Friday Free-For-All
I'll admit it, I'm ready for another Red Dawn
On the whole, the world scoffs at remakes (scoff, scoff) and "reimaginings" and then goes to see them like 10 times over and quintuples the gross. I'll admit, I dog on some remakes (a lot of remakes), but that's mostly because I can't believe we are incapable of doing better things, thinking new thoughts, dreaming new dreams, leaving shitty old TV shows alone! This is one of those times I'm begrudgingly kind of cool with the remake, especially after the interview that Devin at Chud did with Carl Ellsworth, the guy who is remaking Red Dawn. Basically, what Ellsworth and Faraci discuss is (A) what the new version could possibly do that a movie featuring C. Thomas Howell couldn't, (B) how you update a story based in our fear of the Russkies (a fear I still harbor...don't ignore the sleeping red giant, for one day, it shall crush us all), and (C) how "realistic" can you possibly make this thing? The answers to these questions appear to be (A) find someone who can act, despite the sad fact that most won't go on to star in The Da Vinci Treasure like Howell, (B) make the bad guys less Russian, but still plausibly big and dominant (cough, China, cough), and (C) set it against the declining US economy, which would give someone an opportunity to nut-stomp us if they had the inclination oh dear God did he just give a roadmap for US domination? The cool thing is, the Wolverines in that movie were insurgents. Pure and simple, they were the quick-hit, improvised explosion dropping resistance, which we've kind of come to hate recently. Whereas once we identified with the revolutionary upstarts, what with you know how our country came to be, we now tend to associate with the powers that be. Oh goodness, that seems like a reasonable reason to remake something. Now, where you're going to find anybody as visually appealing as Jennifer Grey pre-nose job or Leah Thompson pre "Caroline in the City," that's beyond me, but provided they don't give us the cast of a CW show, I'm there.
Weekend Battle Plan: Step 1 - Go to the Omaha Film Festival, Step 2 - Watch the Oscars
I usually use this space to talk about the movies that have been released this week, but we're talking about Fired Up and Tyler Perry's Medea Goes to Jail. Sure, I could make a few lame-ass Fired Up is to American Pie what The Jonas Brothers are to U2 (streaming their new album at myspacemusic right now by the way....very intriguing stuff) and Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry featuring Tyler Perry as Tyler Perry, written by Tyler Perry, Produced by Tyler Perry, directed by Tyler Perry, but then what? Well, then I start talking about the Omaha Film Festival. It has been well covered by us at "The Reader" (click that funky cover story tab over to the left there), as well as by every other news site in Omaha and the surrounding areas, which is a good thing. Simply put, go to OmahaFilmFestival.org, pick the best sounding flicks, and go watch an awesome festival held locally. I could spill volumes of cyber ink recounting the badassery of what the boys have put together, but again you can get that information in any of a thousand different places. There's nothing else good at theaters, the weather isn't too bad, you have no excuse not to support this. We bitch incessantly in Omaha about how we don't get cool shit (when we're not overly praising our music scene), now's the time to put your bitchin' in the closet and get to going to the "something cool" you wish would come. Do it.
Then, when you're done, WATCH THE GD OSCARS ALREADY. You don't know how sick I am of people who are too good to watch the show. That's fine, if you would rather watch whatever else is on Sunday night television instead, have at it, but don't bitch about it, don't pretend like you don't still care about hearing who wins, and don't act like it's because "none of the right films were nominated." Do you watch the Superbowl even if your team doesn't get in? If you like movies, you watch The Oscars. You have fun picking the winners, you hope that Hugh Jackman gets off a few good one-liners (which, thanks to Ricky Gervais, he just might), you hope for upsets, you get excited about Mickey Rourke's redemption (or meltdown), and you just generally celebrate movies. "Seen any good movies lately" is an icebreaker for a reason, this medium is a staple of modern culture. So, stop whining and celebrate already. It's Oscar time. Check out my predictions HERE and tune back here (as in right here) for my take on the thing.
That's my recommendation/demand: Watch the OFF and then the Oscars...dammit.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
I'm currently streaming the new U2 album (legally, assholes) at MyspaceMusic, so nothing can make me unhappy today. I'm impervious to past previous box office prediction failures, I don't care that a Tyler Perry is going to be at the top of the charts this week, and I'm going to weep with tears of joy. Seriously, this thing will be savaged by a large group of fans who have come to think of U2 only as anthem rockers, Superbowl half-time performers, and "pop" artists who depend on singles. THIS is the album I've been waiting 18 years for (since the release of "Achtung Baby"). I could wax rhapsodic about the album (and might, somewhere, but only after listening to it about 100 more times), but know that when the first few strains of the song "Uknown Caller" came on, I thought "There it is, there it is again" and nearly cried. So. Happy. Anyway, on to the predicting stuff. Failure never felt so yummy.
Here's how I see it (or don't, you know, whatever):
1.) Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $26 million
These things have a formula and a roadmap to them. It will go as high as $30 million and as low as $20 million, so it will likely fall somewhere in between. Oh, and my favorite track on the new U2 album so far is "Moment of Surrender." It's an epic (almost 8 minutes), which I didn't think they'd do again.
2.) Friday the 13th - $19 million
I know the drop-off will be more than 50%, but given the strong holdovers lately, I'm going to go a bit more on the positive side and say it will only drop around 55% and not over 60%. Also, Bono repeats several lyrics across different songs on the album. They actually sample his "let me in the sound" from "Get On Your Boots" on two other tracks. It really gives the album some coherence.
3.) Taken - $14 million
This will pull the Liam Neeson vehicle to almost $100 million (about $98 million), which is an incredible achievement. Really, more remarkable than Blart because a comedy catching on is less rare than an action vehicle with no real stars. Oh, and I love that U2 has tracks that eclipse 6 or more minutes at least 4 times on the album. I know that radio friendly used to mean 3 and a half minutes, but we live in an age of the Internet, not radio. Plus, it holds the album itself together when a song can evolve and bridge the gaps between what came before it and what comes after.
4.) He's Just Not That Into You - $11 million
I can see Fired Up screwing me over and sneaking into this spot...but I don't think it will. My wife really wants to see this one, so I may (begrudgingly) take her, raising the total single-handedly. Also, the first vocals on "White as Snow" are practically like a hymn. In fact, I think he's following the melody of "Emmanuel" on the track. Only Bono could pull something like that off.
5.) Coraline - $9 million
As the only kids movie out right now, there's nothing to impede it's progress. Sure, that damn Fired Up could hang on to this spot...but I doubt it. Kids have gotta see something. Oh, and I've decided already (first listen) that "No Line on the Horizon" is better to me than "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb." Oh, sure, I'll sing songs from "Bomb" more often, but this is a better album. I'll stop now.
And...HUZZAH to our own Ben Coffman, whose wife delivered a bouncing baby boy last night. Congrats Ben and Lori!!!!!!
On the whole, the world scoffs at remakes (scoff, scoff) and "reimaginings" and then goes to see them like 10 times over and quintuples the gross. I'll admit, I dog on some remakes (a lot of remakes), but that's mostly because I can't believe we are incapable of doing better things, thinking new thoughts, dreaming new dreams, leaving shitty old TV shows alone! This is one of those times I'm begrudgingly kind of cool with the remake, especially after the interview that Devin at Chud did with Carl Ellsworth, the guy who is remaking Red Dawn. Basically, what Ellsworth and Faraci discuss is (A) what the new version could possibly do that a movie featuring C. Thomas Howell couldn't, (B) how you update a story based in our fear of the Russkies (a fear I still harbor...don't ignore the sleeping red giant, for one day, it shall crush us all), and (C) how "realistic" can you possibly make this thing? The answers to these questions appear to be (A) find someone who can act, despite the sad fact that most won't go on to star in The Da Vinci Treasure like Howell, (B) make the bad guys less Russian, but still plausibly big and dominant (cough, China, cough), and (C) set it against the declining US economy, which would give someone an opportunity to nut-stomp us if they had the inclination oh dear God did he just give a roadmap for US domination? The cool thing is, the Wolverines in that movie were insurgents. Pure and simple, they were the quick-hit, improvised explosion dropping resistance, which we've kind of come to hate recently. Whereas once we identified with the revolutionary upstarts, what with you know how our country came to be, we now tend to associate with the powers that be. Oh goodness, that seems like a reasonable reason to remake something. Now, where you're going to find anybody as visually appealing as Jennifer Grey pre-nose job or Leah Thompson pre "Caroline in the City," that's beyond me, but provided they don't give us the cast of a CW show, I'm there.
Weekend Battle Plan: Step 1 - Go to the Omaha Film Festival, Step 2 - Watch the Oscars
I usually use this space to talk about the movies that have been released this week, but we're talking about Fired Up and Tyler Perry's Medea Goes to Jail. Sure, I could make a few lame-ass Fired Up is to American Pie what The Jonas Brothers are to U2 (streaming their new album at myspacemusic right now by the way....very intriguing stuff) and Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry featuring Tyler Perry as Tyler Perry, written by Tyler Perry, Produced by Tyler Perry, directed by Tyler Perry, but then what? Well, then I start talking about the Omaha Film Festival. It has been well covered by us at "The Reader" (click that funky cover story tab over to the left there), as well as by every other news site in Omaha and the surrounding areas, which is a good thing. Simply put, go to OmahaFilmFestival.org, pick the best sounding flicks, and go watch an awesome festival held locally. I could spill volumes of cyber ink recounting the badassery of what the boys have put together, but again you can get that information in any of a thousand different places. There's nothing else good at theaters, the weather isn't too bad, you have no excuse not to support this. We bitch incessantly in Omaha about how we don't get cool shit (when we're not overly praising our music scene), now's the time to put your bitchin' in the closet and get to going to the "something cool" you wish would come. Do it.
Then, when you're done, WATCH THE GD OSCARS ALREADY. You don't know how sick I am of people who are too good to watch the show. That's fine, if you would rather watch whatever else is on Sunday night television instead, have at it, but don't bitch about it, don't pretend like you don't still care about hearing who wins, and don't act like it's because "none of the right films were nominated." Do you watch the Superbowl even if your team doesn't get in? If you like movies, you watch The Oscars. You have fun picking the winners, you hope that Hugh Jackman gets off a few good one-liners (which, thanks to Ricky Gervais, he just might), you hope for upsets, you get excited about Mickey Rourke's redemption (or meltdown), and you just generally celebrate movies. "Seen any good movies lately" is an icebreaker for a reason, this medium is a staple of modern culture. So, stop whining and celebrate already. It's Oscar time. Check out my predictions HERE and tune back here (as in right here) for my take on the thing.
That's my recommendation/demand: Watch the OFF and then the Oscars...dammit.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
I'm currently streaming the new U2 album (legally, assholes) at MyspaceMusic, so nothing can make me unhappy today. I'm impervious to past previous box office prediction failures, I don't care that a Tyler Perry is going to be at the top of the charts this week, and I'm going to weep with tears of joy. Seriously, this thing will be savaged by a large group of fans who have come to think of U2 only as anthem rockers, Superbowl half-time performers, and "pop" artists who depend on singles. THIS is the album I've been waiting 18 years for (since the release of "Achtung Baby"). I could wax rhapsodic about the album (and might, somewhere, but only after listening to it about 100 more times), but know that when the first few strains of the song "Uknown Caller" came on, I thought "There it is, there it is again" and nearly cried. So. Happy. Anyway, on to the predicting stuff. Failure never felt so yummy.
Here's how I see it (or don't, you know, whatever):
1.) Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $26 million
These things have a formula and a roadmap to them. It will go as high as $30 million and as low as $20 million, so it will likely fall somewhere in between. Oh, and my favorite track on the new U2 album so far is "Moment of Surrender." It's an epic (almost 8 minutes), which I didn't think they'd do again.
2.) Friday the 13th - $19 million
I know the drop-off will be more than 50%, but given the strong holdovers lately, I'm going to go a bit more on the positive side and say it will only drop around 55% and not over 60%. Also, Bono repeats several lyrics across different songs on the album. They actually sample his "let me in the sound" from "Get On Your Boots" on two other tracks. It really gives the album some coherence.
3.) Taken - $14 million
This will pull the Liam Neeson vehicle to almost $100 million (about $98 million), which is an incredible achievement. Really, more remarkable than Blart because a comedy catching on is less rare than an action vehicle with no real stars. Oh, and I love that U2 has tracks that eclipse 6 or more minutes at least 4 times on the album. I know that radio friendly used to mean 3 and a half minutes, but we live in an age of the Internet, not radio. Plus, it holds the album itself together when a song can evolve and bridge the gaps between what came before it and what comes after.
4.) He's Just Not That Into You - $11 million
I can see Fired Up screwing me over and sneaking into this spot...but I don't think it will. My wife really wants to see this one, so I may (begrudgingly) take her, raising the total single-handedly. Also, the first vocals on "White as Snow" are practically like a hymn. In fact, I think he's following the melody of "Emmanuel" on the track. Only Bono could pull something like that off.
5.) Coraline - $9 million
As the only kids movie out right now, there's nothing to impede it's progress. Sure, that damn Fired Up could hang on to this spot...but I doubt it. Kids have gotta see something. Oh, and I've decided already (first listen) that "No Line on the Horizon" is better to me than "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb." Oh, sure, I'll sing songs from "Bomb" more often, but this is a better album. I'll stop now.
And...HUZZAH to our own Ben Coffman, whose wife delivered a bouncing baby boy last night. Congrats Ben and Lori!!!!!!
posted by Ryan at
8:23 AM
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