Friday Free-For-All
The bruhaha in Omaha, the disastah in Nebraska...etc
Dundee Theatre is bringing in a movie I'm not going to get to review because of holiday deadlines (damn you, turkey...damn you to my belly). That said, I did want to make mention of what is an interesting little directorial debut from actor Stuart Townsend. Battle in Seattle is the tale of the 1999 World Trade Organization (far catchier than their original title: collection of bastards) meetings and protests in Seattle, where a bunch of people got gassed for gassing about gas bags. It was an important display of civil disobedience and public protest that just doesn't get talked about enough, largely due to everyone dismissing the acts of the vandalistic anarchists who went gonzo on the whole thing (damn you, anarchists...damn you to my belly?). The film itself, as adaptations of real events are wont to do, mixes in a bunch of fictional stories (don't worry people who live vicariously through fictional events, romance is in at least one of them) with a bunch of famous people (Connie Nielsen, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Michelle Rodriguez, and Woody Harrelson). The results have been a little mixed, with Rotten Tomatoes floating just slightly above the Mendoza line in Tomatometer score (53% as of this writing) but the subject matter is enough to intrigue the Dickens out of me (and the Dickens is pretty firmly entrenched in me, so getting it out is very hard to do). I plan on circling back to this when it's released on DVD, if for no other reason than I find the subject personally interesting (were that I had been born in rainy/granola country, I undoubtedly would have been a protest monger who let his armpit hair grow out...whaddyamean dudes do that everywhere? Thanks for telling a guy). I'll keep you posted on that front but, for now, seeing as how your other choices are talking dogs or abstience-metaphor vampire tweens, I'd think about checking in with the Dundee.
Weekend Battle Plan: Tween invasion = Finding a safe place to hide
As is likely evident from my post yesterday, I'm not the biggest proponent of Twilight, the latest non-phenomenon-turned-phenomenon-by-media-desperate-for-a-phenomenon. It looks stupid. I'm not going to see it because I don't have to (no review this week on it and I didn't have to do the radio show this morning) and you shouldn't either, because it looks stupid. Really stupid...so stupid that the hack, smelly, actor kid playing the abstinence-only vampire even said publicly the books are lame (as did Kristen Stewart, who I like, so I won't make as much fun of her). It's not that I have some kind of stock in Twilight sinking, I'll just be really happy if it does. I want tweens to grow up reading things that are "good" and that stimulate their imagination regarding things that don't involve dry humping blood suckers. Again, I forgave Harry Potter because it was inherently creative, challenging younger audiences with imagination. Twilight is written by the crazy cat lady who wants to think about tweens doin' it with their clothes on (again, that's not my opinion, that was the opinion of the lead in the movie). In non-depressing news, Bolt will be a good alternative to parents who have been forced to suffer the undignified fate of attending Madagascar 2 several times. Still, I'm going to go ahead and advocate a return to 007-ville. If you haven't seen it, you need to, or the dry humping tween vampires win.
That's my recommendation: Make your first or second trip to see 007. Quantum of Solace rules even if it sounds insane.
On DVD: Wow, Sophie's Choice for me on DVD (wait, that wasn't a recommendation to actually rent Sophie's Choice, you'll have a really depressing party if you do that). I want to recommend Tropic Thunder because it made me laugh a lot (God bless you Robert Downey Jr) but I HAVE to recommend Wall-E because I loved the stuffing out of that robot. Seriously, just such a beautiful and tender film. I'm not saying it made me cry but the moisture on my shirt wasn't just male lactation.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
I don't know how the h-tothe-E-tothe-double hockey sticks I got last week as good as I did (aside from the innate awesomeness that resides within me) but it felt good to not look like a total moron for a whole week. Let's see if we can keep that going. Likely not, but there's always that chance. The monkey wrench in the machine this time will be how truly rabid and deep the fanbase for preteen Harlequin romance novels is. Yes, it's going to do big money ON FRIDAY, but if the base is as limited as I suspect, it will die a hard and bitter death on Saturday and Sunday. Then again, those little devotees may go see it multiple times (because the alternative is pensive self-loathing and that's on tap for Monday).
Here's how I see it:
1.) Twilight - $65 million
This may be wildly low or wildly high, as the trends have been as low as $45 million and as high as $75 million. I personally can't see it even doing this well, but that's because I hate it with the fury I usually reserve for Green Bay Packer fans and dudes with stickers that have someone or something peeing on someone or something on their Hummer.
2.) Bolt - $40 million
Despite being better in every way (other than the involvement of Miley Cyrus, who I'm fast beginning to believe has been sent here to destroy anyone that Twilight doesn't get to first) than Madagascar 2, it won't be able to match the huuuuuge opening that film had. That's because it had a built in audience of adults who remember the zebra that says "crack-a-lacking" and the hippo with sass (kill. me. now.)
3.) Quantum of Solace - $32 million
I really wish this would have a huge second weekend, but chances are that many people already rushed out and saw it last weekend (as evident by the record-setting numbers last week). It really is just a very well assembled action film and warrants multiple viewing (and they didn't even pay me to say that...although I really could use the bribe money).
4.) Madagascar 2: Get it? The penguins are hysterical! - $17 million
Bolt will take a big bite out of this film's butt. A well-deserved big bite. This will be the last we see of this on the big board (I say big board like I'm John King at CNN with his magic machine...oh to have that opportunity! I would like nothing more than to expand and contract the heads of the actors within these movies. It's like cable news voodoo).
5.) Role Models - $6.5 million
The little-comedy-that-could will end up making around $75 million between DVD and big-screen. Proving that dudes from MTV's "The State" should be given as much money as they want to do whatever movie they want. Period. Please, please give me a cinematic version of "Lenny, the guy who says 'I wanna dip my balls in it.'"
Dundee Theatre is bringing in a movie I'm not going to get to review because of holiday deadlines (damn you, turkey...damn you to my belly). That said, I did want to make mention of what is an interesting little directorial debut from actor Stuart Townsend. Battle in Seattle is the tale of the 1999 World Trade Organization (far catchier than their original title: collection of bastards) meetings and protests in Seattle, where a bunch of people got gassed for gassing about gas bags. It was an important display of civil disobedience and public protest that just doesn't get talked about enough, largely due to everyone dismissing the acts of the vandalistic anarchists who went gonzo on the whole thing (damn you, anarchists...damn you to my belly?). The film itself, as adaptations of real events are wont to do, mixes in a bunch of fictional stories (don't worry people who live vicariously through fictional events, romance is in at least one of them) with a bunch of famous people (Connie Nielsen, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Michelle Rodriguez, and Woody Harrelson). The results have been a little mixed, with Rotten Tomatoes floating just slightly above the Mendoza line in Tomatometer score (53% as of this writing) but the subject matter is enough to intrigue the Dickens out of me (and the Dickens is pretty firmly entrenched in me, so getting it out is very hard to do). I plan on circling back to this when it's released on DVD, if for no other reason than I find the subject personally interesting (were that I had been born in rainy/granola country, I undoubtedly would have been a protest monger who let his armpit hair grow out...whaddyamean dudes do that everywhere? Thanks for telling a guy). I'll keep you posted on that front but, for now, seeing as how your other choices are talking dogs or abstience-metaphor vampire tweens, I'd think about checking in with the Dundee.
Weekend Battle Plan: Tween invasion = Finding a safe place to hide
As is likely evident from my post yesterday, I'm not the biggest proponent of Twilight, the latest non-phenomenon-turned-phenomenon-by-media-desperate-for-a-phenomenon. It looks stupid. I'm not going to see it because I don't have to (no review this week on it and I didn't have to do the radio show this morning) and you shouldn't either, because it looks stupid. Really stupid...so stupid that the hack, smelly, actor kid playing the abstinence-only vampire even said publicly the books are lame (as did Kristen Stewart, who I like, so I won't make as much fun of her). It's not that I have some kind of stock in Twilight sinking, I'll just be really happy if it does. I want tweens to grow up reading things that are "good" and that stimulate their imagination regarding things that don't involve dry humping blood suckers. Again, I forgave Harry Potter because it was inherently creative, challenging younger audiences with imagination. Twilight is written by the crazy cat lady who wants to think about tweens doin' it with their clothes on (again, that's not my opinion, that was the opinion of the lead in the movie). In non-depressing news, Bolt will be a good alternative to parents who have been forced to suffer the undignified fate of attending Madagascar 2 several times. Still, I'm going to go ahead and advocate a return to 007-ville. If you haven't seen it, you need to, or the dry humping tween vampires win.
That's my recommendation: Make your first or second trip to see 007. Quantum of Solace rules even if it sounds insane.
On DVD: Wow, Sophie's Choice for me on DVD (wait, that wasn't a recommendation to actually rent Sophie's Choice, you'll have a really depressing party if you do that). I want to recommend Tropic Thunder because it made me laugh a lot (God bless you Robert Downey Jr) but I HAVE to recommend Wall-E because I loved the stuffing out of that robot. Seriously, just such a beautiful and tender film. I'm not saying it made me cry but the moisture on my shirt wasn't just male lactation.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
I don't know how the h-tothe-E-tothe-double hockey sticks I got last week as good as I did (aside from the innate awesomeness that resides within me) but it felt good to not look like a total moron for a whole week. Let's see if we can keep that going. Likely not, but there's always that chance. The monkey wrench in the machine this time will be how truly rabid and deep the fanbase for preteen Harlequin romance novels is. Yes, it's going to do big money ON FRIDAY, but if the base is as limited as I suspect, it will die a hard and bitter death on Saturday and Sunday. Then again, those little devotees may go see it multiple times (because the alternative is pensive self-loathing and that's on tap for Monday).
Here's how I see it:
1.) Twilight - $65 million
This may be wildly low or wildly high, as the trends have been as low as $45 million and as high as $75 million. I personally can't see it even doing this well, but that's because I hate it with the fury I usually reserve for Green Bay Packer fans and dudes with stickers that have someone or something peeing on someone or something on their Hummer.
2.) Bolt - $40 million
Despite being better in every way (other than the involvement of Miley Cyrus, who I'm fast beginning to believe has been sent here to destroy anyone that Twilight doesn't get to first) than Madagascar 2, it won't be able to match the huuuuuge opening that film had. That's because it had a built in audience of adults who remember the zebra that says "crack-a-lacking" and the hippo with sass (kill. me. now.)
3.) Quantum of Solace - $32 million
I really wish this would have a huge second weekend, but chances are that many people already rushed out and saw it last weekend (as evident by the record-setting numbers last week). It really is just a very well assembled action film and warrants multiple viewing (and they didn't even pay me to say that...although I really could use the bribe money).
4.) Madagascar 2: Get it? The penguins are hysterical! - $17 million
Bolt will take a big bite out of this film's butt. A well-deserved big bite. This will be the last we see of this on the big board (I say big board like I'm John King at CNN with his magic machine...oh to have that opportunity! I would like nothing more than to expand and contract the heads of the actors within these movies. It's like cable news voodoo).
5.) Role Models - $6.5 million
The little-comedy-that-could will end up making around $75 million between DVD and big-screen. Proving that dudes from MTV's "The State" should be given as much money as they want to do whatever movie they want. Period. Please, please give me a cinematic version of "Lenny, the guy who says 'I wanna dip my balls in it.'"
posted by Ryan at
9:04 AM
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