Quick clips for The Day Before The Night Before Christmas

When I was a kid, we used to listen to this band called The Caroleers at Christmastime. They sang the best, cheesiest, most horrifically awesome holiday music E-V-E-R. Can you thumb your nose at "10,000 Santa Clauses and Not One Gift For Me" or the cleverly disguised ploy for a puppy "I Want an Elephant For Christmas," wherein a young girl uses a brilliant negotiation strategy of working her way from an elephant down to "oh, well, I guess a puppy would be okay." Genius. Anyway, one of their best songs was "The Day Before the Night Before Christmas," which has since become an unofficial holiday for my fam. So, happy Day Before the Night Before Christmas, and remember I'll see you next week.

LISTS! LISTS! LISTS! LISTS!

As previously mentioned, the world goes all Vh1 this time of year, and starts list-ifying everything. Thankfully, today brings us a list from the only "Internet-only" reviewer I truly, honestly respect (sorry random dude who keeps sending The Reader sample critiques that sound like a collection of poster pull-quotes). That man is Devin from Chud.com, and he is such a rebel that he gives us a top 15. Oh, yeah, he's five entries more bad ass than everybody else. I've only seen about half of this list (Lord, I love the delayed-opening strategy of showing things to critics in NY, LA, and Chicago only...because who gives a flippin' Fig Newton what Middle America thinks), but everything on here seems reasonable. Let's discuss after I show you his top 10...sorry, top 15 (forgot he took movie critic Enzyte).

15.) Towelhead
14.) Funny Games
13.) Synecdoche, New York
12.) The Foot Fist Way
11.) Rachel Getting Married
10.) Burn After Reading
9.) Iron Man
8.) Timecrimes
7.) The Wackness
6.) Trick R Treat
5.) Pineapple Express
4.) Slumdog Millionaire
3.) Man on Wire
2.) Let the Right One In
1.) The Wrestler

Off the bat, I see little problems, such as the inclusion of Pineapple Express (funny, but the ending was awful), the idea that Iron Man was better than the Dark Knight (which is both a new "cool guy" trend to show you aren't blinded by the latter film's crazy popularity...and total horseshit, and that's coming from a Marvel Comics guy), and including a non-theatrically released film, Trick R Treat, is just dirty pool. Still, at the end of the day, this is a hell of a formidable list and, despite not having seen The Wrestler or Slumdog Millionaire yet, I'm eerily suspicious that some of our top spots are going to be similar. At any rate, good list from a good guy and a good site. I can't wait to do mine soon!

This is going to get sent to you 10000 times

Attention children of the 80s: You will be receiving the following video sent to you approximately 10000 in the next few days. I received it from two friends already, and both were sooooo right in sending it to me. Sometimes, technology allows us to do things that just rule. The first friend who sent this to me wondered whether it was a statement about how mechanically produced all big-budget movies are or whether it was just a love letter to 80s nostalgia. The answer is CLEARLY the latter, because the time it took was far in excess of the "no duh" nature of the former. Anyway, I'm talking about this:




There is a danger that this could depress you, both in terms of the time it took to put together and in the passion it shows for Thundercats...or in the fact that it's not real (which is the saddest thing of all). Whoever the guy is who did this, nice work. You picked a great time to get noticed too, in this slow season! CGI Snarf played by Garfield rules.

The best present of all: A remake that isn't

In this creativity-challenged era in which we live, sometimes you have to hold on to the small Christmas miracles when you find them. For example: They aren't remaking Rosemary's Baby. Oh, they were gonna. They really wanted to, but the fact that Unborn treads similar ground (poorly, by all accounts) and the fact that the producers couldn't find any writer who could "crack it," means it gets left alone. I really like the part where the guys behind the proposed film said that they shopped it around Hollywood to "the best writers" (who are always willing to take time out to discuss a shitty remake with a horror movie production company), and they couldn't figure out how it could be done. Really? Because if that's the only obstacle, give me some dough and you'll have your demon-baby script. Hell, I'll argue for casting Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and the interest in the life-parallels-art will skyrocket. Really, though, all (most) joking aside, I do admire any group who can bail on an idea because it doesn't seem right. Too often, I find myself sitting at my keyboard, typing about a movie that happened because nobody was willing to say or do just that: stop the madness. Thanks for the early present guys!

Well, that's it for now folks. You have a happy, happy holiday. Mine will be spent in Omaha and up north in Decatur, Nebraska (the single best small town in the universe) with family and loved ones (yes, sometimes those are two separate things). I won't try to get all serious on you now after goofing off for 6 months, but taking any religious overtones out of this for just a second: This is always my favorite time of year because the old is ending and the new is beginning. The slate is wiped clean in the form of new calendars, new promises, a new PRESIDENT!!! Make it count. Thanks to everyone who reads this.