Quick clips for Tuesday March 24
Let me get mad at the right one
I haven't gotten around to buying Let the Right One In on DVD yet. I will, just so I have a copy of one of the best films in recent memory (and one of my favorite foreign films ever), but apparently I'm going to have to do what Devin at Chud.com is doing and waiting for the collective head-from-ass surgery that must take place. Apparently, as noted by Devin, the gang at Slashfilm.com, and by my friend Andrew, who knew that I couldn't stand by and let more terrible things happen to vampiric Swedes, the DVD has turned the sophisticated subtitles into an episode of "According to Jim." Yep, they dumbed down the subtitles to avoid "confusion" (which nobody had). Now, I'm not sure what half-witted d-bag is responsible for this decision, but you can see the damage yourself here and here. The problem is, nobody seems to know from whence this change came. I mean, surely they didn't think they were going to be able to reel in the guy about to rent Role Models, who at the last second went, "Nope. I'm going with the emotionally challenging and sparse Swedish vampire movie that's really a metaphor for turmoil in adolescence. Screw seeing people taking a nut shot, I want to feel dammit." Then, you dazzle them with the brilliance of your dumbed down, "Two and a Half Men" dialogue. See, anybody who already saw the movie in theaters loved it and talked about how brilliant it was. So...making the dumbtitles basically was the equivalent of taking out the thing that people enjoyed about your movies. Coming soon from these decision makers: Candy without that "sweet taste," football without legs or arms, and music made solely from humming out of noses. Really hope this was one guy's dumbass decision and not a studio-wide choice. That would be depressing.
One day, I'll stop posting about The Expendables...this is not that day
Like me, you probably rise and fall each day wondering about the state of Expendables, a movie that cannot possibly have the knees to bear the weight of expectations being placed on it. That, and why the hell Kurt Russell isn't in it. I mean, let's face it, he's become the poor man's Dennis Quaid, a position recently held by Dennis Quaid. What the hell else could he have to do these days, right? Nobody's knocking down his doors to star in the remake of The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. Please don't let anybody remake The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes just because I mentioned it. Anyway, it turns out that Sly Stallone mentioned on his site (Stallonezone...how have I not mentioned that before) that he had the same Tango and Cash reunion boner...but that Russell stomped on it. Going so far as to basically accuse Russell of "big-timing" Sly, the note suggests that Russell's agent said he's "not looking to do ensemble work" right now. HA. Why would he? I mean, Kurt Russell is the biggest box office star in the world. Hell, his name is so full of power that just repeating it seven times in a row allows you to lift a car. If you are about to take a test and don't remember the answers, just fill in the name Kurt Russell into all the answers and you'll automatically get an A. I could keep going, but it would just belabor the point that both JCVD and Kurt Russell are idiots who don't know their station in life. They're missing out on a chance to get SOME kind of press, as opposed to their normal no kind of press.
This is not an omen...keep saying that to yourself Zack Snyder
So far, Mr. Snyder has been a very smart fella. He angled his work on Dawn of the Dead to get 300, used 300's huge explodified box office to do Watchmen, and used Watchmen (pre-release) to set up his next pic, Sucker Punch, a female-driven action fantasy starring Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Evan Rachel Wood, and Emma Stone. It was SUPPOSED to be toplined by Amanda Seyfried (from Mamma Mia! and being really good looking fame), but she just bowed out due to "scheduling conflicts." Yep, she's on a TV show ("Big Love") and that could well be to blame. I hope it is...I hope this is not the sign of people detaching from Snyder's star. See, whether it is or isn't, Watchmen is being seen as a flop-ish endeavor. Personally, I think it was an impressive coup from Snyder just getting it made, so consider that. But if the project loses it's lead, the budget comes under fire because he apparently can't poo $300 million movies at will, and things get delayed...we could be looking at Snyder moving from "visionary director" to "McG." I really don't want this to happen, if for no other reason than his visuals are just fantastic. I mean, he really gets how to bring a whole world to life and that's a valuable commodity. I think maybe he should try something a little more tame soon, just to get his head in the right place and ego in check, but I really hope Seyfried's departure isn't a sign of things to come. Plus, she was going to play a character called Baby Doll and was going to look all hot. We're all losing here.
I haven't gotten around to buying Let the Right One In on DVD yet. I will, just so I have a copy of one of the best films in recent memory (and one of my favorite foreign films ever), but apparently I'm going to have to do what Devin at Chud.com is doing and waiting for the collective head-from-ass surgery that must take place. Apparently, as noted by Devin, the gang at Slashfilm.com, and by my friend Andrew, who knew that I couldn't stand by and let more terrible things happen to vampiric Swedes, the DVD has turned the sophisticated subtitles into an episode of "According to Jim." Yep, they dumbed down the subtitles to avoid "confusion" (which nobody had). Now, I'm not sure what half-witted d-bag is responsible for this decision, but you can see the damage yourself here and here. The problem is, nobody seems to know from whence this change came. I mean, surely they didn't think they were going to be able to reel in the guy about to rent Role Models, who at the last second went, "Nope. I'm going with the emotionally challenging and sparse Swedish vampire movie that's really a metaphor for turmoil in adolescence. Screw seeing people taking a nut shot, I want to feel dammit." Then, you dazzle them with the brilliance of your dumbed down, "Two and a Half Men" dialogue. See, anybody who already saw the movie in theaters loved it and talked about how brilliant it was. So...making the dumbtitles basically was the equivalent of taking out the thing that people enjoyed about your movies. Coming soon from these decision makers: Candy without that "sweet taste," football without legs or arms, and music made solely from humming out of noses. Really hope this was one guy's dumbass decision and not a studio-wide choice. That would be depressing.
One day, I'll stop posting about The Expendables...this is not that day
Like me, you probably rise and fall each day wondering about the state of Expendables, a movie that cannot possibly have the knees to bear the weight of expectations being placed on it. That, and why the hell Kurt Russell isn't in it. I mean, let's face it, he's become the poor man's Dennis Quaid, a position recently held by Dennis Quaid. What the hell else could he have to do these days, right? Nobody's knocking down his doors to star in the remake of The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. Please don't let anybody remake The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes just because I mentioned it. Anyway, it turns out that Sly Stallone mentioned on his site (Stallonezone...how have I not mentioned that before) that he had the same Tango and Cash reunion boner...but that Russell stomped on it. Going so far as to basically accuse Russell of "big-timing" Sly, the note suggests that Russell's agent said he's "not looking to do ensemble work" right now. HA. Why would he? I mean, Kurt Russell is the biggest box office star in the world. Hell, his name is so full of power that just repeating it seven times in a row allows you to lift a car. If you are about to take a test and don't remember the answers, just fill in the name Kurt Russell into all the answers and you'll automatically get an A. I could keep going, but it would just belabor the point that both JCVD and Kurt Russell are idiots who don't know their station in life. They're missing out on a chance to get SOME kind of press, as opposed to their normal no kind of press.
This is not an omen...keep saying that to yourself Zack Snyder
So far, Mr. Snyder has been a very smart fella. He angled his work on Dawn of the Dead to get 300, used 300's huge explodified box office to do Watchmen, and used Watchmen (pre-release) to set up his next pic, Sucker Punch, a female-driven action fantasy starring Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Evan Rachel Wood, and Emma Stone. It was SUPPOSED to be toplined by Amanda Seyfried (from Mamma Mia! and being really good looking fame), but she just bowed out due to "scheduling conflicts." Yep, she's on a TV show ("Big Love") and that could well be to blame. I hope it is...I hope this is not the sign of people detaching from Snyder's star. See, whether it is or isn't, Watchmen is being seen as a flop-ish endeavor. Personally, I think it was an impressive coup from Snyder just getting it made, so consider that. But if the project loses it's lead, the budget comes under fire because he apparently can't poo $300 million movies at will, and things get delayed...we could be looking at Snyder moving from "visionary director" to "McG." I really don't want this to happen, if for no other reason than his visuals are just fantastic. I mean, he really gets how to bring a whole world to life and that's a valuable commodity. I think maybe he should try something a little more tame soon, just to get his head in the right place and ego in check, but I really hope Seyfried's departure isn't a sign of things to come. Plus, she was going to play a character called Baby Doll and was going to look all hot. We're all losing here.
posted by Ryan at
9:18 AM
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