Friday free for all
Belated Lost recap: Shutchyo mouth, we did too "learn" stuff this week
The middle of the story is the hardest (ie, most effing boring) to tell. It's all about mamby pamby bull snot like "feelings" and "character development" and "foreshadowing" (I'm just trying to see how many sarcastic quotation marks I can use...no reason for that, move along). It's easy to begin a season of "Lost" with a bang and to end it with a "Huhbuhwhat?" but the middle, that's where the tricky comes in. This week did a fine job in my opinion with a middle-of-the-roader, allowing us to have a few figure-em-out puzzles and a few nice character beats. Yes, I wish we weren't still in the midst of separated characters having to find their way to one another, but at least they aren't locked in polar bear cages.
Here's what happened this week:
1.) Another plane crashed. Seriously, it's time to stop with all the plane crashing. It was way cool the first few times. Now we've seen it enough. Stop. Anyway, Ajira Air crashes, killing the copilot and only saving everyone else because (A) Lapidus rules and (B) they were able to land on the runway that was built during Jack, Kate, and Sawyer's stay in the island of naughty others. After the crash (which crazy lady who had Sayid captive didn't seem to be freaked out by), Caeser asserts his dominance. I think they're trying to draw a parallel to Jack with him, insofar as he is emerging as a leader, but I am reminded more of Sayid. When Lapidus is like "let's build a fire," Caesar is like, "Dude, I saw buildings when we were crashing, how'sabout we check that shit out first?" Reminded me of Jack saying things like "We'll hide in a cave" and Sayid saying things like "I'm going to build a damn radio." This whole thing is oddly reminiscent of the "tail section" season 2 storyline. Hopefully, it's way more interesting.
2.) Meanwhile, in 1977, Sawyer, having found Jack Mclameplan, ole buddy Hurley, and Kate Stillwantstobangya, takes his former castaways with him back to Dharma land (after an awesome exchange with Jack, to whom Sawyer explains "we're in the Dharma Initiative"). Sawyer and Juliet pull some crazy strings and get the gang added to the manifest as "new recruits." Jack gets assigned as a janitor. Tee hee. Tension instantly emerges between hotter-than-usual Juliet and ain't-nobody-ever-gonna-be-as-hot-as Kate. They see an orientation video and then, toward the end, we have a good old fashioned (and missed) Jack vs Sawyer wang-length measuring contest. (Jack - "You're just going to sit there like a horse's ass and read a book." Sawyer - "I'm going to quote Winston Churchill, point out that I'm banging the chick you once wanted, talk about how everything is much safer than when you're not around, point out how you were a total doofus every time you made a plan WHICH NEVER, NOT ONE TIME EVER, ACTUALLY WORKED, and then tell you that you love it. Jack - "I do love it.") The coolest moment was Jack's seemingly genuinely happy look at Sawyer's assertion of being a leader.
3.) Side story - Jin "catches" Sayid. Turns out he was running around (wtf) in the jungle. When Jin goes to see Radzinsky about a possible plane crash with his wife on it (not knowing she crashed in 2007), he's forced to take Sayid in as an "other" or risk having Radzinsky freak out. Sawyer smartly (and rather enjoyably) gets Sayid to "admit" to being an other so that the terms of the truce protects him from murder. At the end of the episode, a caged Sayid meets young Ben Linus (a twist on when Sayid met a caged Ben in season 2). This, of course, is a huge revelation that Ben must have known about all of these people by the time they came to the island (again). I'm not sure how this all works out time travel wise, but it now appears that Ben DID know at least Sayid prior to "meeting" him when Ben was captured in Season 2. Uh, oh, I'm getting a time travel nosebleed (TM).
4.) Sun follows Ben to a boat that he wants to use to get to the main island. Sun clocks Ben with an oar. Nice. Sun and Lapidus go to Dharmaville, only to find it abandoned and half-exploded from the mercenary fight last season. Then they find Christian (wtf) who shows them a picture of their friends from 1977 in the Dharma Initiative. Their minds are blown. Christian then busts out "You have quite a journey ahead of you." Oh, previous to this there was the monster noise...I'm not sure if they want us to be thinking Christian = The Monster, but the thought is there.
Okay, so cool things did happen. Most notably, I think we got some kind of suggestion about how the time loopiness works, which isn't exactly what Farraday (who, by the by, is missing...my guess is he's off the island, not dead...or, better yet, he returned to the present day somehow) has said. The fact that the baby Amy had is Ethan (not Desmond, which would have been cooler...and still makes me wonder who his daddy is) means that (deep breath) the timestream that the castaways found themselves in the beginning of the show is the same one they are in now. Basically, Ethan couldn't have been born unless Sawyer saved Amy, which he did by going back in time. Thus, because Ethan was alive and tormenting far before the point at which Sawyer went back in time to save Amy, they were operating in a timestream that had ALREADY had that happen. Of course, the other way to look at it is that fate course-corrects for these things and had Sawyer not showed up, something else would have saved Amy. I don't think so though, I think this is the first sign that the time loop they're in has been going since the beginning. Also, whatever the hell is up with Christian is just so compelling...OH and somebody somewhere (I don't remember where) pointed out that Richard Alpert is what Locke and Christian are: A dead guy. That makes sense, huh.
Next week's episode should begin ramping up the steam a bit. At least I hope so. Sorry this was late, I promise to do better next time (not that you can punish me, I just have shame).
Weekend battle plan: Ohmygod you have CHOICES!!!!
In what can only be described as a total error, America has been given an option as to what to see this weekend. You have I Love You Man, a Paul Rudd comedy (I know that Jason Segal is in it, but mentioning him is like giving nuget top billing in a candy bar over chocolate). You have Duplicity, a brainy version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith without gunplay but with added witty banter (and America's former sweetheart Julia Roberts). And you have Knowing, the most troubling film of the bunch. See, back when this movie was supposed to be done by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko), I was thrilled. Then I heard Alex Proyas was coming on... I love Proyas. Yep, you heard me. He did The Crow (loves it) and Dark City (perhaps on the top 10 all-time sci-fi project list...Roger Ebert agrees!). His only misfire was I, Robot, a watchable movie that now appears to have been corrupted heavily by the assclowns at F**ks Studios. So, cool idea (a time capsule with numbers that predict the future), a cool director, how do you mess it up? Nic. Cage. This douchehammer has been so heavily and thoroughly sucking that I want him referred to as Nic "The Vacuum" Cage. That said, Roger Ebert has praised Knowing, dishing out a four-star review. So really, even though it's the most conflicted choice, how do you not want to investigate further?
That's my recommendation: Take your mom to Duplicity, your buddies to I Love You Man, and your doubt to Knowing. Any way you slice it, a nice weekend.
On DVD: When you have good choices in the theater, you usually have shite on DVD. Speaking of shite on DVD, Twilight hits DVD tomorrow. Yes, on a Saturday. That way the morons who think the books/movie are good can go to midnight release parties without having to miss school the next day. If you rent this movie I hate you. Seriously. You have to know it's crap by now. I'll give a marginal pass if you read the books (because reading should be encouraged, even if it's horse crap writing), but there's no excuse for watching this. None. My DVD recommendation is that you DO NOT WATCH TWILIGHT. Dammit.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
Last week was a fluke. We all know it. Hitting in 93% is something I'll remember for as long as I live (or at least until tomorrow...God I hope I didn't just doom myself to death tomorrow). I am, as always, going to take valiant stab again at such a number and...it's possible. I think the top 5 are clear, but I do think that the positioning is going to be tricky (that's what she said). The hard part is going to be figuring out if Nic Cage has what it takes to rise to the top (that's what she said) or whether Paul Rudd is just too damn good to be beat (that's what she said) or, more complicated still, whether adults will make Duplicity a surprise smash (nobody said that).
Here's how I see it:
1.) I Love You Man - $20 million
Given the openings of R-rated comedies these days, the fortuitous timing of Role Models on DVD, the love of America for any (and I mean ANY) comedy these days, and the undeniable power of Paul Rudd's cheekbones, I'm going to say that this hits number one. The only threat, and I'm not shitting you here, is the NCAA tournament. This film is obviously targeting the testoster-crowd, which means March Madness may actually affect the totals (and Knowing's total). Still, I think there's time to both watch crazy basketball and getcher laugh on.
2.) Knowing - $17 million
It's going to be really close between this film and Race for Witch Mountain, which isn't going to have a big fallout. I'm thinking that the non-stop effects reel that is the trailer for this film is going to sway some people who love some destructo-movies. Could this flop like most Cage movies lately? You bet your sweet bippy. I just think the marketing was well played.
3.) Race for Witch Mountain - $16.5 million
To reiterate, it wouldn't surprise me if this whole list was in a crazy different order. I can totally see Duplicity and this flick shooting to the top because of the tournament sucking away dudes (really not making the "she said" joke here). Still, I think that this represents a huge holdover and to do better would mean that women aren't interested in Paul Rudd or global destruction and that's just crazy.
4.) Duplicity - $15 million
Roberts just isn't the draw she used to be, Clive Owen never was a draw, and the previews (while Oceans 11 like) don't suggest action or outright sex. That means you'll get a nice adult crowd who will see the movie over several weekends but not pack it in the first weekend. Then again, I do remember Gran Torino's big wide first weekend take. Who knows?
5.) Watchmen - $8 million
At least it crosses $100 million. Really, don't feel bad for this movie. Lots of us will buy it on DVD, it will break even with international box office, and it was never going to be a franchise anyway. I still like it, I don't care what others say. I'm an individual like that.
The middle of the story is the hardest (ie, most effing boring) to tell. It's all about mamby pamby bull snot like "feelings" and "character development" and "foreshadowing" (I'm just trying to see how many sarcastic quotation marks I can use...no reason for that, move along). It's easy to begin a season of "Lost" with a bang and to end it with a "Huhbuhwhat?" but the middle, that's where the tricky comes in. This week did a fine job in my opinion with a middle-of-the-roader, allowing us to have a few figure-em-out puzzles and a few nice character beats. Yes, I wish we weren't still in the midst of separated characters having to find their way to one another, but at least they aren't locked in polar bear cages.
Here's what happened this week:
1.) Another plane crashed. Seriously, it's time to stop with all the plane crashing. It was way cool the first few times. Now we've seen it enough. Stop. Anyway, Ajira Air crashes, killing the copilot and only saving everyone else because (A) Lapidus rules and (B) they were able to land on the runway that was built during Jack, Kate, and Sawyer's stay in the island of naughty others. After the crash (which crazy lady who had Sayid captive didn't seem to be freaked out by), Caeser asserts his dominance. I think they're trying to draw a parallel to Jack with him, insofar as he is emerging as a leader, but I am reminded more of Sayid. When Lapidus is like "let's build a fire," Caesar is like, "Dude, I saw buildings when we were crashing, how'sabout we check that shit out first?" Reminded me of Jack saying things like "We'll hide in a cave" and Sayid saying things like "I'm going to build a damn radio." This whole thing is oddly reminiscent of the "tail section" season 2 storyline. Hopefully, it's way more interesting.
2.) Meanwhile, in 1977, Sawyer, having found Jack Mclameplan, ole buddy Hurley, and Kate Stillwantstobangya, takes his former castaways with him back to Dharma land (after an awesome exchange with Jack, to whom Sawyer explains "we're in the Dharma Initiative"). Sawyer and Juliet pull some crazy strings and get the gang added to the manifest as "new recruits." Jack gets assigned as a janitor. Tee hee. Tension instantly emerges between hotter-than-usual Juliet and ain't-nobody-ever-gonna-be-as-hot-as Kate. They see an orientation video and then, toward the end, we have a good old fashioned (and missed) Jack vs Sawyer wang-length measuring contest. (Jack - "You're just going to sit there like a horse's ass and read a book." Sawyer - "I'm going to quote Winston Churchill, point out that I'm banging the chick you once wanted, talk about how everything is much safer than when you're not around, point out how you were a total doofus every time you made a plan WHICH NEVER, NOT ONE TIME EVER, ACTUALLY WORKED, and then tell you that you love it. Jack - "I do love it.") The coolest moment was Jack's seemingly genuinely happy look at Sawyer's assertion of being a leader.
3.) Side story - Jin "catches" Sayid. Turns out he was running around (wtf) in the jungle. When Jin goes to see Radzinsky about a possible plane crash with his wife on it (not knowing she crashed in 2007), he's forced to take Sayid in as an "other" or risk having Radzinsky freak out. Sawyer smartly (and rather enjoyably) gets Sayid to "admit" to being an other so that the terms of the truce protects him from murder. At the end of the episode, a caged Sayid meets young Ben Linus (a twist on when Sayid met a caged Ben in season 2). This, of course, is a huge revelation that Ben must have known about all of these people by the time they came to the island (again). I'm not sure how this all works out time travel wise, but it now appears that Ben DID know at least Sayid prior to "meeting" him when Ben was captured in Season 2. Uh, oh, I'm getting a time travel nosebleed (TM).
4.) Sun follows Ben to a boat that he wants to use to get to the main island. Sun clocks Ben with an oar. Nice. Sun and Lapidus go to Dharmaville, only to find it abandoned and half-exploded from the mercenary fight last season. Then they find Christian (wtf) who shows them a picture of their friends from 1977 in the Dharma Initiative. Their minds are blown. Christian then busts out "You have quite a journey ahead of you." Oh, previous to this there was the monster noise...I'm not sure if they want us to be thinking Christian = The Monster, but the thought is there.
Okay, so cool things did happen. Most notably, I think we got some kind of suggestion about how the time loopiness works, which isn't exactly what Farraday (who, by the by, is missing...my guess is he's off the island, not dead...or, better yet, he returned to the present day somehow) has said. The fact that the baby Amy had is Ethan (not Desmond, which would have been cooler...and still makes me wonder who his daddy is) means that (deep breath) the timestream that the castaways found themselves in the beginning of the show is the same one they are in now. Basically, Ethan couldn't have been born unless Sawyer saved Amy, which he did by going back in time. Thus, because Ethan was alive and tormenting far before the point at which Sawyer went back in time to save Amy, they were operating in a timestream that had ALREADY had that happen. Of course, the other way to look at it is that fate course-corrects for these things and had Sawyer not showed up, something else would have saved Amy. I don't think so though, I think this is the first sign that the time loop they're in has been going since the beginning. Also, whatever the hell is up with Christian is just so compelling...OH and somebody somewhere (I don't remember where) pointed out that Richard Alpert is what Locke and Christian are: A dead guy. That makes sense, huh.
Next week's episode should begin ramping up the steam a bit. At least I hope so. Sorry this was late, I promise to do better next time (not that you can punish me, I just have shame).
Weekend battle plan: Ohmygod you have CHOICES!!!!
In what can only be described as a total error, America has been given an option as to what to see this weekend. You have I Love You Man, a Paul Rudd comedy (I know that Jason Segal is in it, but mentioning him is like giving nuget top billing in a candy bar over chocolate). You have Duplicity, a brainy version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith without gunplay but with added witty banter (and America's former sweetheart Julia Roberts). And you have Knowing, the most troubling film of the bunch. See, back when this movie was supposed to be done by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko), I was thrilled. Then I heard Alex Proyas was coming on... I love Proyas. Yep, you heard me. He did The Crow (loves it) and Dark City (perhaps on the top 10 all-time sci-fi project list...Roger Ebert agrees!). His only misfire was I, Robot, a watchable movie that now appears to have been corrupted heavily by the assclowns at F**ks Studios. So, cool idea (a time capsule with numbers that predict the future), a cool director, how do you mess it up? Nic. Cage. This douchehammer has been so heavily and thoroughly sucking that I want him referred to as Nic "The Vacuum" Cage. That said, Roger Ebert has praised Knowing, dishing out a four-star review. So really, even though it's the most conflicted choice, how do you not want to investigate further?
That's my recommendation: Take your mom to Duplicity, your buddies to I Love You Man, and your doubt to Knowing. Any way you slice it, a nice weekend.
On DVD: When you have good choices in the theater, you usually have shite on DVD. Speaking of shite on DVD, Twilight hits DVD tomorrow. Yes, on a Saturday. That way the morons who think the books/movie are good can go to midnight release parties without having to miss school the next day. If you rent this movie I hate you. Seriously. You have to know it's crap by now. I'll give a marginal pass if you read the books (because reading should be encouraged, even if it's horse crap writing), but there's no excuse for watching this. None. My DVD recommendation is that you DO NOT WATCH TWILIGHT. Dammit.
Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions
Last week was a fluke. We all know it. Hitting in 93% is something I'll remember for as long as I live (or at least until tomorrow...God I hope I didn't just doom myself to death tomorrow). I am, as always, going to take valiant stab again at such a number and...it's possible. I think the top 5 are clear, but I do think that the positioning is going to be tricky (that's what she said). The hard part is going to be figuring out if Nic Cage has what it takes to rise to the top (that's what she said) or whether Paul Rudd is just too damn good to be beat (that's what she said) or, more complicated still, whether adults will make Duplicity a surprise smash (nobody said that).
Here's how I see it:
1.) I Love You Man - $20 million
Given the openings of R-rated comedies these days, the fortuitous timing of Role Models on DVD, the love of America for any (and I mean ANY) comedy these days, and the undeniable power of Paul Rudd's cheekbones, I'm going to say that this hits number one. The only threat, and I'm not shitting you here, is the NCAA tournament. This film is obviously targeting the testoster-crowd, which means March Madness may actually affect the totals (and Knowing's total). Still, I think there's time to both watch crazy basketball and getcher laugh on.
2.) Knowing - $17 million
It's going to be really close between this film and Race for Witch Mountain, which isn't going to have a big fallout. I'm thinking that the non-stop effects reel that is the trailer for this film is going to sway some people who love some destructo-movies. Could this flop like most Cage movies lately? You bet your sweet bippy. I just think the marketing was well played.
3.) Race for Witch Mountain - $16.5 million
To reiterate, it wouldn't surprise me if this whole list was in a crazy different order. I can totally see Duplicity and this flick shooting to the top because of the tournament sucking away dudes (really not making the "she said" joke here). Still, I think that this represents a huge holdover and to do better would mean that women aren't interested in Paul Rudd or global destruction and that's just crazy.
4.) Duplicity - $15 million
Roberts just isn't the draw she used to be, Clive Owen never was a draw, and the previews (while Oceans 11 like) don't suggest action or outright sex. That means you'll get a nice adult crowd who will see the movie over several weekends but not pack it in the first weekend. Then again, I do remember Gran Torino's big wide first weekend take. Who knows?
5.) Watchmen - $8 million
At least it crosses $100 million. Really, don't feel bad for this movie. Lots of us will buy it on DVD, it will break even with international box office, and it was never going to be a franchise anyway. I still like it, I don't care what others say. I'm an individual like that.
posted by Ryan at
8:43 AM
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