Quick clips for Tuesday November 25

What? Like Will Smith can't resurrect himself?

Here's how little I care for the ending of I am Legend (at least the one that was actually released in theaters...more on that in a minute...I rule at foreshadowing): I'm going to just tell you what happens. Will Smith's character keeps a grenade in his basement laboratory, you know just in case, and sends random girl and her boy through an escape hatch (he doesn't go with because somebody has to use the grenade). So he explodes for no reason and they save the world or some such shit. Now, on the DVD you are treated to a FAR better (although 100% less grenade-tastic) ending, wherein Smith realizes that HE has become the boogieman to the monster people (which was the whole point of the title and the book, but I digress) and survives with that knowledge. Why do I bring all this up? Because Aintitcool.com is reporting that I Am Legend II, or as they are cleverly calling it II Am Legend and as Chud.com is calling it I Am Legender, is no longer going to be a prequel but a sequel...which is insane because Will Smith is in chunks according to the end of the last movie (again, at least the end that people saw in theaters). I am really unclear how they can Houdini their way out of this little issue without revising what we saw happen in the last scene of the first film. This isn't to say they won't find a way around it, when your film clears $400 million globally you will write a sequel that involves time traveling penguins if you have to (hands off of Time Traveling Penguins by the way, it's going to be my first family film and will combine the big-time boner people have for penguins on screen and time travel, which will allow for wackiness...wackiness is a must). Oh, and I tried all morning to come up with something more clever than II Am Legend or I Am Legender and all I could do was Eye Am Legend, which would star Smith's eyeball, the only part of him that survived the self-inflicted grenade attack.

B-star my beating heart

What sucks only slightly less than having an awesome sci-fi show cancelled before they can deliver a satisfying finale? Making a die hard audience wait almost a year to find out how the series ends for what can only be described as no reason whatsoever. Books could be written on the Sci-Fi Channel's mismanaging of one of the single greatest television shows of all time (yes, I can defend that statement, don't make me). Thankfully, the reign of terror comes to an end shortly, as Battlestar Galactica returns to me....oh, sweet heaven. Having spent the last I-don't-know-how-long contemplating that final, jaw-dropping shot of what was the end of season 4.5 (by the way, the only show EVER to have "half-seasons," nice going Sci-Fi Channel, I guess you had to make room on the schedule for "Man-Gnat: Half-man, half-gnat, all evil"), I can only tell you that I have no idea where they go from here. I mean, forget the whole "who is the last Cylon" business (because I have no idea on that one either...although something weird tells me they're going to go super offbeat and it's going to be Cally or something), I can't imagine how they are physically going to end this. Oh, and the best part: We're getting a Battlestar prequel show...on the Sci-Fi network...oh crap. They'll likely order 12 episodes and spread them out once a year for 12 years. Anyway, the "news" of the day is below these words, the awesome-tastic preview for the final 10 episodes. Once these 10 are gone, it'll be me duty to try to convince my wife to start from the beginning and watch the series with me (she hasn't seen one yet). Yes, I have very small goals in life.

A news week so slow, I contemplate Incredible Hulk 2

Despite popular opinion which holds that the best use of the Hulk would be as the villain in the upcoming Avengers movie, the guy who played Samuel Sterns (aka, the guy who goes on to be the evil villain The Leader) told Aintitcool.com that he was signed on for 2 more movies and was expecting to play the large-domed evil-doer (seriously, if you've read the comic you know that he has the most phallic cranium ever imagined). Now, although I like Tim Blake Nelson and although he doesn't outright say that they are going to do this, they aren't going to make two more Hulk movies. First off, Norton (who was, let's go with difficult on the set of the last film) isn't necessarily guaranteed to come back, which would mean ANOTHER switch of the lead actor (compare and contrast with I Am Legend, which is so desperate they are resurrecting their character so the same guy can appear in the next movie). Second of all, the film didn't do gargantuan box office. It was more like decent, which means the chances of another one aren't high. Third, nobody cares about this series. The only reason I'm even writing about it is because I'm a completist so I had to give in to my OCD (which I caught from my wife, I swear) and give y'all a third post (despite their not being a third bit of significant news). So, sorry Mr. Blake Nelson, you aren't leadin' crap.