Quick clips for Thursday January 22

Win some, lose some, eff the popular vote

If ever there was a week in which I would be willing to throw out the will of the people, it is a week in which Paul Blart: Mall Cop was the overwhelming people's choice at the box office (although, should Kevin James's life end on the tip of a pointed People's Choice Award, it was all worth it). Still, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are bound and determined to suck all interest out of their little song-and-dance show, leaving audiences to watch shows like the one that has that racist mom setting her kids up with skanks. Why leave The Dark Knight out in favor of The Reader, a movie so catastrophically stupid, so unfathomably reprehensible and without any scrap of merit? Why? Because it features the Holocaust, Kate Winslet's yum yums, and aging makeup. It has all the trappings of a Best Picture nominee, but on the inside its filled with dookie. This also means that, no matter how good or relevant or critically well-received a superhero film is, it can't and won't be nominated for Oscar, same for WALL-E and animated movies. That means those movies will never have the chance to join such luminaries as Shakespeare in Love, Crash, or going back a ways The Greatest Show on Earth. Seriously, you guys are dill-holes and I kind of hate you for ignoring Chris Nolan and Batman, not because I'm a nerd, but because I think you guys did it out of some misguided principle that has resulted in your ceremony being almost impossible to defend. The Reader? Shit, I could have gotten behind Gran Torino or Hotel for Dogs before that pile. Anyway, let's see how I did with my predictions and talk about the surprises.

Best Supporting Actress (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)

Amy Adams
Penelope Cruz
Viola Davis
Taraji Henson
Marisa Tomei

If there's a trend to notice, it's me getting 80% across the board. The one I didn't call was Davis, because I figured they'd go with just one from Doubt. The surprise is that the Academy (who we've addressed as being blart-tastic) saw through Mirimax's clever ruse and slapped down Winslet's argument that The Reader was her "supporting role." She was in it like 80% of the time and was the headliner. Sorry kiddo. So, not really a "surprise, surprise" but moderately intriguing.

Best Supporting Actor (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)

Josh Brolin
Robert Downey Jr
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Heath Ledger
Michael Shannon

Yeah, that last spot was wide open. Nobody thought it would go to Shannon really, but whatever. He's just about as deserving as Franco. Cool on Downey Jr though, completing his comeback year. Plus, it takes a LOT to get nominated for a comedy. Do you think this will usher in a new era of blackface? Hollywood IS a copycat town. I smell a new Kevin James movie....Most boring category on account of already knowing the winner.

Best Actress (Accuracy of prediction - 60%)

Anne Hathaway
Angelina Jolie
Melissa Leo
Meryl Streep
Kate Winslet

Well, this is Winslet's year. Finally. To me, this is the most shocking category, on account of Sally Hawking's snub. Thought for sure she'd get the nod and challenge Winslet. Without her, it's just Hathaway and Streep to worry about, and Hathaway is seen as young enough to have more chances and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MERYL STREEP NEEDS NO MORE AWARDS OF ANY KIND. EVER. She shouldn't win a politeness citation from her neighborhood watch. Enough already.

Best Actor (Accuracy of Prediction - 80%)

Richard Jenkins
Frank Langella
Sean Penn
Brad Pitt
Mickey Rourke

Okay, so I got the surprise but figured it would be Pitt left out of the race, not Eastwood. My God, does the Academy realize that they COULD have nominated Eastwood and didn't? They're going to be soooo embarrassed when they realize it.

Best Director (Accuracy of Prediction - 80%)

David Fincher
Ron Howard
Gus Van Sant
Stephen Daldry
Danny Boyle

Thankfully, this is Boyle's award. However, in the off chance that the Chris Nolan-spot stealing Stephen Daldry wins, I'm kicking his British ass. Seriously, that movie was THAT bad. It was enough to make me punch a Brit in the face.

Best Picture (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

So legitimately mad about The Dark Knight thing. The Reader just suck so very, very, very bad. Why? Why do this? Oh well, at least we all know it's going to Slumdog, right? RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!

Overall accuracy - 77%

More a testimony to the predictability than my guessing skills. I will say that our fine publication reviewed three of the Documentary nominees (Man on Wire, Trouble the Water [we even interviewed the directors], and Encounters at the End of the World [Herzog for life bitches]). As far as overall love goes, Button has 13 and Slumdog has 10 (but Slumdog will win twice as many as Button, just watch). Overall, some surprises, but not too many, should be a walk in the Slumdog park in a few weeks!

Because You Left/The Lie

Okay, here's how this is gonna work. Like it or not on this film blog, "Lost" is a part of my religion. We're going to talk about it every Thursday (and Wednesday) during the next 16 weeks. Don't like it? That's what the back button your browser is for. So, considering that if you read this blog, you probably like "Lost" (or would if you haven't seen it), get on board folks. Let's do this thing:

Previously, on "Lost":

I ain't about to go all "clip show" on you and recap the last four seasons (or even the season finale of last year, really). However, here's some things we needed to remember: (1) Jack is a pill-popping suicide enthusiast, (2) Kate be raisin' Claire's spawn Aaron, even though she done know she ain't supposedta, (3) Locke is Jeremy Benthem, an alias he used while off the island in the "real world," (4) Jeremy Benthem, aka Locke, aka baldie mcgee, aka crippidly crip is dead (ish), (5) Ben and Sayid were working together but Sayid then remembered that Ben is a big bag of douche, (6) Sayid went to rescue Hurley from the mental institution, (7) Jack wants to go back to the island, (8) Sun is pissssed about Jin turning into a human pop tart (oh yeah, Jin's a human pop tart) and blames two people for his death (more on that later), (9) the island went wooshie-gone, somewhere in time, taking with it the people who weren't on the boat, (10) my God this show is fun.

Okay, things to note about the double dip of "Because You Left" and "The Lie":

1. These were, obviously I thought, two separate episodes awkwardly wedged together in the same place (sort of like Kevin James putting on his pants...no, I'm not letting it go). The first epi was ball quakingly awesome (almost "Battlestar Galactica-esque"), the second was okay-to-good.
2. Okay, some actual stuff, Kate gets a nastygram from two lawyers (the second dude was crreeeeepppy, to the point where the first dude just refers to him as "my associate," dude, if you say someone is "your associate" that's German for "he gonna break hisself inside of your face"). They are working for "someone" (Ben) who has some interest (Ben) in having Kate run (Ben), which she did. Lord, I missed looking at Evangeline Lilly.
3. Jack and Ben form a plan of sorts, which consists of taking Locke's corpse-sicle back to the island along with the Oceanic six. Step one is, flush Jack's pills. Steps two to three look to be watch Jack sweat and yell. So, you know, the usual.
4. Meanwhile, Sayid and Hurley are running around from the cops and from Ben's people (or what we presume to be Ben's people...or Widmore's people). Whoever they were chasing the two, Sayid kills them with (favorite line of the night from Hurley) his ninja moves and spy stuff. Note: As has been mentioned by me in every recap ever, I could watch 2 hours of a show called "Sayid Kicks Your Ass." He killed a dude with a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER. You saw the knife and were like, oh, he's gonna put that knife in that guy and then, whammo, he puts the guy on many knives IN THE DISHWASHER. I love you Sayid.
5. Meanwhile, on the island we get the most answers. The island is slipping in time, as Farraday says "like a skipping record." Every so often it goes back and forth. The people on it are in the present one moment, then the past, then the future? This answers some SERIOUS stuff (more on this below) and also gave us the coolest mythology stuff of the night. Locke sees Yemi's plane crash, meets Ethan, talks to Alpert (who tells him he'll have to die to save the island), and then returns to his group in typical Locke fashion, by putting a knife in someone.
6. The only other major (and I do mean major) events and reveals were Farraday meeting Desmond again in the past (in order to try and save the redhead whose face is too small for her head from dying of time sickness) and his instructions to Desmond to go to Oxford and find Farraday's momma (who is totally the old chick that Desmond saw in his time travel shenanigans). Oh, and Ben knows her...go figure.

Okay, now onto the speculations and what I think this mess means (including some predictions)

1. First and foremost, GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW.
2. Okay, moving on. GOD I LOVE EVANGELINE LILLY.
3. Sorry, for real this time. GOD I LOVE SAYID.
4. Okay, now I'm done. The coolest thing was how they are bringing answers together but letting US do some of the work. I personally think they answered the four-toed statue last night: The island hops back and forth in time, the man-made things on the island come and go with it. When Sayid and company saw the statue, it was right around the time the sky turned purple. There you go, answer given. Also, the fact that Ben told Jack that once they go to the island they aren't coming back, that gives me the answer to the whole "Adam and Eve" bones thing. It's either Kate and Jack or Kate and Sawyer's bones they found (again, per the loopy time stuff).
5. I think it's obvious the other person Sun blames besides Ben for Jin's death is Jack (who actually is kind of to blame). So it should be fun to watch those two convince her to return to the island (sort of like convincing me to blart).

Okay, now time for some theories.

1. Theory number one: Desmond is the most central figure on the show. He's the most "special." Locke and Walt are also "special" as they were searching for them. It has to do with their ability to endure time travel. Think about it, what Walt did was always assumed to be telekinesis or something...what if it was just time travel? Going back to warn Locke after he's been shot in the gut in the grave - time travel. The predicting rain - time travel. I guess the bird thing is tougher to explain, but that could just be creepy. I think that's what the "special people" are. Plus, Jack ISN'T one of the special people. Cool, huh. Desmond is the key to the show.
2. Theory number two: By the way, how cool is the whole no flashbacks, really makes for a different show. Anyway, Doc Jensen at Entertainment Weekly pointed out how the "ghosts" like Anna Lucia and Charlie may actually be people caught in time. The idea being, if some decisions are made in the past on the island, they live. If not, they die. I like this theory a lot. So much so...I think it explains the show. They aren't in "purgatory." They're very much alive...but they shouldn't be. They SHOULD be dead, except the island saved them almost accidentally. Thus, if they are in the "real world," they throw everything off. They have to either die or return to the island. Period. Plus, I'd like to point out one major thing the show and Ben seems to have forgotten: Walt got off the island and needs to go back too.
3. Theory number three: The island is a home for wayward souls. It collects people who should otherwise die but can offer great things to the world. I predict an optimistic take on the show, the Dharma initiative being something almost positive and good, saving the world. By the way, how cool was the Marvin Candle stuff?! So great.
   

That's it for now, next Wednesday I'll do some predictions for the next episode and recaps on Thursdays. I'm living in a world with a new U2 single, Barack Obama in "Amazing Spiderman," and "Lost" and "Battlestar Galactica" back on TV. Tears. Of. Joy.