Thursday (but Friday for me, suckers) Free-For-All
Slightly more exciting than the Paul Haggis Myspace movie
Somewhere, Tom is crying. Aaron Sorkin, arguably the finest master of rapid-fire dialogue (though he'd fail any performance enhancing test), has a Facebook page, which is fine (other than the picture, which makes him look like he's posing in an ad for "Gap Douche"). What's odd is that he created it because he's writing a movie about the makers of Facebook. Really? A movie about the creation of Facebook? Were Nazis trying to prevent the makers from completing their task? No...okay, well, did they overcome some kind of social challenge? Like, are the makers two paraplegic lesbians who had to finish their creation before they went blind? Really, just a couple of nerds in college...hmm...well, what are you thinking for the action sequences? Some kind of ninja bursts in and....no, just a lot of typing, really? Don't get me wrong, I long ago made a pact to follow anything this guy does, explaining my fervor over "Studio 60" (a show I will still contend was unfairly blasted). Still, I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate movies that center around anything involving the computer and only mostly hate movies based on true stories (not a lot of surprises when a 3-year-old Wikipedia page contains all plot points). Godspeed, Mr. Sorkin. I do hope they're paying well.
Weekend battle plan: Even the guy who made the new Vin Diesel movie wouldn't see the new Vin Diesel movie.
I'm out and about this weekend, finally taking a little vacation (that's right, I'm taking a whole 4 days off in a row...we'll see if it takes). I'm gone Monday but, more important to the conversation at hand, I'm gone tomorrow. So, that means I have to dole out my weekend instructions early. I had a little help this week, as mentioned earlier, when the director of Babylon AD instructed everyone to stay away from Babylon AD. That still leaves a bunch of stuff that looks like it could be good...most of it isn't. Here's where we come in. College is a cheap American Pie rip off, which was a cheap Porky's rip off, which was actually a pretty good movie. What I'm trying to say is, when your film is unfavorably, compared to American Pie, your film sucks. Disaster Movie is the latest from the Scary, Epic, Superhero Movie gang. If you liked those films, you'll like this one (and if you make it to the theater wearing your pants in the right direction and without copious amounts of face-drool, I'm impressed). Hamlet 2 is, by all accounts hilarious, but if you're afraid of being rocked by Sexy Jesus, it's not for you. Traitor is, again by all accounts, a pretty taut little thriller featuring Guy Pearce and Don "The Real Deadle" Cheadle (I'm using that every time, Ben Coffman, every time). These two are incredible thespians (I said thespians, it's not that funny), and the film is getting mostly favorable buzz.
That's my recommendation: If you want the laughs, see Hamlet 2; if you want the thrills, see Traitor; if you want the eye-gonorrhea, see Babylon AD.
On DVD: It's the Democratic National Convention, in case you hadn't heard, and if you're in the mood for more political flavah, check out Chicago 10, a really unique documentary about the 1968 convention. It is full of animation, real audio, crazy narration, and is shockingly engaging. Getcher politics on.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
I have zero chance of success this week. I'm just saying, there's NO WAY I get this right. I'll be lucky if these films just appear in theaters this weekend. Choosing the prettiest of these ugly ducklings is made worse by the fact that most won't have any chance at swan...none whatsoever. Wish me luck, here we go...these are over the 4-day holiday weekend by the way (not that this helps my odds):
1.) Disaster Movie - $15 million
I only picked this to go number one (hee-hee, I said "go number one") because I'm feeling jaded. With any other options, this shouldn't happen...I think it will.
2.) Babylon AD - $14 million
The director warns you, the star is so ashamed he won't appear in public, and yet this still has a shot at being the most seen film this weekend. I don't understand. Then again, who can resist a "girl carrying a parasite that could be the messiah?" Certainly me.
3.) Tropic Thunder - $13 million
Notice how close these predictions are, I can't even imagine which one will actually end up on top, only that whoever wins, we lose (that's right, I just stole the Aliens vs Predator tagline). Hopefully, this weekend puts this flick close to the $100 million mark, if only to avoid people calling it a failure.
4.) The Dark Knight - $12 million
This should take it over the $500 million mark, after which things should really slow down for it. Again, here's the only way it overtakes Titanic. First, it has to have a few nice small weeks (taking it to around $540 million by the time it leaves theaters). Then, Ledger and the film BOTH have to be nominated for Oscars AND have to WIN the Oscars, which will allow a re-release and MAYBE enough to win. That's the only way to get Cameron's crown...well, that or a shiv.
5.) The House Bunny - $7.5 million
I don't get it. I really don't.
Somewhere, Tom is crying. Aaron Sorkin, arguably the finest master of rapid-fire dialogue (though he'd fail any performance enhancing test), has a Facebook page, which is fine (other than the picture, which makes him look like he's posing in an ad for "Gap Douche"). What's odd is that he created it because he's writing a movie about the makers of Facebook. Really? A movie about the creation of Facebook? Were Nazis trying to prevent the makers from completing their task? No...okay, well, did they overcome some kind of social challenge? Like, are the makers two paraplegic lesbians who had to finish their creation before they went blind? Really, just a couple of nerds in college...hmm...well, what are you thinking for the action sequences? Some kind of ninja bursts in and....no, just a lot of typing, really? Don't get me wrong, I long ago made a pact to follow anything this guy does, explaining my fervor over "Studio 60" (a show I will still contend was unfairly blasted). Still, I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate movies that center around anything involving the computer and only mostly hate movies based on true stories (not a lot of surprises when a 3-year-old Wikipedia page contains all plot points). Godspeed, Mr. Sorkin. I do hope they're paying well.
Weekend battle plan: Even the guy who made the new Vin Diesel movie wouldn't see the new Vin Diesel movie.
I'm out and about this weekend, finally taking a little vacation (that's right, I'm taking a whole 4 days off in a row...we'll see if it takes). I'm gone Monday but, more important to the conversation at hand, I'm gone tomorrow. So, that means I have to dole out my weekend instructions early. I had a little help this week, as mentioned earlier, when the director of Babylon AD instructed everyone to stay away from Babylon AD. That still leaves a bunch of stuff that looks like it could be good...most of it isn't. Here's where we come in. College is a cheap American Pie rip off, which was a cheap Porky's rip off, which was actually a pretty good movie. What I'm trying to say is, when your film is unfavorably, compared to American Pie, your film sucks. Disaster Movie is the latest from the Scary, Epic, Superhero Movie gang. If you liked those films, you'll like this one (and if you make it to the theater wearing your pants in the right direction and without copious amounts of face-drool, I'm impressed). Hamlet 2 is, by all accounts hilarious, but if you're afraid of being rocked by Sexy Jesus, it's not for you. Traitor is, again by all accounts, a pretty taut little thriller featuring Guy Pearce and Don "The Real Deadle" Cheadle (I'm using that every time, Ben Coffman, every time). These two are incredible thespians (I said thespians, it's not that funny), and the film is getting mostly favorable buzz.
That's my recommendation: If you want the laughs, see Hamlet 2; if you want the thrills, see Traitor; if you want the eye-gonorrhea, see Babylon AD.
On DVD: It's the Democratic National Convention, in case you hadn't heard, and if you're in the mood for more political flavah, check out Chicago 10, a really unique documentary about the 1968 convention. It is full of animation, real audio, crazy narration, and is shockingly engaging. Getcher politics on.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
I have zero chance of success this week. I'm just saying, there's NO WAY I get this right. I'll be lucky if these films just appear in theaters this weekend. Choosing the prettiest of these ugly ducklings is made worse by the fact that most won't have any chance at swan...none whatsoever. Wish me luck, here we go...these are over the 4-day holiday weekend by the way (not that this helps my odds):
1.) Disaster Movie - $15 million
I only picked this to go number one (hee-hee, I said "go number one") because I'm feeling jaded. With any other options, this shouldn't happen...I think it will.
2.) Babylon AD - $14 million
The director warns you, the star is so ashamed he won't appear in public, and yet this still has a shot at being the most seen film this weekend. I don't understand. Then again, who can resist a "girl carrying a parasite that could be the messiah?" Certainly me.
3.) Tropic Thunder - $13 million
Notice how close these predictions are, I can't even imagine which one will actually end up on top, only that whoever wins, we lose (that's right, I just stole the Aliens vs Predator tagline). Hopefully, this weekend puts this flick close to the $100 million mark, if only to avoid people calling it a failure.
4.) The Dark Knight - $12 million
This should take it over the $500 million mark, after which things should really slow down for it. Again, here's the only way it overtakes Titanic. First, it has to have a few nice small weeks (taking it to around $540 million by the time it leaves theaters). Then, Ledger and the film BOTH have to be nominated for Oscars AND have to WIN the Oscars, which will allow a re-release and MAYBE enough to win. That's the only way to get Cameron's crown...well, that or a shiv.
5.) The House Bunny - $7.5 million
I don't get it. I really don't.
posted by Ryan at
8:48 AM
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