same sentence. One is a state-of-the-art crimefighter who squares off against supervillians and the other one, I don't know, greases himself for six hours a day and then chops some dude's head off. If there's a Conan movie every two years, I won't survive four years.
Movie mood makers
Although all movie critics like to pretend we're these objective pinnacles of observation. We all know that's crap, right? We can pretend that it doesn't matter whether we walk in to a screening angry enough to scowl at newborns, but it does. If you're in the mood for a laugh, a comedy that isn't so good (cough, Step Brothers, cough) may fool you into thinking it is (cough, Step Brothers isn't and if you like it you suck, cough). Likewise, I'm pretty sure I've been in moods where a film about the Chicago Bears, directed by the Lord almighty, starring Scarlett Johannson in every role, with U2 doing the score would still annoy me (okay, no it wouldn't, and if anyone wants to put such a film together, you are entitled to any money I have now or will have later). The coolest thing, however, is when you are pulled out of your negative nellyness by a film. For example, I know my Mrs always goes to certain romantic comedies to pull her out of ooky feelings (you have no idea how many times the phrase "I just want to watch Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" has been spoken in my house...I'm guessing more times than has been spoken by people who were in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton...or anyone actually). While I may go to classic nerd-flicks to improve my attitude (Star Wars original trilogy...obviously, Indiana Jones, etc), I really love it when I see something unexpected that yoinks me up from the depths of despair. My most recent experience of such a thing was Doomsday, which is out on DVD so you should rent it. I went in annoyed and came out blissfully happy about the sheer oddball carnage I had just watched (don't judge me). So, I'm wondering, what films have had that effect on others? There's a comment feature and everything, so don't feel like you have to answer out loud.
I love me some Chuck Palahniuk. I mean, I would never, ever want to meet him for fear that he would feast on my soul or some such thing, but his writing is a fresh blend of unique opinions, literary merit, and perversion. He's also, apparently, a crazy liar pants. Chud.com pointed me (well, anyone who was reading, it wasn't just for me) to a BBC article where Chuckie P was talking about the upcoming movie adaptation of his novel "Choke," which is one of my favorites of his but still plays like a slight retread of "Survivor" (which should have been made into a movie first...but I digress). In said article, Chuckster said that they "got Radiohead to contribute a song; to write a song for the very end of the movie, the final credits. Apparently, Radiohead liked the movie so much they've written the score." Well...CP is known for, howshallwesay, "embelishing" the truth a bit. So, The Playlist talked to the music supervisors and, you guessed it, this is all bunk. The only Radiohead song in the film is "Reckoner," which is off of "In Rainbows," so it isn't even an original song. Technically, this is a non-rumor, but it's hump day and news is slow. Besides, this way if someone says "dude, I totally heard that Radiohead was doing the Choke score" you can be all "na'ah." Then you should go get new friends, because you shouldn't befriend liar-mongers who say "dude" and "totally." I'm not telling you how to live your life, but you should listen to me.
The second muscled, oiled, bare-chested man update of the week
Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain, whose names sound either phony or like slimy politicians, are rewriting a draft of Conan for Lionsgate. The Hollywood Reporter...reports (so help me, one of these days I will find away around your clever trap you evil bastards) that the duo also has Amazon, about female warriors (to which Scarlett Johansson is attached...all...fantasies...coming...true), making its way through production. What's interesting is the blind, stupid optimism of Blackman, McCain and company, who don't seem to realize the limited popularity of the material they are working from. First, they are envisioning a "$100 million R-rated origin film." (Little slave dude gets muscled, picks up sword, origin over...seriously people, get over the need to do origin stories for guys like CONAN THE BARBARIAN. His last name is "The Barbarian," do we really need a long set-up? I think we get the idea). Second, my favorite is the quote from the producer, who says "There's no reason why there couldn't be a Conan movie every two years. He's almost like Batman: He's a dark hero. He's a hard hero. He has to be badass, but we also have to like him." Where to start? Other than appealing strongly to the gay community, Batman and Conan have nothing in common other than you just put them in the same sentence. One is a state-of-the-art crimefighter who squares off against supervillians and the other one, I don't know, greases himself for six hours a day and then chops some dude's head off. If there's a Conan movie every two years, I won't survive four years.
Movie mood makers
Although all movie critics like to pretend we're these objective pinnacles of observation. We all know that's crap, right? We can pretend that it doesn't matter whether we walk in to a screening angry enough to scowl at newborns, but it does. If you're in the mood for a laugh, a comedy that isn't so good (cough, Step Brothers, cough) may fool you into thinking it is (cough, Step Brothers isn't and if you like it you suck, cough). Likewise, I'm pretty sure I've been in moods where a film about the Chicago Bears, directed by the Lord almighty, starring Scarlett Johannson in every role, with U2 doing the score would still annoy me (okay, no it wouldn't, and if anyone wants to put such a film together, you are entitled to any money I have now or will have later). The coolest thing, however, is when you are pulled out of your negative nellyness by a film. For example, I know my Mrs always goes to certain romantic comedies to pull her out of ooky feelings (you have no idea how many times the phrase "I just want to watch Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" has been spoken in my house...I'm guessing more times than has been spoken by people who were in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton...or anyone actually). While I may go to classic nerd-flicks to improve my attitude (Star Wars original trilogy...obviously, Indiana Jones, etc), I really love it when I see something unexpected that yoinks me up from the depths of despair. My most recent experience of such a thing was Doomsday, which is out on DVD so you should rent it. I went in annoyed and came out blissfully happy about the sheer oddball carnage I had just watched (don't judge me). So, I'm wondering, what films have had that effect on others? There's a comment feature and everything, so don't feel like you have to answer out loud.
posted by Ryan at
8:56 AM
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