Friday Free-For-All
Breaking news, a Cutting Room Floor exclusive: There's going to be an Iron Man 2 and 3
Devin from Chud.com, by far the funniest mothertrucker in the Internet movie rumor mongering business, got a chance to hang out with the ever-expanding John Favreau. The former "Friends" star (sorry, but that's how I remember him) was filming some interview stuff for the DVD release of Iron Man, which is about a man dressed in iron in case you haven't seen it. There are tons upon tons of news nuggets from this interview that will give comic book fans an anticipation chubby. That said, much of the following won't make sense unless you have passing knowledge of the "Iron Man" comic book series. If not, there's this great site called Wikipedia, I highly recommend it for anything but instructions as to performing surgery. Of all the notes (and there are many) that Devin drops, the ones that interested me the most were (A)Tony Stark's friend Rhodey, who turns into War Machine (another armored suit), is going to have a bigger role in the second movie (which is totally cool so long as Terrence Howard doesn't sing R&B while inside the metal costume), and (B) the villain of the trilogy will be The Mandarin...but the problem is turning a caricature of Asians who wields magic rings into...I don't know...a non-caricature of Asians who doesn't wield magic rings. Favreau says he thinks of Mandarin as The Emperor (before he became totally lame) and also hinted that the recent acts of Putin and company in Russia may have revitalized the possibility of seeing The Crimson Dynamo as a baddie. See Georgia, it was all worth it. Your suffering and loss of sovereignty gave us a potentially great supervillian in a comic book movie and some great moments of a certain VP candidate trying to remember the flash-card that said "South Ossetia."
Weekend Battle Plan: Tyler Perry recommends that Tyler Perry fans listen to Tyler Perry and seek out Tyler Perry's new movie: Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys...so says Tyler Perry...Tyler Perry (it's like Tourette syndrome)
Okay, so the weekend looks pretty bleak unless you're a big fan of a certain aforementioned self-promoting producer. We have the "Bionic Woman" Meg Ryan ("we can rebuild her...we can make her smoother, puffier, less attractive"), Annette Benning (incredible actress...terrible agent), Eva Mendes (body = va-va-voom; talent = zzzzzzzzzzz), Jada Pinkett Smith (I actually really like her...can we get her in something good), and a few others starring in a remake of the 1930s comedy The Women. When this was rumored, it was buzzed about strongly...now it's opening in mid-September. Ouch. We also have Righteous Kill, a movie so unappealing I'm shocked Ashley Judd isn't in it. Yes, I know: DeNiro. Pacino. Whocareso. These two have spent the twilight of their career soiling the first part of their career. They are caricatures of themselves and this movie isn't fit for a "Law and Order" plot. Finally, the Coen brothers follow up Oscar gold with Burn After Reading, with George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I loooooooved The Big Lebowski, and the Coen boys' talent for screwball is unparalleled in modern times. In case you couldn't sniff it out, this is the one to see.
That's my recommendation: Get to Burn After Reading and reward intelligent filmmakers, talented actors, and the kind of comedy that should be made (the kind without exposed scrotums...what's the plural of scrotum? scroti? anyway...the kind without insulting stupidity).
On DVD: I really must trust Ben Coffman. I'm recommending The Fall over both Forgotten Kingdom (there's some kind of cosmic synergy that allows the Jackie Chan/Jet Li movie to release on DVD the same week as the Pacino/DeNiro pairing...some kind of cosmic synergy that unites projects made DECADES LATE) and Baby Mama (for the record, I still love you Tina Fey and you too Amy Poehler). Supposedly visually cool and really weird, the plot sounds kind of like Mirrormask to me and I loved every nightmare-inducing minute of that one. You may as well check it out, everyone else is going to rent the other two. So that's it: Rent The Fall.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
This has nothing to do with anything, but Chud.com just ran a headline that said "Never go full Juliard." That's one of the funniest things I've heard all week. Anyhoo...I want to start keeping track of the terrible job I'm doing on the predictions somehow. I know there's some kind of algorithm or mathematical formula that can give me a percentage of accuracy. If someone out there can figure it out I will give you vast riches...and by vast riches I mean a public shout out. That is, provided there are people reading this. At any rate. Here's my predictions for the first week post-Worst Week Ever (ie, the lowest number one film in 5 years).
1.) Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys - $16 million
I will never bet against Tyler Perry. The man's audiences will come despite rain, snow, or less-than-good material. Seriously, I bet you when you hear stories from people in Texas who didn't flee Ike, they're going to say "I had to stay to watch the new Tyler Perry movie."
2.) Righteous Kill - $13 million
I hope that this movie was made for $12 million, because it isn't going to have a very long shelf life. The least skilled use of two great actors I've seen since the infamous Marlon Brando vs Paul Newman whiffle ball game.
3.) Burn After Reading - $12 million
It's a toss-up for me whether this will find a bigger audience than The Women. It's going to be close. I'm giving this one the edge since both men AND women want to see Brad Pitt act like a chode...whereas only women want to see Meg Ryan...ever.
4.) The Women - $11 million
The strategy of showing a scantily-clad Eva Mendes aside, the studio is hoping that football widows come out in droves. You catch more flies with honey that doo-doo.
5.) Tropic Thunder - $4 million
Crossing the $100 million barrier, providing important life lessons about "going full retard," and redeeming (to a small, small degree) Tom Cruise...forget Oscar, let's give this a Nobel Peace Prize.
Devin from Chud.com, by far the funniest mothertrucker in the Internet movie rumor mongering business, got a chance to hang out with the ever-expanding John Favreau. The former "Friends" star (sorry, but that's how I remember him) was filming some interview stuff for the DVD release of Iron Man, which is about a man dressed in iron in case you haven't seen it. There are tons upon tons of news nuggets from this interview that will give comic book fans an anticipation chubby. That said, much of the following won't make sense unless you have passing knowledge of the "Iron Man" comic book series. If not, there's this great site called Wikipedia, I highly recommend it for anything but instructions as to performing surgery. Of all the notes (and there are many) that Devin drops, the ones that interested me the most were (A)Tony Stark's friend Rhodey, who turns into War Machine (another armored suit), is going to have a bigger role in the second movie (which is totally cool so long as Terrence Howard doesn't sing R&B while inside the metal costume), and (B) the villain of the trilogy will be The Mandarin...but the problem is turning a caricature of Asians who wields magic rings into...I don't know...a non-caricature of Asians who doesn't wield magic rings. Favreau says he thinks of Mandarin as The Emperor (before he became totally lame) and also hinted that the recent acts of Putin and company in Russia may have revitalized the possibility of seeing The Crimson Dynamo as a baddie. See Georgia, it was all worth it. Your suffering and loss of sovereignty gave us a potentially great supervillian in a comic book movie and some great moments of a certain VP candidate trying to remember the flash-card that said "South Ossetia."
Weekend Battle Plan: Tyler Perry recommends that Tyler Perry fans listen to Tyler Perry and seek out Tyler Perry's new movie: Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys...so says Tyler Perry...Tyler Perry (it's like Tourette syndrome)
Okay, so the weekend looks pretty bleak unless you're a big fan of a certain aforementioned self-promoting producer. We have the "Bionic Woman" Meg Ryan ("we can rebuild her...we can make her smoother, puffier, less attractive"), Annette Benning (incredible actress...terrible agent), Eva Mendes (body = va-va-voom; talent = zzzzzzzzzzz), Jada Pinkett Smith (I actually really like her...can we get her in something good), and a few others starring in a remake of the 1930s comedy The Women. When this was rumored, it was buzzed about strongly...now it's opening in mid-September. Ouch. We also have Righteous Kill, a movie so unappealing I'm shocked Ashley Judd isn't in it. Yes, I know: DeNiro. Pacino. Whocareso. These two have spent the twilight of their career soiling the first part of their career. They are caricatures of themselves and this movie isn't fit for a "Law and Order" plot. Finally, the Coen brothers follow up Oscar gold with Burn After Reading, with George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I loooooooved The Big Lebowski, and the Coen boys' talent for screwball is unparalleled in modern times. In case you couldn't sniff it out, this is the one to see.
That's my recommendation: Get to Burn After Reading and reward intelligent filmmakers, talented actors, and the kind of comedy that should be made (the kind without exposed scrotums...what's the plural of scrotum? scroti? anyway...the kind without insulting stupidity).
On DVD: I really must trust Ben Coffman. I'm recommending The Fall over both Forgotten Kingdom (there's some kind of cosmic synergy that allows the Jackie Chan/Jet Li movie to release on DVD the same week as the Pacino/DeNiro pairing...some kind of cosmic synergy that unites projects made DECADES LATE) and Baby Mama (for the record, I still love you Tina Fey and you too Amy Poehler). Supposedly visually cool and really weird, the plot sounds kind of like Mirrormask to me and I loved every nightmare-inducing minute of that one. You may as well check it out, everyone else is going to rent the other two. So that's it: Rent The Fall.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
This has nothing to do with anything, but Chud.com just ran a headline that said "Never go full Juliard." That's one of the funniest things I've heard all week. Anyhoo...I want to start keeping track of the terrible job I'm doing on the predictions somehow. I know there's some kind of algorithm or mathematical formula that can give me a percentage of accuracy. If someone out there can figure it out I will give you vast riches...and by vast riches I mean a public shout out. That is, provided there are people reading this. At any rate. Here's my predictions for the first week post-Worst Week Ever (ie, the lowest number one film in 5 years).
1.) Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys - $16 million
I will never bet against Tyler Perry. The man's audiences will come despite rain, snow, or less-than-good material. Seriously, I bet you when you hear stories from people in Texas who didn't flee Ike, they're going to say "I had to stay to watch the new Tyler Perry movie."
2.) Righteous Kill - $13 million
I hope that this movie was made for $12 million, because it isn't going to have a very long shelf life. The least skilled use of two great actors I've seen since the infamous Marlon Brando vs Paul Newman whiffle ball game.
3.) Burn After Reading - $12 million
It's a toss-up for me whether this will find a bigger audience than The Women. It's going to be close. I'm giving this one the edge since both men AND women want to see Brad Pitt act like a chode...whereas only women want to see Meg Ryan...ever.
4.) The Women - $11 million
The strategy of showing a scantily-clad Eva Mendes aside, the studio is hoping that football widows come out in droves. You catch more flies with honey that doo-doo.
5.) Tropic Thunder - $4 million
Crossing the $100 million barrier, providing important life lessons about "going full retard," and redeeming (to a small, small degree) Tom Cruise...forget Oscar, let's give this a Nobel Peace Prize.
posted by Ryan at
8:34 AM
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