Quick clips for Tuesday March 17
Linda Hamilton able to find room in her schedule for Terminator: Salvation
Whew...I mean, given her busy schedule of, um, pilates and "Real Housewives of New York" marathons, Linda Hamilton finally found the time to agree to do voiceover work in the new Terminator movie. No lie, she had to "read the script" first. Really? Really, Linda Hamilton, your career is at the point where you still "read the script" first? Here's how your life should be going right now. "Linda? Hi, we'd like you to..." "Yes" "But I haven't gotten to the..." "Yes" "But there's a large amount of makeup and prosthetics involved and..." "Yes" "But the bear can get slippery and..." "Yes" I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Linda and I wish she had a bigger career. She doesn't. That means when you have a chance to reprise the one role anybody remembers (okay, Ron Perlman remembers you in "Beauty in the Beast" but he was the Beast), you do it. You don't ask how much, you don't delay and "read the script," you do it and hope that it leads to some video game incarnation of you that you get to voice over. Wow. I'm grumpy today, can you tell? I know I said that my domination in the box office prediction over the weekend would guarantee a week of love and laughter, but that only took me right up to about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. Sorry about that. Happy St. Patty's Day, go get drunk so you find me tolerable again.
Things to do other than write
Harlan Ellison remains my secret favorite author. Oh, yes, I WANT it to be Margaret Atwood (my second favorite) because she's more literary and (frankly) more important. I would even settle for Michael Chabon, Jonathon Lethem, or Dave Eggers. All lies. My favorite author is Ellison the asshole, who writes mind-blowing short stories when he isn't douching it up in various ways. He used to be so prolific that he would sit in a bookstore, have a famous person make up a title, and then write a story in one sitting on his typewriter in front of people and everyone who spent a certain amount that day in the story got a copy. Now he just rants on a blog I can't believe he has and sues people. Sigh. According to Variety, Ellison is still hopping mad about the most famous (or infamous now) episode of the original "Star Trek" series, "The City on the Edge of Forever." Whereas he was once pissed about how much they changed it, he's now pissed about how much they have used stuff from it and used the episode itself without giving him money. Now, ostensibly this is also about the role of the WGA and the bastardness of the producers...but this may also be more about Ellison wielding his douche hammer. See, he likes to get really pissy about people "infringing on his genius" but a lot of times it's just grandstanding. Really, this is a roundabout way for me to say two thoughts I've been thinking for awhile: (1) WHY ISN'T HE WRITING MORE STUFF?! I want to read NEW Ellison so bad! (2) You should go read Ellison's work. Check out "Angry Candy" or "Slippage" today. You'll be happy you did. Or not, what do I care. Yep, the grump is back in me, but I'm not suing you.
Spiderman Japanese
If anything could make me happier on this day, it would be a Japanese version of Spiderman finally released to the Internet for our viewing pleasure. If he could just fight some crazy stupid monsters and look like a weird blend of a ninja and a rave kid, that would help. Oh, and if the music was total 70s porn music that couldn't hurt. The following came from an era when Marvel comics was more concerned with promoting a global brand and characters than making every last effing dime they could in every possible way. Who knows how many countless millions in the Asian world were exposed to Spidey in this way (sure, it was LSD Spidey, but whatever). Did that account for high grosses for the later Spider films? Sure. More companies need to think about it like that: Spread some free love (hee hee) for your products to make people willing to pay for them later. In that spirit, here's some free insan-o Spidey for your asses.
Doesn't that rule?
Whew...I mean, given her busy schedule of, um, pilates and "Real Housewives of New York" marathons, Linda Hamilton finally found the time to agree to do voiceover work in the new Terminator movie. No lie, she had to "read the script" first. Really? Really, Linda Hamilton, your career is at the point where you still "read the script" first? Here's how your life should be going right now. "Linda? Hi, we'd like you to..." "Yes" "But I haven't gotten to the..." "Yes" "But there's a large amount of makeup and prosthetics involved and..." "Yes" "But the bear can get slippery and..." "Yes" I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Linda and I wish she had a bigger career. She doesn't. That means when you have a chance to reprise the one role anybody remembers (okay, Ron Perlman remembers you in "Beauty in the Beast" but he was the Beast), you do it. You don't ask how much, you don't delay and "read the script," you do it and hope that it leads to some video game incarnation of you that you get to voice over. Wow. I'm grumpy today, can you tell? I know I said that my domination in the box office prediction over the weekend would guarantee a week of love and laughter, but that only took me right up to about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. Sorry about that. Happy St. Patty's Day, go get drunk so you find me tolerable again.
Things to do other than write
Harlan Ellison remains my secret favorite author. Oh, yes, I WANT it to be Margaret Atwood (my second favorite) because she's more literary and (frankly) more important. I would even settle for Michael Chabon, Jonathon Lethem, or Dave Eggers. All lies. My favorite author is Ellison the asshole, who writes mind-blowing short stories when he isn't douching it up in various ways. He used to be so prolific that he would sit in a bookstore, have a famous person make up a title, and then write a story in one sitting on his typewriter in front of people and everyone who spent a certain amount that day in the story got a copy. Now he just rants on a blog I can't believe he has and sues people. Sigh. According to Variety, Ellison is still hopping mad about the most famous (or infamous now) episode of the original "Star Trek" series, "The City on the Edge of Forever." Whereas he was once pissed about how much they changed it, he's now pissed about how much they have used stuff from it and used the episode itself without giving him money. Now, ostensibly this is also about the role of the WGA and the bastardness of the producers...but this may also be more about Ellison wielding his douche hammer. See, he likes to get really pissy about people "infringing on his genius" but a lot of times it's just grandstanding. Really, this is a roundabout way for me to say two thoughts I've been thinking for awhile: (1) WHY ISN'T HE WRITING MORE STUFF?! I want to read NEW Ellison so bad! (2) You should go read Ellison's work. Check out "Angry Candy" or "Slippage" today. You'll be happy you did. Or not, what do I care. Yep, the grump is back in me, but I'm not suing you.
Spiderman Japanese
If anything could make me happier on this day, it would be a Japanese version of Spiderman finally released to the Internet for our viewing pleasure. If he could just fight some crazy stupid monsters and look like a weird blend of a ninja and a rave kid, that would help. Oh, and if the music was total 70s porn music that couldn't hurt. The following came from an era when Marvel comics was more concerned with promoting a global brand and characters than making every last effing dime they could in every possible way. Who knows how many countless millions in the Asian world were exposed to Spidey in this way (sure, it was LSD Spidey, but whatever). Did that account for high grosses for the later Spider films? Sure. More companies need to think about it like that: Spread some free love (hee hee) for your products to make people willing to pay for them later. In that spirit, here's some free insan-o Spidey for your asses.
Doesn't that rule?
posted by Ryan at
8:57 AM
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