Quick clips for Monday March 30
Before we get to blogging, a quick schedule note: Those of you who know me know that, in addition to my 9-5, in addition to my movie reviews/blogs/TV spots/radio gig, and in addition to my personal life (stop laughing), I pretty much dedicate all of my time to the University of Nebraska at Omaha Forensics Team (speech, not autopsy stuff). My wife is the coach there, and I put about as much time for free into that as I do into everything else that pays me. Well, this week is our national tournament. We travel to beautiful and scenic Akron, Ohio (is it beautiful? Scenic?) to compete with the best in the nation. I will, thus, be pretty tied up from this Wednesday through next Tuesday. Does that mean absolutely no blogs? Possibly. But Ben has been contemplating chipping in on a few, should he be so moved, and I may poke my head in whilst busy as hades in Akron. I make no promises, but you've been warned.
Oh, one last note before we get on with the show...be sure to check out The Reader this week because Ben and I had a hand in some of the April Fool's writing. I'm particularly pleased with our contributions this year, so be sure to drop in and check it out. Now, on with the rumor mongering and blogging.
Perfect 10 to be perfect IO
Gemma Arterton got me blood a'boilin' in Quantum of Solace. She played Strawberry Fields, the smokin' hot assistant who Bond bags while covered in someone else's blood (that's how manly 007 is, ladies love him even when covered in human body paint). She had a smaller role, apparently because some moron thought all new Bond girls have to have accents, but I'll be seeing more of her (please let that be literally) in the upcoming remake of Clash of the Titans, which I remain on-the-fence about. Every time I think I'm about ready to get 100% excited about it (on account of my mad-on for Greek mythology in general and cool Greek myth monster shit in specific), I remember how beloved the original is to me. From Harry Hamlin to the blissful Ray Harryhausen effects, I almost don't want to see a new one. That said, this is the kind of remake that makes sense, as reinterpreting myths is just about the oldest kind of "remakes" around. I feel kind of like I'm cheating on Harryhausen by being excited for a remake of one of his films...even though part of me thinks the big guy would be somewhat pleased by it. I think he was such a proponent of effects development that he wouldn't care his work was being redone. So, nevermind, I'm going to be excited about it. Plus, things get a lot easier when you point out I'll be seeing Gemma Arterton on the big screen. Seriously, she's this crazy blend of adorable/sultry...she's adultry...wait.
Blind rage, local style
My friend Andrew forwarded me this link to a story about a woman right here in Nebraska (Millard to be precise) who is a total subhuman moron. The only thing more insanely stupid than her "story" is KETV's decision to cover it. KETV is, for the most part, dead to me now. For those who haven't clicked on the link, Physha Svendsen is upset that her son, who is six, read a Spiderman graphic novel with "sexual undertones." Those sexual undertones? Mary Jane Watson in a bikini. So, she was basically offended by something you can see in greater detail by going to the local pool on a Saturday afternoon or, you know, ever watching television on any local station for any length of time ever. Let's talk about this for a moment here. Fact one: The comic itself is labeled as PG (meaning it isn't recommended for those under 12). Even though the story points out that good old Physha "actively participates in her children's education" (let's hope that extends past spelling, given her first name), she certainly didn't seem to be actively participating in what he checked out of the library. Fact two: This kind of knee-jerk overreaction is exactly what makes Nebraska look stupid. IT'S A DRAWING OF A GIRL IN A BIKINI. Are you insane...do you need me to tell you what the word insane means? Fact three: Hey, KETV, I know that there's a limited number of personal interest stories in town for you to bilk emotion out of, but consider spending time on our growing murder rate or just give me another 4 hours of effing weather reporting (I think there's a cloud somewhere over Broken Bow, so I'd interrupt programming). Don't effing give morons like this a voice! She WANTS ATTENTION. She wants to "crusade" against something. You know what, that same comic she's protesting would possibly have been the gateway to get her son interested in reading. Kiss that goodbye. Now he'll probably name his son Crysstopher some day. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have the right to say "hey, I'm not comfortable with you reading that, junior, let's read this instead." I'm saying your yap stays shut past that and you don't go book-burning comics and talking to the GD news about "sexual undertones." Lady, you are everything I hate about small-minded people. And, to reiterate it once more, KETV blows for making this non-story into something shown on television. In a related story, I'm offended by the sexual undertones of Brandi Peterson, who did her hair real pretty the other day. I won't rest until she's off the air.
Box Office Results: Trifecta!
How is it possible that I have strung together three weeks wherein I included all of the top 5 films in my predictions? Could it be my deal with the dark lord? Possibly. More than likely it has to do with my incredible attention to detail and slavish work. No, probably the Satan thing. This week saw a huge opening, a few nice holdovers (methinks from parents dropping the little ones off at Monsters versus Aliens before heading to more adult lands), and not one crazy surprise...just the way I like it. I won't be doing a prediction for this weekend, on account of the travel mentioned above, but let's face it, that's a good thing because there ain't no way I was going 4-for-4.
Here's how it went:
1.) Monsters versus Aliens - $58 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)
Dare I say this was a..MONSTER opening? Okay, I won't because it wasn't really. It was definitely good and right within the range of industry experts, but it wasn't a phenomenon. It will hang well for the next few weeks though and has a chance at $200 million (plus the whole DVD thing, so it's gonna be major profitable). Plus (spoiler alert) Ben really liked it. He talked up the kid's movie to me this morning and the joy of 3D nowadays. So, there's a spoonful of joy for your Monday morning.
2.) A Haunting in Connecticut - $23 million (Accuracy of prediction - 85%)
Really? This deserved $23 million? This didn't deserve $2.30. I am perpetually amazed at the loyalty of horror movie fans. You don't need "good" you just need to know that you're supposed to go. Seriously, if you can get funding at about $10 million for a horror flick, you can automatically double it. It's the easiest money making method in this economy.
3.) Knowing - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 73%)
Iiiiiinteresting. I figured that the dropoff would be precipitous for this one, what with the mixed word of mouth and generally negative reviews. But this fall of about 40% may indicate that, gasp, people like sci-fi. I like Alex Proyas and I want to see him get to keep making movies, so this is a great vote of confidence. I don't know for sure what the budget was, but this flick will likely rake in somewhere near $75 million total and a nice chunk on DVD, so it's gonna make some money. Give the man another gig (Proyas, not Cage).
4.) I Love You, Man - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 86%)
Don't let it's placing fool you, this thing dropped less than 30% from the previous week and has a good chance at getting near that $70 million range as most "adult" comedies these days. You know my Rudd lovin' ass is in favor of that.
5.) Duplicity - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)
As expected, a drop of less than 50% indicates this could still be a pretty profitable endeavor...but am I the only one who thinks we may be watching the twilight of Julia Roberts' career?
Overall accuracy of prediction - 88%
I can barely believe how well I've been doing lately. I impress me. Happy Monday!
Oh, one last note before we get on with the show...be sure to check out The Reader this week because Ben and I had a hand in some of the April Fool's writing. I'm particularly pleased with our contributions this year, so be sure to drop in and check it out. Now, on with the rumor mongering and blogging.
Perfect 10 to be perfect IO
Gemma Arterton got me blood a'boilin' in Quantum of Solace. She played Strawberry Fields, the smokin' hot assistant who Bond bags while covered in someone else's blood (that's how manly 007 is, ladies love him even when covered in human body paint). She had a smaller role, apparently because some moron thought all new Bond girls have to have accents, but I'll be seeing more of her (please let that be literally) in the upcoming remake of Clash of the Titans, which I remain on-the-fence about. Every time I think I'm about ready to get 100% excited about it (on account of my mad-on for Greek mythology in general and cool Greek myth monster shit in specific), I remember how beloved the original is to me. From Harry Hamlin to the blissful Ray Harryhausen effects, I almost don't want to see a new one. That said, this is the kind of remake that makes sense, as reinterpreting myths is just about the oldest kind of "remakes" around. I feel kind of like I'm cheating on Harryhausen by being excited for a remake of one of his films...even though part of me thinks the big guy would be somewhat pleased by it. I think he was such a proponent of effects development that he wouldn't care his work was being redone. So, nevermind, I'm going to be excited about it. Plus, things get a lot easier when you point out I'll be seeing Gemma Arterton on the big screen. Seriously, she's this crazy blend of adorable/sultry...she's adultry...wait.
Blind rage, local style
My friend Andrew forwarded me this link to a story about a woman right here in Nebraska (Millard to be precise) who is a total subhuman moron. The only thing more insanely stupid than her "story" is KETV's decision to cover it. KETV is, for the most part, dead to me now. For those who haven't clicked on the link, Physha Svendsen is upset that her son, who is six, read a Spiderman graphic novel with "sexual undertones." Those sexual undertones? Mary Jane Watson in a bikini. So, she was basically offended by something you can see in greater detail by going to the local pool on a Saturday afternoon or, you know, ever watching television on any local station for any length of time ever. Let's talk about this for a moment here. Fact one: The comic itself is labeled as PG (meaning it isn't recommended for those under 12). Even though the story points out that good old Physha "actively participates in her children's education" (let's hope that extends past spelling, given her first name), she certainly didn't seem to be actively participating in what he checked out of the library. Fact two: This kind of knee-jerk overreaction is exactly what makes Nebraska look stupid. IT'S A DRAWING OF A GIRL IN A BIKINI. Are you insane...do you need me to tell you what the word insane means? Fact three: Hey, KETV, I know that there's a limited number of personal interest stories in town for you to bilk emotion out of, but consider spending time on our growing murder rate or just give me another 4 hours of effing weather reporting (I think there's a cloud somewhere over Broken Bow, so I'd interrupt programming). Don't effing give morons like this a voice! She WANTS ATTENTION. She wants to "crusade" against something. You know what, that same comic she's protesting would possibly have been the gateway to get her son interested in reading. Kiss that goodbye. Now he'll probably name his son Crysstopher some day. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have the right to say "hey, I'm not comfortable with you reading that, junior, let's read this instead." I'm saying your yap stays shut past that and you don't go book-burning comics and talking to the GD news about "sexual undertones." Lady, you are everything I hate about small-minded people. And, to reiterate it once more, KETV blows for making this non-story into something shown on television. In a related story, I'm offended by the sexual undertones of Brandi Peterson, who did her hair real pretty the other day. I won't rest until she's off the air.
Box Office Results: Trifecta!
How is it possible that I have strung together three weeks wherein I included all of the top 5 films in my predictions? Could it be my deal with the dark lord? Possibly. More than likely it has to do with my incredible attention to detail and slavish work. No, probably the Satan thing. This week saw a huge opening, a few nice holdovers (methinks from parents dropping the little ones off at Monsters versus Aliens before heading to more adult lands), and not one crazy surprise...just the way I like it. I won't be doing a prediction for this weekend, on account of the travel mentioned above, but let's face it, that's a good thing because there ain't no way I was going 4-for-4.
Here's how it went:
1.) Monsters versus Aliens - $58 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)
Dare I say this was a..MONSTER opening? Okay, I won't because it wasn't really. It was definitely good and right within the range of industry experts, but it wasn't a phenomenon. It will hang well for the next few weeks though and has a chance at $200 million (plus the whole DVD thing, so it's gonna be major profitable). Plus (spoiler alert) Ben really liked it. He talked up the kid's movie to me this morning and the joy of 3D nowadays. So, there's a spoonful of joy for your Monday morning.
2.) A Haunting in Connecticut - $23 million (Accuracy of prediction - 85%)
Really? This deserved $23 million? This didn't deserve $2.30. I am perpetually amazed at the loyalty of horror movie fans. You don't need "good" you just need to know that you're supposed to go. Seriously, if you can get funding at about $10 million for a horror flick, you can automatically double it. It's the easiest money making method in this economy.
3.) Knowing - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 73%)
Iiiiiinteresting. I figured that the dropoff would be precipitous for this one, what with the mixed word of mouth and generally negative reviews. But this fall of about 40% may indicate that, gasp, people like sci-fi. I like Alex Proyas and I want to see him get to keep making movies, so this is a great vote of confidence. I don't know for sure what the budget was, but this flick will likely rake in somewhere near $75 million total and a nice chunk on DVD, so it's gonna make some money. Give the man another gig (Proyas, not Cage).
4.) I Love You, Man - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 86%)
Don't let it's placing fool you, this thing dropped less than 30% from the previous week and has a good chance at getting near that $70 million range as most "adult" comedies these days. You know my Rudd lovin' ass is in favor of that.
5.) Duplicity - $8 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)
As expected, a drop of less than 50% indicates this could still be a pretty profitable endeavor...but am I the only one who thinks we may be watching the twilight of Julia Roberts' career?
Overall accuracy of prediction - 88%
I can barely believe how well I've been doing lately. I impress me. Happy Monday!
posted by Ryan at
8:14 AM
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