Quick clips for Wednesday January 21

But, won't the slasher just get high and forget about killing people?

I'm not ready to join the Apatow backlash train. So sue me, I actually find his movies to be funny and engaging (I mean, they're no Paul Blart: Mall Cop but what, this side of a cerebral hemorrhage, is). So color me cautiously optimistic over the news that Chud.com is reporting: Apatow is mulling over a slasher film written by Bill Hader and "SNL" writer Simon Rich. Now, before I get too excited, I would need to know which sketches Rich helped write. Are they those lame-ass ones like...oh, anything from the last episode of the show? If so, then I won't care about this movie, which Hader describes as follows: "It's partially Straw Dogs meets Halloween meets Home Alone meets Monster Squad."Damn, you know he almost had me. If he would have thrown in HBO's "Real Sex" or "Yo Gabba Gabba," I would have thrown my full weight behind it. Also, consider that he says the REAL plot involves a few REAL guys who love fake violence confronted with REAL violence. On the one hand, I love this idea (because most dudes would REALLY poo in their pants, as Hader admits in his interview). On the other...really, an Apatow film with "real dudes." Wonder if any of them will be a slightly portly stoner who needs more ambition in life. Horror comedy is a delicate balance, and I think Apatow's got the stones to pull it off, but we shall see if this comes to fruition. Chalk this one up as curiosity for the time being.

Two guys whose names you can't remember but faces you know star in movie together

You know what Richard Jenkins looks like. Honest, you do. He was the dad in that one show with the guy who is a serial killer on his new show. He was also the dad in that movie about the two mentally retarded guys who everyone finds funny but are really sad (Stepbrothers). You know Bradley Whitford too. He was in that show that got cancelled with the one guy from "Friends" who was skinny then fat then really skinny then fat then healthy then totally unfamous, you know, the one about the "SNL" show that wasn't "30 Rock." Oh, and he was in "The West Wing" with the fictional president who was the coolest president of any kind until Barack Obama. Anyway, those two guys are going to be in a movie written by Drew Goddard. You know him, he wrote that one movie with that Godzilla monster that wasn't Godzilla but in order to see non-zilla you had to wait through an hour of motion sickness. Oh, and Joss Whedon. He created "Buffy." The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that the duo will star in The Cabin in the Woods, which is the most awful title for a horror movie since Murderface (which I just made up, you can't steal it). The duo will play white-collar workers with a "connection" to the cabin. Whedon and Goddard are claiming to be spinning the predictable scenario in a new way, which I can only imagine means having people who are good at acting and talking doing non-stupid things in dangerous settings. If so, the movie will be 10 minutes long: Two minutes of the gang arriving at said cabin, one minute of something creepy happening, seven minutes of them calling the authorities on their cell phones and running as fast as they can in one direction. Movie over.

What Forrest Whitaker is going to say tomorrow

Oscar nods come tomorrow! Yay! Set your alarms for 6 in the morning...or just get up whenever and you should be able to find them AND be well rested. I'll be doing a predictions thing for the actual nominees (deciding who should win and who will win, etc) in a few weeks, but let me play prognosticator for the major categories right now and tell you who is going to get nominated (maybe). I'm not going to go into a huge discussion for each and every actor, but I will let you peek into my brain as to my thinking behind the group:

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz and Kate Winslet are shoo-ins...which leaves three spots open for takers. My money is on Tomei being recognized for showing her aging ta-tas (not that you can tell hominahomina), someone from Doubt, and the gal from Button. That would mean it would look like this (although the Doubt actress may change out):

Penelope Cruz
Kate Winslet
Marisa Tomei
Amy Adams
Taraji Henson

Best Supporting Actor

Please, we know Ledger's in. I'm going to say that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a lock too. Josh Brolin (who should be in the discussion for Best Actor for W but that's a different talk) is a likely candidate for Milk and Downey Jr is a good bet for Tropic Thunder (yay for a comedy nod)...that leaves one really. Dev Patel is getting some love, but I'm thinking James Franco may give Milk a second nod in this column. Let's go with that.

Heath Ledger
Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Josh Brolin
Robert Downey Jr
James Franco

Best Actress

Perhaps the tightest race? Streep, Winslet, and Hathaway are mortal locks. I'd put Sally Hawkins in there after her Golden Globes win. Jolie is a good bet for publicity and the only other one is Blanchett for Button. I know it's wrong, but I love Blanchett more, so we'll do that.

Meryl Streep
Kate Winslet
Anne Hathaway
Sally Hawkins
Cate Blanchett

Best Actor

We know Mickey Rourke, Sean Penn, Frank Langella, and Clint Eastwood are in. Pitt is likely here, but there's always one big surprise in a top category. I'm going to say Richard Jenkins for the visitor, just because.

Mickey Rourke
Sean Penn
Frank Langella
Clint Eastwood
Richard Jenkins

Best Director

Again, we know the shoo-ins (Danny Boyle, Ron Howard, David Fincher) and the likely (Gus Van Sant). If The Dark Knight is nominated, so too will Chris Nolan get a nod. Sam Mendes or Mike Leigh could squeeze in, but I doubt it.

Danny Boyle
Ron Howard
David Fincher
Gus Van Sant
Chris Nolan

Best Picture

And the big daddy. Three locks (Frost/Nixon, Slumdog Millionaire, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), one likely (Milk), and then the final slot...between Doubt and The Dark Knight. My gut says, Batman wins!

The Dark Knight
Milk
Frost/Nixon
Slumdog Millionaire
Button

That's my guesses...we'll see if Mr. Whitaker agrees tomorrow morning!