Quick clips for Monday December 29
Ho, ho, holy crap you all loved Marley and Me?
Because I am smart, I did not post a prediction for the Christmas season box office, mainly because my Thanksgiving guesses were worse than Aunt Gertie's cranberry sauce (now featuring pork). However, had I posted a set of predictions, I'll be honest and say I would have had Bedtime Stories a top the list and would not have pegged the Jennifer Aniston dog movie as number one. This isn't because I care who won that particular dogfight (get it?) but because the kid factor suggested a victory for Sandler. I guess I forgot the power of Aniston almost showing her nurples dressed in just a tie on the cover of "GQ," which I guess is still being published. Oh well, you live, you learn, you never fight the power of puppy.
Here are the results:
1.) Marley and Me - $37 million weekend ($51 million total counting opening day Thursday)
Maybe I'm looking at this wrong. Maybe this isn't a ringing endorsement of Aniston's naughty bits or a celebration of the fact that America will embrace ANY (and I mean any) movie headlined by a freakin' animal. Maybe this is a show of support for Owen Wilson. I'm kidding, it's the nudie Aniston/cutie dog thing.
2.) Bedtime Stories - $28 million weekend ($38.5 million total)
Really figured the special effects combined with the Sandler would appeal to a lot more families. It didn't do bad by any means, but The Longest Yard remake opened bigger than this and that movie appealed to nobody with taste or intellect.
3.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - $27 million ($39 million total)
Okay, it's beginning to look like I'm the odd man out on this film. By no means did I trash it or give it a bad score, but I don't feel like it is worthy of a place on the top 10 films of the year list (as it has been granted on just about everybody else's lists). I mean, it really is just like Forrest Gump only slightly more artistic. Maybe it's me, but I thought it was good not great. I'm curious to see what other real people think.
4.) Valkyrie - $21.5 million ($30 million total)
So the days of Tom Cruise's domination are long gone, but this result should actually please the studio executives. I mean, the release date had been bumped all over the place, the buzz was incredibly bad, and there was the whole Cruise-as-unwanted-psycho storyline. Now comes word that the movie is fun, Cruise is appearing self-effacing on things like 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show," where he played Jimmy in a game of "Touch Your Head" and things look good. Don't listen to asshats who say this film was "a dud" or "flopped." It actually BEAT industry expectations, which had $16 million for the weekend and $20-25 million for the total (it also cost less than half of Button's production budget, so figure that in too).
5.) Yes Man - $16.5 million (Opened last week, so no 4-day total needed)
Then you have Jim Carrey's latest, which isn't a flop but isn't a comeback either. It's going to end up doing less money than Four Christmases, if that tells you anything, which it should. Speaking of that horrid, horrid film, I don't have to talk about it anymore, so SUCK IT VINCE VAUGHN!
Why can't every judge be as wise as Judge Joe Brown?
You may be on holiday break still (like me!), so I'm not going to bog you down in crazy facts and figures or bore you with the intricacies of the current legal fight regarding the copyright infringement case over Watchmen and ruin your stress-free living. However, here are the basics: (A) Fox (a studio run by asshats and clowns and clowns with asshats) had the rights to the "Watchmen" comic for a long ass time; (B) they didn't do crap with it and it was believed by all involved that the original owner of those rights was able to seek a new partner; (C) that partner was Warner Brothers, who managed to make a movie in 2 years as opposed to Fox's gazillion years of ineptitude; (D) that movie is SUPPOSED to come out in March; and (E) a judge just ruled on Christmas Day that Fox still owned the rights. Uh, what? This means that, barring some appeals shenanigans and other tomfoolery, Fox CAN do whatever the hell they want with the finished film that we're anxiously awaiting (including but not limited to changing it, barring it from release, releasing it as is and cashing in on a finished product, or dumping it entirely). Now, even money says that the two studios will just broker a deal and Fox will get money they don't deserve at all, but it's possible they could do something worse. So here's the deal, IF they tinker with the film in any way, I'm going to make at least one disparaging comment about Fox executives every day. This could involve farm animals or murder-for-hire, you just never know. Let's hope it never comes to that.
Voyage of the Yawn Treader
For the record, I actually liked Prince Caspian better than The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (aside from the climactic appearance of river Jesus, the most frightening water-based deity of them all, sorry Poseidon). However, many more of you disagreed (or actually agreed, that theory in a minute), as the box office returns for the second Narnia film were DRAMATICALLY lower (about half the global totals of the first film). Thus, Disney has pulled out of distributing and financing for the next proposed film, Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Okay, first my theory: People saw the first film because of their pent-up fandom for the book series, then hated it and didn't see the second film (despite the fact that it's better). Whether or not someone else picks up the rights to the third film remains to be seen. That said, here's what I would do. I would hire a GOOD director (not like Guillermo Del Toro or Peter Jackson good, but somebody really capable of amping up the energy and visual style) then I would combine the remaining books and make this film the last in the trilogy. I would punt the awful kid actors, get a couple of stars in there and really hang my hat on this being the final chapter in the series. The alternative is more declining returns or no movie, so this seems to be a good solution if I do say so myself, which I just did.
Because I am smart, I did not post a prediction for the Christmas season box office, mainly because my Thanksgiving guesses were worse than Aunt Gertie's cranberry sauce (now featuring pork). However, had I posted a set of predictions, I'll be honest and say I would have had Bedtime Stories a top the list and would not have pegged the Jennifer Aniston dog movie as number one. This isn't because I care who won that particular dogfight (get it?) but because the kid factor suggested a victory for Sandler. I guess I forgot the power of Aniston almost showing her nurples dressed in just a tie on the cover of "GQ," which I guess is still being published. Oh well, you live, you learn, you never fight the power of puppy.
Here are the results:
1.) Marley and Me - $37 million weekend ($51 million total counting opening day Thursday)
Maybe I'm looking at this wrong. Maybe this isn't a ringing endorsement of Aniston's naughty bits or a celebration of the fact that America will embrace ANY (and I mean any) movie headlined by a freakin' animal. Maybe this is a show of support for Owen Wilson. I'm kidding, it's the nudie Aniston/cutie dog thing.
2.) Bedtime Stories - $28 million weekend ($38.5 million total)
Really figured the special effects combined with the Sandler would appeal to a lot more families. It didn't do bad by any means, but The Longest Yard remake opened bigger than this and that movie appealed to nobody with taste or intellect.
3.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - $27 million ($39 million total)
Okay, it's beginning to look like I'm the odd man out on this film. By no means did I trash it or give it a bad score, but I don't feel like it is worthy of a place on the top 10 films of the year list (as it has been granted on just about everybody else's lists). I mean, it really is just like Forrest Gump only slightly more artistic. Maybe it's me, but I thought it was good not great. I'm curious to see what other real people think.
4.) Valkyrie - $21.5 million ($30 million total)
So the days of Tom Cruise's domination are long gone, but this result should actually please the studio executives. I mean, the release date had been bumped all over the place, the buzz was incredibly bad, and there was the whole Cruise-as-unwanted-psycho storyline. Now comes word that the movie is fun, Cruise is appearing self-effacing on things like 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show," where he played Jimmy in a game of "Touch Your Head" and things look good. Don't listen to asshats who say this film was "a dud" or "flopped." It actually BEAT industry expectations, which had $16 million for the weekend and $20-25 million for the total (it also cost less than half of Button's production budget, so figure that in too).
5.) Yes Man - $16.5 million (Opened last week, so no 4-day total needed)
Then you have Jim Carrey's latest, which isn't a flop but isn't a comeback either. It's going to end up doing less money than Four Christmases, if that tells you anything, which it should. Speaking of that horrid, horrid film, I don't have to talk about it anymore, so SUCK IT VINCE VAUGHN!
Why can't every judge be as wise as Judge Joe Brown?
You may be on holiday break still (like me!), so I'm not going to bog you down in crazy facts and figures or bore you with the intricacies of the current legal fight regarding the copyright infringement case over Watchmen and ruin your stress-free living. However, here are the basics: (A) Fox (a studio run by asshats and clowns and clowns with asshats) had the rights to the "Watchmen" comic for a long ass time; (B) they didn't do crap with it and it was believed by all involved that the original owner of those rights was able to seek a new partner; (C) that partner was Warner Brothers, who managed to make a movie in 2 years as opposed to Fox's gazillion years of ineptitude; (D) that movie is SUPPOSED to come out in March; and (E) a judge just ruled on Christmas Day that Fox still owned the rights. Uh, what? This means that, barring some appeals shenanigans and other tomfoolery, Fox CAN do whatever the hell they want with the finished film that we're anxiously awaiting (including but not limited to changing it, barring it from release, releasing it as is and cashing in on a finished product, or dumping it entirely). Now, even money says that the two studios will just broker a deal and Fox will get money they don't deserve at all, but it's possible they could do something worse. So here's the deal, IF they tinker with the film in any way, I'm going to make at least one disparaging comment about Fox executives every day. This could involve farm animals or murder-for-hire, you just never know. Let's hope it never comes to that.
Voyage of the Yawn Treader
For the record, I actually liked Prince Caspian better than The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (aside from the climactic appearance of river Jesus, the most frightening water-based deity of them all, sorry Poseidon). However, many more of you disagreed (or actually agreed, that theory in a minute), as the box office returns for the second Narnia film were DRAMATICALLY lower (about half the global totals of the first film). Thus, Disney has pulled out of distributing and financing for the next proposed film, Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Okay, first my theory: People saw the first film because of their pent-up fandom for the book series, then hated it and didn't see the second film (despite the fact that it's better). Whether or not someone else picks up the rights to the third film remains to be seen. That said, here's what I would do. I would hire a GOOD director (not like Guillermo Del Toro or Peter Jackson good, but somebody really capable of amping up the energy and visual style) then I would combine the remaining books and make this film the last in the trilogy. I would punt the awful kid actors, get a couple of stars in there and really hang my hat on this being the final chapter in the series. The alternative is more declining returns or no movie, so this seems to be a good solution if I do say so myself, which I just did.
posted by Ryan at
10:45 AM
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