Quick clips for Monday February 23

Redemption, Oscar be thy name

I'm going to get right to it: After two years of horrible, gut-wrenching shame, I've finally restored a modicum of honor and dignity to my name. I crushed my wife in our Oscar predictions last night. Now, I was aided by the fact that she was the one soul on earth to put Frank Langella as her guess for Best Actor (not even Frank Langella thought that Frank Langella had a chance), but a win is a win and I'll take it (more on being wrong in the box office recap below). Beyond that epic and much needed win, I was mildly surprised about a few things...but few is the key word here. Mostly, the awards went the way they were supposed to but, echoing Danny Boyle's sentiments here, I thought the whole thing was "lovely," from Jackman's goofy-ass opening song and dance, to his second and much worse song and dance (seriously, everybody sings live but Beyonce? It's official, I was on the hate-her fence and have now hopped onto the loathe-her lawn). Let's get more organized for this recap.

Ryan's Results - 18 of 24

Not too shabby when you consider that the losses were in some smaller categories (more on that later). I also got the total for Slumdog dead on at 8. I got all the majors right except Penn over Rourke (which was unnecessary, more on that later too). Overall, I'll take it.

Biggest surprises

All in the lower categories (you can't consider Penn over Rourke a shocker), but there were some stunners. First off, the Academy (gasp) got it RIGHT for Documentary (perhaps a first). Second, all of the shorts were upsets. I cannot believe that Presto lost out, even though I can see the appeal of Le Maison, which was actually the one I preferred to win (I'm not even just saying that). I was once again reminded by the Live-Action short category that you DO NOT go against Holocaust films. The big gasper of the night HAD to be Defiance stealing Best Foreign Film. NOBODY had that one coming. The collective thought seemed to be that either Waltz With Bashir should win, but that The Class could steal it, or the other way around. That one was a stunner. Oh, and the other big surprise was me winning. Did I mention that? Because I totally won the Syrek Academy Award Challenge (pronounced Chall-ANGE).

Best moments

I loved seeing Kate Winslet win (finally), even if it was for a movie so bad it shouldn't exist. Loved it when Jackman did his "I haven't seen The Reader" dance. He's so lucky. Her speech was okay, but a little too contrived for me. She was clearly concerned about the criticism leveled at her (unfairly) by her countryman for her previous speeches, which is bullshit because the lady is the best actress working these days and SHOULD have had an award by now. Sorry it had to come for crap, but glad you've got it, honey. I love, love, loved Dustin Lance Black's eloquent and beautiful promise regarding equality for gay rights. Also enjoyed Penn's rehearsed "You commie homo lovers" comment. Very nice. I also liked that he gave a shout out to Rourke. I thought the Ledger win would be in here, but it was such a foregone conclusion and the classy but tepid acceptance was ho-hum. Oh, and props to Slumdog and the crew but we all knew it was coming. Still nice to see Danny Boyle win. Made me smiley.

Best new elements of the show

Loved the very sincere acknowledgement of the actors from fellow actors. Really classy. I also loved that they kept some dance numbers in, liked the "narrative" theme of the show (building from preproduction to postproduction) and can't believe that wasn't always the order (aside from the goofy placement of the acting awards). Jackman was serviceable but practically absent.

Worst elements of the show

STOP WITH THE EFFING MONTAGES OF STUPID SHIT. "Comedies 2008" was okay because it had Rogen and Franco, who were funny. All of the others were stupid and pointless. STOP IT. Nobody likes those and it's what makes your show go over. Beyonce not singing live was incredible crappy. Other than that, can't complain really. Oh, and I'll just put this rant here: Penn over Rourke was a stupid move by the Academy. Let's set aside who deserves it, because you can argue that point back and forth until the cows come home. Two excellent performances so tightly competitive it was clearly a wash. SO YOU GO WITH THE GUY WHO NEEDS THE TROPHY. Penn didn't need another Oscar. He knows he's recognized as one of the best, and, let's face it, could give a shit. Rourke, on the other hand, isn't "back" as we've been saying. He was "almost" back. See, you don't get "back" on career track for a NOMINATION. You get back on track for a WIN. Had he won, not only would we have had a great acceptance speech, we also would have had a reborn Rourke. Squandered opportunity by the Academy.

Best/Worst dressed

I don't really have strong opinions here, but Natalie Portman was as beautiful as she's ever been. Amy Adams was gorgeous too. Robert Downey Jr looked classy and cool as hell. Nobody looked particularly terrible (other than Adrian Brody). Kind of fits the night, classy and pretty but not insanely memorable.

There you have it. The Oscars are now behind us. Very fun ceremony, nice to be back on top. I would expound on this more, but my words are tired.

Weekend Box Office: Okay, I get it, you REALLLLLY love Tyler Perry

Holy crap. I cannot get a bead on this box office this year. I mean, I figured Madea for number one, but NOBODY figured almost $45 million...that's crazy talk. I guess that this character is far more popular than the rest of Perry's films. I won't make the same mistake again, as the next Madea movie I'm projecting at eleventy billion dollars opening weekend. The other big surprise was the drop off of Friday the 13th. Sure, the holdovers for EVERYTHING else is huuuge, but when I predict such a holdover, it goes right in the crapper. It's not a surprise that a horror movie fell in the second frame, but this one was straight decapitated (get it, because it's a horror movie). I know, it's Monday, what do you want from me?

Here are the results:

1.) Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $41 million (Accuracy of prediction - 82%)

Lord, I had no idea this film would be that kind of huge. Now, the drop off in the second week will likely be epic, but when you haul in a gross like that opening weekend, who cares? These films are money machines, costing in the low teens and twenties to make and hitting almost 60-70 in a matter of weeks. I mock the man's constant obsession with putting his name out there, but apparently, this is why I'm not rich.

2.) Taken - $11.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 79%)

Soon to be the second official 2009 release to cross $100 million (Gran Torino was technically a 2008 release), this film is just crushing expectations. I don't know what copycats will look like, because this was so generic sounding and looking to begin with, but somewhere Steven Segal is saying "See, I told you" in his creepy fat guy whisper.

3.) Coraline - $11 million (Accuracy of prediction - 71%)

It won't be sold that way when the tallies are tallied, but this is having a surprisingly solid run. No, the opening weekend wasn't gigantic, but the 3D features and no opposition is allowing this non-kids, kids film to rake in some decent dough. Props to all involved, as I love them all.

4.) He's Just Not That Into You - $8.5 (Accuracy of prediction - 85%)

I think enough time has passed for me to reveal a secret about this movie: It pretends to like women but it actually hates them. The moral is apparently that women are weak-willed and easy to trick. Beware the Trojan horse romantic comedy that appears to be targeted to praise an audience but actually slaps them across the face. This is a face slapper.

5.) Slumdog Millionaire - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 0%)

I think we've discussed this one enough. I will add that this will be crossing $100 million shortly as well. Impressive for a little film like this.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 63%

I'm always slot 5 away, aren't I? Oh well, all things considered, I think I'll take the Oscar victory.