Quick clips for Thursday February 19
Marvel wants YOU (provided you work for ho-hos and bottle caps)
Okay, so in today's economy, it's not like $250,000 is anything to slouch at (or do any other form of inappropriate posture in the direction of). Still, it feels pretty low when you're talking to a guy who may win an Oscar on Sunday. Mickey Rourke, he of recent doggie-loss (rest in peace Chihuahua I'm pretty sure killed itself rather than talk to Lisa Rinna on the red carpet or perhaps after having seen what its species did with Beverly Hills Chihuhaua), he of recent career resurrection, he of strange-looking face was offered said measly amount to play a villain in Iron Man 2. He opted not to work for said low-ball amount, choosing instead to work on Sly Stallone's life-altering Expendables (more on that later...yes, every damn day if I feel like it, that's how often we talk about that work of brilliance). This is distressing, not because the success of the next movie hinges on Rourke, but because it is part of a trend. Consider that Samuel L Jackson (the first, last, and only choice to play Nick Fury) was also given an insanely low quote and has walked away (for now). Look, Marvel, I get negotiating tactics. Hell, part of me even respects you not just backing the truck up whenever asked like a helluva lot of other companies do for sequels. That said: WAKE THE FRAK UP! You have a chance (specifically with Jackson, not with Rourke) to do something never before done with comic book movies. Don't piss it away on a few million dollars that you DAMN WELL KNOW you're going to get back. Iron Man 2 is your free pass. It will make $300 million for existing. What you're playing with here is the future of your studio: Play your cards right, and you may have the next evolution of comic books (interwoven visual stories...it's not that hard to envision). Play your cards wrong, and you're looking at a lifetime of Nicholas Cage superhero movies. Oh, and you still need a villain for Iron Man 2, you can't just go with Justin Hammer (the evil weapons designer) because you tried the whole "suit-vs-suit" thing in the last movie and it was the worst part. You need a big bad guy who works, like the Crimson Dynamo (who Rourke would be perfect for). Just saying, head-out-of-ass time boys.
Your daily Expendables update
First, an apology: Yesterday when recounting the testosteronicity of the impending testicular explosion that is The Expendables, I left Randy Couture out of the mix...and he's the only guy of the bunch to have ever been good at hitting people in real life. My bad. Second, Danny Trejo (the meanest looking Hispanic man ever born) is going to join the cast. Who the hell else can possibly join this thing? (For the record, Ben tossed out Mike Tyson...he is not wrong). Sweet Jesus, the man is best known (or most fondly known) for his fake-trailer in Grindhouse where he plays "Machete," a dude who wants to put knives inside of your face. If you're having a bad day, just think about what's coming. Wife left you? Danny Trejo and Dolph Lundgren are gonna eff people up in South America. Kids in jail? Jet Li and Jason Statham are going to kick people in body parts. Home foreclosed? Schwarzenegger and Stallone are in a movie together. STD got you down? Randy Couture and Mickey Rourke have your back. If anybody but the following 10 bands does the soundtrack to this movie, there will be a revolution:
Well now, that's how you move some shit along! Just like that. You want us back on the island? Whammo, first shot, they're back on the island. Cut and print. Loves it. Pretty much everything in the first 10 minutes and the last 10 minutes last night was as good as "Lost" can be for me. Widening mysteries while still (literally) moving the story along, playing with characters that we've spent 5 years with now, so we can't help but know them well (Hey, Sayid's in handcuffs...he probably killed someone; Hey, Hurley's on the plane too...guilt must have gotten to him, probably because some ghost or figment talked to him; Hey, Kate's on the plane...she's always been a hopeless romantic and has always loved Jack and sought his love; Hey, Ben's on the plane...he probably lied, did something terrible, and will later do something terrible). I love how many questions I have, but how they are practical questions and not mythological ones. Oh, and next episode is the one I've been waiting for...AND I HOPE TO GOD THEY TELL ME WHY WALT DOESN'T HAVE TO COME BACK IN IT.
Here's what happened:
1.) In a scene ripped EXACTLY from the pilot episode, Jack opens his eyes on the island and hears screaming. He runs, and we see Hurley in the water, Jack taking a literal leap of faith to get to him, and Kate unconscious on some rocks (oh Lord, she even looks perfect comatose). They're back on the island (but where are all the others).
2.) 48 hours earlier, we see things moving quickly: Eloise explains that the station is the Lamp Post (out of CS Lewis's work...just go read Doc Jensen, I ain't covering that crap here, it's waaaay too much) and it was built to find the island by "a very clever fellow." My friend Ben (not the evil TV guy) called it: It was built by Farraday. No doubt. More on that later. She explains they use the swinging pendulum to find the island again by going through "windows" in time. They need to hop a ride on Ajira Air (we knew it) and go back...but they have to recreate as best as possible the situation. Which means Jack needs to give Locke's body something of his Dad's. Weird.
3.) Kate humps Jack.
4.) Jack is the luckiest man alive.
5.) Okay, so the majority of the middle of the episode is a bit boring, but not bad. We get old Jack back, determined to do something to help everyone, convinced his plan will work (although it hasn't ever, not one time ever, actually gone the way he intended). But things are different: We see that all this happened because Jack didn't believe. Remember the whole man of faith vs man of science? Jack was wrong, as Locke's suicide note even tells him. So, Kate ditches Aaron (but doesn't want to talk about it), Ben gets whomped on by someone (my friend Ben says it was Desmond because Ben tried to kill Penny or, worse yet, did kill Penny, noting that Evil Ben made the phone call from a marina and had threatened to off Penny earlier), Jack picks up some shoes from his Grandpa, and everybody gets on the plane.
6.) On the plane, we see a creepy dude who is clearly going to be a factor later (my guess - a Widmore guy) and the return of Frank Lupidus, who I knew was too cool to forget. I mean, sure, they punted the whole "Walt is special/Walt's in the jungle/Walt appears in dreams/Kidnap Walt" storyline, but Frank needs his story told. There's a flash (not a crash) and we end where we started, with Kate being woken up (I need that job). Interesting ending: Jin shows up and points a gun at them...WHILE WEARING A DHARMA OUTFIT.
Okay, that last part was the most interesting to me. I think that when they unstuck time (when Locke jiggled the time travel toilet handle), they got unstuck in the 1960s, when Dharma ran things. I think Farraday became a part of Dharma, built the Lamp Post for them as a way to help himself in the future (knowing others would be looking for them), and everybody is going to basically be responsible for their own fate later. A time loop that connects to itself. Mind blowing.
I am soooo excited for next week, in part because I just love watching a Locke-centric episode. I'm hoping we don't get too time-traveled out soon (as in, "but how could he know that he knew that she was going to go back and...blahblahblahblah). I'm hoping they keep it on track. For me, "Battlestar Galactica" showed me last Friday how to handle wrapping up loose ends. "Lost" has a season left, and I'm hoping they head the same way.
Okay, so in today's economy, it's not like $250,000 is anything to slouch at (or do any other form of inappropriate posture in the direction of). Still, it feels pretty low when you're talking to a guy who may win an Oscar on Sunday. Mickey Rourke, he of recent doggie-loss (rest in peace Chihuahua I'm pretty sure killed itself rather than talk to Lisa Rinna on the red carpet or perhaps after having seen what its species did with Beverly Hills Chihuhaua), he of recent career resurrection, he of strange-looking face was offered said measly amount to play a villain in Iron Man 2. He opted not to work for said low-ball amount, choosing instead to work on Sly Stallone's life-altering Expendables (more on that later...yes, every damn day if I feel like it, that's how often we talk about that work of brilliance). This is distressing, not because the success of the next movie hinges on Rourke, but because it is part of a trend. Consider that Samuel L Jackson (the first, last, and only choice to play Nick Fury) was also given an insanely low quote and has walked away (for now). Look, Marvel, I get negotiating tactics. Hell, part of me even respects you not just backing the truck up whenever asked like a helluva lot of other companies do for sequels. That said: WAKE THE FRAK UP! You have a chance (specifically with Jackson, not with Rourke) to do something never before done with comic book movies. Don't piss it away on a few million dollars that you DAMN WELL KNOW you're going to get back. Iron Man 2 is your free pass. It will make $300 million for existing. What you're playing with here is the future of your studio: Play your cards right, and you may have the next evolution of comic books (interwoven visual stories...it's not that hard to envision). Play your cards wrong, and you're looking at a lifetime of Nicholas Cage superhero movies. Oh, and you still need a villain for Iron Man 2, you can't just go with Justin Hammer (the evil weapons designer) because you tried the whole "suit-vs-suit" thing in the last movie and it was the worst part. You need a big bad guy who works, like the Crimson Dynamo (who Rourke would be perfect for). Just saying, head-out-of-ass time boys.
Your daily Expendables update
First, an apology: Yesterday when recounting the testosteronicity of the impending testicular explosion that is The Expendables, I left Randy Couture out of the mix...and he's the only guy of the bunch to have ever been good at hitting people in real life. My bad. Second, Danny Trejo (the meanest looking Hispanic man ever born) is going to join the cast. Who the hell else can possibly join this thing? (For the record, Ben tossed out Mike Tyson...he is not wrong). Sweet Jesus, the man is best known (or most fondly known) for his fake-trailer in Grindhouse where he plays "Machete," a dude who wants to put knives inside of your face. If you're having a bad day, just think about what's coming. Wife left you? Danny Trejo and Dolph Lundgren are gonna eff people up in South America. Kids in jail? Jet Li and Jason Statham are going to kick people in body parts. Home foreclosed? Schwarzenegger and Stallone are in a movie together. STD got you down? Randy Couture and Mickey Rourke have your back. If anybody but the following 10 bands does the soundtrack to this movie, there will be a revolution:
- Iron Maiden
- Winger
- AC/DC
- Ratt
- Trixter
- Warrant
- Great White
- Jackyl
- Quiet Riot
- The Ghost of Sam Kinison Screaming Over the Cries of Souls in Hell
Well now, that's how you move some shit along! Just like that. You want us back on the island? Whammo, first shot, they're back on the island. Cut and print. Loves it. Pretty much everything in the first 10 minutes and the last 10 minutes last night was as good as "Lost" can be for me. Widening mysteries while still (literally) moving the story along, playing with characters that we've spent 5 years with now, so we can't help but know them well (Hey, Sayid's in handcuffs...he probably killed someone; Hey, Hurley's on the plane too...guilt must have gotten to him, probably because some ghost or figment talked to him; Hey, Kate's on the plane...she's always been a hopeless romantic and has always loved Jack and sought his love; Hey, Ben's on the plane...he probably lied, did something terrible, and will later do something terrible). I love how many questions I have, but how they are practical questions and not mythological ones. Oh, and next episode is the one I've been waiting for...AND I HOPE TO GOD THEY TELL ME WHY WALT DOESN'T HAVE TO COME BACK IN IT.
Here's what happened:
1.) In a scene ripped EXACTLY from the pilot episode, Jack opens his eyes on the island and hears screaming. He runs, and we see Hurley in the water, Jack taking a literal leap of faith to get to him, and Kate unconscious on some rocks (oh Lord, she even looks perfect comatose). They're back on the island (but where are all the others).
2.) 48 hours earlier, we see things moving quickly: Eloise explains that the station is the Lamp Post (out of CS Lewis's work...just go read Doc Jensen, I ain't covering that crap here, it's waaaay too much) and it was built to find the island by "a very clever fellow." My friend Ben (not the evil TV guy) called it: It was built by Farraday. No doubt. More on that later. She explains they use the swinging pendulum to find the island again by going through "windows" in time. They need to hop a ride on Ajira Air (we knew it) and go back...but they have to recreate as best as possible the situation. Which means Jack needs to give Locke's body something of his Dad's. Weird.
3.) Kate humps Jack.
4.) Jack is the luckiest man alive.
5.) Okay, so the majority of the middle of the episode is a bit boring, but not bad. We get old Jack back, determined to do something to help everyone, convinced his plan will work (although it hasn't ever, not one time ever, actually gone the way he intended). But things are different: We see that all this happened because Jack didn't believe. Remember the whole man of faith vs man of science? Jack was wrong, as Locke's suicide note even tells him. So, Kate ditches Aaron (but doesn't want to talk about it), Ben gets whomped on by someone (my friend Ben says it was Desmond because Ben tried to kill Penny or, worse yet, did kill Penny, noting that Evil Ben made the phone call from a marina and had threatened to off Penny earlier), Jack picks up some shoes from his Grandpa, and everybody gets on the plane.
6.) On the plane, we see a creepy dude who is clearly going to be a factor later (my guess - a Widmore guy) and the return of Frank Lupidus, who I knew was too cool to forget. I mean, sure, they punted the whole "Walt is special/Walt's in the jungle/Walt appears in dreams/Kidnap Walt" storyline, but Frank needs his story told. There's a flash (not a crash) and we end where we started, with Kate being woken up (I need that job). Interesting ending: Jin shows up and points a gun at them...WHILE WEARING A DHARMA OUTFIT.
Okay, that last part was the most interesting to me. I think that when they unstuck time (when Locke jiggled the time travel toilet handle), they got unstuck in the 1960s, when Dharma ran things. I think Farraday became a part of Dharma, built the Lamp Post for them as a way to help himself in the future (knowing others would be looking for them), and everybody is going to basically be responsible for their own fate later. A time loop that connects to itself. Mind blowing.
I am soooo excited for next week, in part because I just love watching a Locke-centric episode. I'm hoping we don't get too time-traveled out soon (as in, "but how could he know that he knew that she was going to go back and...blahblahblahblah). I'm hoping they keep it on track. For me, "Battlestar Galactica" showed me last Friday how to handle wrapping up loose ends. "Lost" has a season left, and I'm hoping they head the same way.
posted by Ryan at
8:47 AM
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