Quick clips for Monday September 22

Weekend Box Office Results: Let's not assign blame, we're all losers here

Unlike my beloved football teams, who are more determined than ever to initiate some kind of cardiac event inside of me and induce subsequent massive depression, things went pretty much according to plan at the box office, aside from Igor ruining everything...maybe (just like last week, the actual numbers could reveal the estimates to be filthy, filthy liars. Using my handy-dandy new prognostication formulas, we can determine that I had a pretty average week. You know what, in light of the failing economy and efforts by certain politicians to make the world collapse upon itself, I'll take it.

Here are the results:

1.) Lakeview Terrace - $15.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 98%)

Ben Coffman and I were just discussing the nuances of a plotline that involves a hatred for interracial couples and I realized that, despite being pretty cool, Sam Jackson seems intent on setting race relations backwards. If you've ever seen The Man, you'll discover a joke about slavery in the first ten minutes. So, discuss: Sam Jackson - F-word blasting cool cat or cyborg from the future hellbent on degrading race relations to the point of riots that consume all of humanity?

2.) Burn After Reading - $11 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)

Such a nice surprise this is, watching audiences stick with a quality film based on positive word of mouth. This dandy little dark comedy will have made back its production budget by tomorrow and will be raking in the dough, which is good because I was worried about that Clooney fellow having enough cash.

3.) My Best Friend's Girl - $8.3 million (Accuracy of prediction - 91.5%)

With this, we close the door on Dane Cook: The Actor. We must now move our attention to stopping the spread of Dane Cook: The Comedian, moving on to project Dane Cook: The Homeless Guy Who Swears He Used to be Famous. Also interesting, Kate Hudson, who should also be put on famewatch. The only good news, this was actually decent box office for Jason Biggs. Don't tell him this is a flop, he needs this.

4.) Igor - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 0%)

This is the one that could change. Right now, it's sitting about $500,000 ahead of Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry (featuring Tyler Perry). The projection is that family audiences came out in force on Sunday, but I don't think they did. My guess is that daddy stayed home and watched his football and drank his beer. Why? Because he works hard to provide for you. Isn't it enough that he makes an effort, why should he miss the Steelers game just because the rugrats wanna see a computer movie with a talking brain in a jar? That's just stupid.

5.) Righteous Kill - $7.7 million (Accuracy of prediction - 96%)

Right now, whoever spent $60 million on this movie is sweating heavily. They shouldn't worry, the target demo for a DeNiro and Pacino movie is now bed-ridden, so DVD will be huge for them.

Overall accuracy - 77%

If Igor slips heavily, this could change, but I'm off slightly from last week. I went from a B to a C, but hey, they tell me that a C is average, no matter how often I was beaten if I got that grade as a child.

Contemplations on hornets of emerald and kung fu

Stephen Chow, best known to American audiences as "Who?", has long been rumored to have a lock on the part of Kato in the upcoming adaptation of The Green Hornet. Seth Rogen is set to play the lead and has been slimming down for the part (no word on how they plan to slim down his white afro however). For those who are unfamiliar, The Green Hornet is basically a Batman rip off with an Asian stereotype as a sidekick instead of Robin. The good news is, Chow is incredibly funny and, according to The Hollywood Reporter, has been signed to direct as well. This is good for a number of reasons, first and foremost is that Rogen and the rest of Apatow's posse showed with the end of Pineapple Express that action is not their first language (in fact, it's more like a language they can only pronounce enough to ask where the restroom is). Chow, on the other hand, has been doing the comedy/action thing better than anybody on any continent for awhile now. The tone of this film is more difficult to predict than a vice presidential nomination. If they go too far with the comedy, it's slapstick stupidity. If they go too far with the action/drama, it's destined for failure. There's a small window that Rogen and Chow have to leap through, but I love the pairing and have nothing but high hopes for this one.

When, Lord, when do we get the Pong movie we've all been waiting for?!

When it was announced that they were making the videogame "The Sims" into a movie, I fell into a philosophical coma (wait, so the game simulates human experiences while humans play it, but now, humans are going to play the simulated humans that are controlled by the humans that....about there was when the eyes rolled back and the twitching started). Well, Collider spoke with producer John Davis and he explained how this may work. Basically, two kids get their hands on a "Sims Infinity Pack" sold by a mysterious video game store (I hope run by the guy who sold Gizmo in Gremlins) and they discover that the simulation game actually changes their real world. So, on the one hand, it's kind of like Click (shudder) and on the other, I have to wonder if they discover that, much like their actions controlling the simulated characters have an impact on their real life, actually interacting with other humans ALSO has an impact on their life. I suppose that it could sound worse, but it does sound pretty weak (like someone fell asleep watching The Last Starfighter). Speaking of The Last Starfighter, I really think we need to move the quest to get a remake of that movie forward. It's time for someone with more spunk and ambition than me to start some kind of easily ignored petition or online community dedicated to such a thing. If we stay silent now, we may live in a world without a remake of The Last Starfighter, and that's a world I don't want to live in.