Quick clips for Monday February 16
Trading up
When it was announced that the colossal douchehammers at Fox would keep Emily Blunt from becoming The Black Widow in Iron Man 2 so that she could bring joy to dozens with her role in the I-can't-believe-this-isn't-an-Eddie-Murphy movie Gulliver's Travels (starring Jack Black), it looked like we were going to see a downgrade from epic hotness to marginal cuteness. Some CW floozy or model/actress/breast enhancement commercial was going to wind up with a role as a badass assassin and promptly render it inert. Well, not so fast my Russian-lusting friends. It looks like this bye-bye Blunt thing means we may have a crack at Scarlett Johansson in full leather bodysuitohmygodmyheadjustpopped. EW.com is reporting Scar-Jo is circling the role, which is good news for all involved because (A) she hasn't made a good movie in a long time, (B) it will allow her to be hot and (potentially) cool, and (C) it could be one of the few female action parts that would reasonably lend itself to future spinoffs or appearances in other films. Despite the promise that she showed in Lost in Translation (and the insane hotness that she carries with her), Scarlett hasn't exactly been killing it out there. I mean, to be honest, she's pretty much been sucking. Whether it's her mediocre and breathy Tom Waits covers, her poor choice in projects (mmm, The Spirit), or her generally blah performances in said mediocre projects, I've been waiting for her to really cut loose. Granted, the Black Widow isn't Oscar material, but I think she needs something like this to really get rolling again popularity wise before taking on a role that will see her be a bit more "Oscarly" (yes, it's a word this week...because I said so).
In praise of Transmorphers
I will never watch a movie from Asylum entertainment (or, maybe I will, but I will never watch one sober). That said, I love that they exist. Honest, I do. Why? Because when I go to the video store with the wife and we're doing our negotiation thing (Okay, what if I consent to What Happens in Vegas, provided you concede on the Nazi zombie movie), nothing breaks the tension of the situation like "Why don't we just rent Snakes on a Train or Transmorphers?" These guys make cheap, quick, awful knock-off movies...and make enough where I figure they have to be somewhat profitable. I don't know what the audience is for Sunday School Musical or Street Racer or AVH: Alien vs Hunter, but I like that they're out there. I mean, how great is it that they make these cheesy-ass rip offs in order to make a quick film buck? Get ready for their lates, The Terminators, which follows a group of soldiers fighting against a cyborg army that has taken control of the planet. What a wholly original and clever idea?! Did I mention that it was starring the guy who was in Mallrats? They usually use C Thomas Howell, who cracks my shit up, or somebody from the CW. I think what I like is that it kind of shows the spirit of creativity and a determination to do something involving movies, even if it's a shitty low-budget rip off. I know this is not movie news or anything, but I saw a poster for The Terminators and it made me laugh. Not funny to you? Okay, try this: "Hi, my name is C Thomas Howell. I'm the star of such films as Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train." Isn't your day better now? You can rent The Terminators in April or, if you're like the rest of the world, you can not rent it in April.
Weekend Box Office: Right, wrong, I'm just glad I didn't get slashed
Okay, so I know that it technically doesn't count, but I totally called the exact number for The International. I just didn't figure Coraline would have such a strong, strong holdover. Speaking of strongly heldover, can you BELIEVE the strength of return business lately? Consider these numbers: He's Just Not That Into You dropped a mere 29%, Coraline dipped just 9%, Taken fell only 6.5%, and Blart GAINED 7.5% (what with the fine print on that contract with Mephistophales). On the one hand, I'm happy for the health of the box office, which is SOARING above previous years (still), even if the price for that success is Blart 2. On the other, I wish I could predict worth a dookie. It's so hard right now (that's what she said) that I don't even know what to do with it (that's what she said).
Here's the results:
1.) Friday the 13th - $42 million (Accuracy of prediction - 98%)
Huuuuge Friday opening...itty bitty Sunday. These horror movies have huge, built-in audiences...for a weekend. But they are a fickle lot. I don't think this crosses $100 million, but you can't complain when you double your production budget in the first 3 days. Hope you like Jason, he'll be with us for awhile.
2.) He's Just Not That Into You - $19.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)
Really nice holdover for a rom-com, which was smart thinking on the whole V-day front. Again, a longshot for $100 million, but a healthy $80 million haul and a long run on DVD is nothing to sneeze at. Despite Scar-Jo and Drew Barrymore's presence, I have yet to work up the estrogen to see this.
3.) Taken - $19 million (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)
Now this bad boy is going to CRUISE past the century club. I can't believe how well it's doing?! I mean, they would have been thrilled with a $19 million OPENING weekend, not a $19 million THIRD weekend. Wowza. Hats off to Liam Neeson. Literally, he hates hats and will eff you up if you wear one in his presence.
4.) Confessions of a Shopaholic - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 67%)
Alas, poor Isla Fisher. I thought she'd be a big star, but it looks like for the next few years it's girlfriend and wife roles for you, honey. Ugh. That's okay, we apparently hate female leads unless they also come with a billion other actors/actresses we know.
5.) Coraline - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 0%)
I'd like to point out how this happened. (1) It's from good quality people. (2) Stop motion rules. (3) This 3D thing isn't a passing fad, people love it. (4) If there's no other options, your kids movie, no matter how dark, will do money. I hope you all remember these lessons.
Overall accuracy of prediction - 66%
You know, the better the box office does, the worse I do. I don't know what that means, but that's how it goes. Still, I had a great weekend (nonmoviewise), so I don't care. Crap on me all you want Box Office Gods.
When it was announced that the colossal douchehammers at Fox would keep Emily Blunt from becoming The Black Widow in Iron Man 2 so that she could bring joy to dozens with her role in the I-can't-believe-this-isn't-an-Eddie-Murphy movie Gulliver's Travels (starring Jack Black), it looked like we were going to see a downgrade from epic hotness to marginal cuteness. Some CW floozy or model/actress/breast enhancement commercial was going to wind up with a role as a badass assassin and promptly render it inert. Well, not so fast my Russian-lusting friends. It looks like this bye-bye Blunt thing means we may have a crack at Scarlett Johansson in full leather bodysuitohmygodmyheadjustpopped. EW.com is reporting Scar-Jo is circling the role, which is good news for all involved because (A) she hasn't made a good movie in a long time, (B) it will allow her to be hot and (potentially) cool, and (C) it could be one of the few female action parts that would reasonably lend itself to future spinoffs or appearances in other films. Despite the promise that she showed in Lost in Translation (and the insane hotness that she carries with her), Scarlett hasn't exactly been killing it out there. I mean, to be honest, she's pretty much been sucking. Whether it's her mediocre and breathy Tom Waits covers, her poor choice in projects (mmm, The Spirit), or her generally blah performances in said mediocre projects, I've been waiting for her to really cut loose. Granted, the Black Widow isn't Oscar material, but I think she needs something like this to really get rolling again popularity wise before taking on a role that will see her be a bit more "Oscarly" (yes, it's a word this week...because I said so).
In praise of Transmorphers
I will never watch a movie from Asylum entertainment (or, maybe I will, but I will never watch one sober). That said, I love that they exist. Honest, I do. Why? Because when I go to the video store with the wife and we're doing our negotiation thing (Okay, what if I consent to What Happens in Vegas, provided you concede on the Nazi zombie movie), nothing breaks the tension of the situation like "Why don't we just rent Snakes on a Train or Transmorphers?" These guys make cheap, quick, awful knock-off movies...and make enough where I figure they have to be somewhat profitable. I don't know what the audience is for Sunday School Musical or Street Racer or AVH: Alien vs Hunter, but I like that they're out there. I mean, how great is it that they make these cheesy-ass rip offs in order to make a quick film buck? Get ready for their lates, The Terminators, which follows a group of soldiers fighting against a cyborg army that has taken control of the planet. What a wholly original and clever idea?! Did I mention that it was starring the guy who was in Mallrats? They usually use C Thomas Howell, who cracks my shit up, or somebody from the CW. I think what I like is that it kind of shows the spirit of creativity and a determination to do something involving movies, even if it's a shitty low-budget rip off. I know this is not movie news or anything, but I saw a poster for The Terminators and it made me laugh. Not funny to you? Okay, try this: "Hi, my name is C Thomas Howell. I'm the star of such films as Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train." Isn't your day better now? You can rent The Terminators in April or, if you're like the rest of the world, you can not rent it in April.
Weekend Box Office: Right, wrong, I'm just glad I didn't get slashed
Okay, so I know that it technically doesn't count, but I totally called the exact number for The International. I just didn't figure Coraline would have such a strong, strong holdover. Speaking of strongly heldover, can you BELIEVE the strength of return business lately? Consider these numbers: He's Just Not That Into You dropped a mere 29%, Coraline dipped just 9%, Taken fell only 6.5%, and Blart GAINED 7.5% (what with the fine print on that contract with Mephistophales). On the one hand, I'm happy for the health of the box office, which is SOARING above previous years (still), even if the price for that success is Blart 2. On the other, I wish I could predict worth a dookie. It's so hard right now (that's what she said) that I don't even know what to do with it (that's what she said).
Here's the results:
1.) Friday the 13th - $42 million (Accuracy of prediction - 98%)
Huuuuge Friday opening...itty bitty Sunday. These horror movies have huge, built-in audiences...for a weekend. But they are a fickle lot. I don't think this crosses $100 million, but you can't complain when you double your production budget in the first 3 days. Hope you like Jason, he'll be with us for awhile.
2.) He's Just Not That Into You - $19.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)
Really nice holdover for a rom-com, which was smart thinking on the whole V-day front. Again, a longshot for $100 million, but a healthy $80 million haul and a long run on DVD is nothing to sneeze at. Despite Scar-Jo and Drew Barrymore's presence, I have yet to work up the estrogen to see this.
3.) Taken - $19 million (Accuracy of prediction - 80%)
Now this bad boy is going to CRUISE past the century club. I can't believe how well it's doing?! I mean, they would have been thrilled with a $19 million OPENING weekend, not a $19 million THIRD weekend. Wowza. Hats off to Liam Neeson. Literally, he hates hats and will eff you up if you wear one in his presence.
4.) Confessions of a Shopaholic - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 67%)
Alas, poor Isla Fisher. I thought she'd be a big star, but it looks like for the next few years it's girlfriend and wife roles for you, honey. Ugh. That's okay, we apparently hate female leads unless they also come with a billion other actors/actresses we know.
5.) Coraline - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 0%)
I'd like to point out how this happened. (1) It's from good quality people. (2) Stop motion rules. (3) This 3D thing isn't a passing fad, people love it. (4) If there's no other options, your kids movie, no matter how dark, will do money. I hope you all remember these lessons.
Overall accuracy of prediction - 66%
You know, the better the box office does, the worse I do. I don't know what that means, but that's how it goes. Still, I had a great weekend (nonmoviewise), so I don't care. Crap on me all you want Box Office Gods.
posted by Ryan at
9:09 AM
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