Friday free for all
Insofar as without Eddie Murphy, we'd have no Tracy Jordan, I forgive him
The influence of Eddie Murphy on comedy in his heyday was huge. Now the best he has to offer is serving as the template for one of the funniest television characters ever. Oh, and by all reports, he's a total douchebag. Thus, it's with a grain of sand that I report the moderately interesting news that the hella-sell-out (forget Norbit, making Meet Dave makes you a motherf**ker) is going to make a biopic of Richard Pryor's life. And there was a great (minor) rejoicing (moderate interest). Look, I'm not saying there's a better way to go for this. If you're going to make a Richard Pryor biography you're going to use Eddie Murphy. It'll be R rated and allow the guy to remember what funny sounds like (when he's saying someone else's material). Also, given the way he got all Oscar feverish when Dreamgirls was getting him some good press, it's no doubt that he's going to try to get his grubby, undeserving hands all over an Oscar. Sigh. Now, I say that with all hostility now, because I'm old enough to remember cool Eddie Murphy. My first R rated movie was either 48 Hours or Beverly Hills Cop, I really can't remember which one. On my 16th birthday, we went to go see Beverly Hills Cop 3. You can see where the anger comes from. That turd hasn't made a single good movie in about 15 to 20 years and it pisses me off. Man, go back and watch "SNL" with him on it, rent Raw, or watch either of those two good films I mentioned and it becomes instantly apparent that he is uniquely gifted. And what have we gotten? His best work is the voice of an ass in Shrek. Wow. All of this grumbling and grousing means I'm bitter as hell (I'm damn near Republican-esque) and will likely rejoice in reality if it turns out he does a good job. Whatever prevents more absolute, mind-numbing, soul-crushing, evil-inspiring crap like Daddy Day Care or Dr. Doolittle I will support. Seriously, those movies were so bad, I think children who watched them may be predisposed to acts of genocide.
Weekend Battle Plan: Well, you won't be seeing a movie
With Watchmen set to gobble the second weekend gross of whatever unfortunate films are stupid enough to open before it, no studios were brave enough to spit in the face of WB's impending success (oh, please God let it be a success). That means this week you get Jonas Brothers 3D and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. Wow. California is facing serious prison space issues and are contemplating letting some lesser offenders go early. Have them watch these two movies back-to-back and their debt to society is instantly forgiven. Seeing as how the Oscars were last weekend, you have a chance this weekend to see Slumdog Millionaire and Milk if you haven't already and to continue to not see The Reader, which is the best idea you've ever had. Can we also pause a moment to figure out why 3D is necessary for the Jonas Brothers movie? Setting aside that their appearance on "SNL" a few weeks back convinced me that hearing them "act" or "talk" is second only to listening to them sing on my list of "worsts things to do with my ears that don't involve fire." In Omaha, Waltz With Bashir is at Film Streams (it's at The Ross in Lincoln, too), so there's that if you like things that are good. Other than that, dear Lord, I have no suggestions for you.
That's my recommendation: See Waltz With Bashir, any Oscar winners you haven't seen yet, or nothing...absolutely nothing.
On DVD: Don't make me laugh. Really, because my only choice for comedy is Sex Drive. A great documentary (Dear Zachary: A letter to a Son about his Father) came out. What Just Happened is interesting...but that's as far as that goes (how slow is this week? that's what I'm reviewing). Again, I don't have that much for you. I know the weather sucks, but bunker down and get through this weekend. Next weekend brings The Watchmen and we have (fairly) smooth sailing after that.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
Okay, so Madea crushed it last week. I am, sadly, impressed with that box office annihilation. Impressed, because these Tyler Perry films continue to prove the deeply loyal and large black filmgoing community is one that is just depressingly overlooked. Sad, because they are so desperate for entertainment that speaks to them that they will support anything Tyler Perry does. I know it isn't as awful as I sometimes make it sound, but really, crossdressing granny stuff just isn't good humor. Don't worry though, Tyler Perry is about to meet his/her match in the form of three beloved, mop-topped boys who are spoiling for a good time...and your love. Why you need to see a Jonas in 3D I don't understand, but that isn't for me to decide. It's for the psychos out there who have already purchased about 50% of tickets. This is going to be huge on the level of the Miley Cyrus thing that made $30 million out of nowhere. Mark my words.
Here's how I see it:
1.) Jonas Brothers 3D - $40 million
It could go higher. I know, it seems impossible, but I'm telling you it isn't. They will sell out almost every screening, they will have repeat business up their 3D wazoo, and they will easily win this week. You cannot resist the Jonai, you can only hope that most of their fans are the young girls and not the ladies with all the cats.
2.) Madea Goes to Jail - $19 million
I'm calling for a strong holdover, even though this could be way, way lower given the huge turnout the first time around. The cinemascores that the audiences have been giving it suggests that it will have strong word of mouth, but the potential interested audience can't be that much larger. I'm guessing repeat business and a lack of options will push this high.
3.) Slumdog Millionaire - $13 million
Anyone who hasn't seen it will do so now. You want to talk amazing? After this weekend, this film will be sitting at around $115 million, with the potential of adding another $25-30 million...domestically. This movie will end up with a worldwide total in excess of movies like The Incredible Hulk and other, less gaudy blockbusters. It's a massive success for a group of massively deserving individuals. Love it.
4.) Coraline - $7 million
This film is turning into a quiet little hit. The Jonai will send 3D screens away from this little gem, but it should still persevere as the only kids movie not to feature curly-haired boytoys. I'm thinking the final gross for this film will be around $65-70 million, with a great life on DVD. Again, hats off to Neil Gaiman and all involved.
5.) Taken - $6.5 million
This movie will surely fall out of the top 5 next week, but what a run it had. In the wildest dreams of all those involved, NOBODY saw it topping this high. Over $100 million easily, with a great shot at DVD rentals too. I must be in a generous mood today, giving out so much praise. Maybe it's because my iPod finally died after four years of daily use, making me realize that we don't tell the things we love that we love them enough until they die. You go Liam Neeson, I'm proud of you.
The influence of Eddie Murphy on comedy in his heyday was huge. Now the best he has to offer is serving as the template for one of the funniest television characters ever. Oh, and by all reports, he's a total douchebag. Thus, it's with a grain of sand that I report the moderately interesting news that the hella-sell-out (forget Norbit, making Meet Dave makes you a motherf**ker) is going to make a biopic of Richard Pryor's life. And there was a great (minor) rejoicing (moderate interest). Look, I'm not saying there's a better way to go for this. If you're going to make a Richard Pryor biography you're going to use Eddie Murphy. It'll be R rated and allow the guy to remember what funny sounds like (when he's saying someone else's material). Also, given the way he got all Oscar feverish when Dreamgirls was getting him some good press, it's no doubt that he's going to try to get his grubby, undeserving hands all over an Oscar. Sigh. Now, I say that with all hostility now, because I'm old enough to remember cool Eddie Murphy. My first R rated movie was either 48 Hours or Beverly Hills Cop, I really can't remember which one. On my 16th birthday, we went to go see Beverly Hills Cop 3. You can see where the anger comes from. That turd hasn't made a single good movie in about 15 to 20 years and it pisses me off. Man, go back and watch "SNL" with him on it, rent Raw, or watch either of those two good films I mentioned and it becomes instantly apparent that he is uniquely gifted. And what have we gotten? His best work is the voice of an ass in Shrek. Wow. All of this grumbling and grousing means I'm bitter as hell (I'm damn near Republican-esque) and will likely rejoice in reality if it turns out he does a good job. Whatever prevents more absolute, mind-numbing, soul-crushing, evil-inspiring crap like Daddy Day Care or Dr. Doolittle I will support. Seriously, those movies were so bad, I think children who watched them may be predisposed to acts of genocide.
Weekend Battle Plan: Well, you won't be seeing a movie
With Watchmen set to gobble the second weekend gross of whatever unfortunate films are stupid enough to open before it, no studios were brave enough to spit in the face of WB's impending success (oh, please God let it be a success). That means this week you get Jonas Brothers 3D and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. Wow. California is facing serious prison space issues and are contemplating letting some lesser offenders go early. Have them watch these two movies back-to-back and their debt to society is instantly forgiven. Seeing as how the Oscars were last weekend, you have a chance this weekend to see Slumdog Millionaire and Milk if you haven't already and to continue to not see The Reader, which is the best idea you've ever had. Can we also pause a moment to figure out why 3D is necessary for the Jonas Brothers movie? Setting aside that their appearance on "SNL" a few weeks back convinced me that hearing them "act" or "talk" is second only to listening to them sing on my list of "worsts things to do with my ears that don't involve fire." In Omaha, Waltz With Bashir is at Film Streams (it's at The Ross in Lincoln, too), so there's that if you like things that are good. Other than that, dear Lord, I have no suggestions for you.
That's my recommendation: See Waltz With Bashir, any Oscar winners you haven't seen yet, or nothing...absolutely nothing.
On DVD: Don't make me laugh. Really, because my only choice for comedy is Sex Drive. A great documentary (Dear Zachary: A letter to a Son about his Father) came out. What Just Happened is interesting...but that's as far as that goes (how slow is this week? that's what I'm reviewing). Again, I don't have that much for you. I know the weather sucks, but bunker down and get through this weekend. Next weekend brings The Watchmen and we have (fairly) smooth sailing after that.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
Okay, so Madea crushed it last week. I am, sadly, impressed with that box office annihilation. Impressed, because these Tyler Perry films continue to prove the deeply loyal and large black filmgoing community is one that is just depressingly overlooked. Sad, because they are so desperate for entertainment that speaks to them that they will support anything Tyler Perry does. I know it isn't as awful as I sometimes make it sound, but really, crossdressing granny stuff just isn't good humor. Don't worry though, Tyler Perry is about to meet his/her match in the form of three beloved, mop-topped boys who are spoiling for a good time...and your love. Why you need to see a Jonas in 3D I don't understand, but that isn't for me to decide. It's for the psychos out there who have already purchased about 50% of tickets. This is going to be huge on the level of the Miley Cyrus thing that made $30 million out of nowhere. Mark my words.
Here's how I see it:
1.) Jonas Brothers 3D - $40 million
It could go higher. I know, it seems impossible, but I'm telling you it isn't. They will sell out almost every screening, they will have repeat business up their 3D wazoo, and they will easily win this week. You cannot resist the Jonai, you can only hope that most of their fans are the young girls and not the ladies with all the cats.
2.) Madea Goes to Jail - $19 million
I'm calling for a strong holdover, even though this could be way, way lower given the huge turnout the first time around. The cinemascores that the audiences have been giving it suggests that it will have strong word of mouth, but the potential interested audience can't be that much larger. I'm guessing repeat business and a lack of options will push this high.
3.) Slumdog Millionaire - $13 million
Anyone who hasn't seen it will do so now. You want to talk amazing? After this weekend, this film will be sitting at around $115 million, with the potential of adding another $25-30 million...domestically. This movie will end up with a worldwide total in excess of movies like The Incredible Hulk and other, less gaudy blockbusters. It's a massive success for a group of massively deserving individuals. Love it.
4.) Coraline - $7 million
This film is turning into a quiet little hit. The Jonai will send 3D screens away from this little gem, but it should still persevere as the only kids movie not to feature curly-haired boytoys. I'm thinking the final gross for this film will be around $65-70 million, with a great life on DVD. Again, hats off to Neil Gaiman and all involved.
5.) Taken - $6.5 million
This movie will surely fall out of the top 5 next week, but what a run it had. In the wildest dreams of all those involved, NOBODY saw it topping this high. Over $100 million easily, with a great shot at DVD rentals too. I must be in a generous mood today, giving out so much praise. Maybe it's because my iPod finally died after four years of daily use, making me realize that we don't tell the things we love that we love them enough until they die. You go Liam Neeson, I'm proud of you.
posted by Ryan at
9:04 AM
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