Quick clips for Wednesday April 22
Sony fears the Reds
Judge me all you want to film community (who largely doesn't know I exist), specifically all of the guys I now follow on Twitter (by the way...you should totally follow us on Twitter, we're @thereaderfilm) ... but I don't have a Blu-Ray player. Why? Well, because I don't want a PS3 (barely having time to play the Wii and X-Box 360 is enough, thanks), and because the damn things are to expensive for my cheap ass. I'm trying to buy a house, and dropping serious coin to see every nostril hair in Jake Gyllenhaal's schnoz isn't a priority. Okay, so it is, but I was hoping to hold out until it got more affordable. Well, well, well...we all know that technology has a douchebag of a mark-up (second only to fine jewelry, which is why she gets none of that and I don't get none of the former), and the Blu-Ray makers whose names you know (Sony, por ejemplo) have tried to keep that profit margin high. Until now. Gizmodo has revealed that the Red Army is going to change everything, as Chinese makers are going to unveil a $99 Blu-Ray. Now we're talking. Oh, I'm not going to buy one of those, but the fact that they're hitting THAT price mark, means I can buy a good name brand one for around $120 or so at Christmas time. See, it turns out that if you're willing to look the other way on basic humanitarian rights and state-funded genocide, you get some kick-ass electronics at reasonable prices. It's just like Jesus would have wanted, and how I'll be celebrating his birthday.
Muppet boner
My wife turns to me the other day and says "You've been talking about the Muppets a lot." (A) What the sweet, dripping hell is wrong with that? (B) There is no limit to the amount one can talk about the Muppets. Their complex social commentary, insightful and whimsical embrace of all that is right in the world, and blistering wit represent every bit of progress we've made as humans. (C) Say one bad word about Fozzie Bear and it's over. I don't know what's given me my sudden Muppet boner (which, by the way, should be trademarked), but I'm riding it for all it's worth...wait. Anyway, the latest joy brought into my life was buy some guy who mashed the Muppets and Ocean's 11, something that brings me far more joy than it should.
Now, if you haven't heard, Jason Segal has been entrusted with bringing these lovable rugs back to the big screen in style. He certainly has the passion and love to do it, which is good, but he also shows his penis on screen a lot, which is bad. Point is, look at what joy someone can create with used footage and a separate soundtrack. Do us proud, young Jason, do us proud.
Look me in the eye and tell me this is good
Several people I know, respect, and even love have told me they like the "Twilight" book series, even if they are a bit suspect on the movie. After fighting the urge to both vomit and run (at the same time...which isn't as fun as it sounds0, I usually slowly forgive them. Really, they're just into vampires and romance. I get it. I happen to like both things too, just done well. You know, it's like I enjoy hamburger and pudding, but not together. At any rate, I need to be specific, because while I'm willing to forgive people who like the books (hell, reading IS fun-damental), I will not forgive those who love the movies. I won't. I can't. Why? Well, although I'm not reposting this photo, you should check it out. Now, tell me that looks intriguing or appealing to you. If it does you are (A) a pedophile, (B) recently cured of blindness and just happy to be seeing anything, (C) a relative of one of these poor, unfortunate souls, or (D) too busy eating paste to explain why. The true, honest reason why this shit offends me to my core of hate is because of how much I love sci-fi/fantasy/horror related stuff. See, when there's shit like this that's widely consumed by the masses, it BECOMES people's perceptions of what ALL of this is like. So, my Grandma and my cousins and strangers I meet at the store while wearing some nerd-related item look at me and think "I bet he likes that Twilight movie." This happens, it really does. So, you see, much like when "Heroes" went from "okay, but fun" to "sweet Jesus the writers for this show have started eating their own poop," it took a bunch of mainstream Americans down with them, leading them to believe ALL superhero stuff is like that. Anyway, go back, look at the picture and tell me you don't get my hate. THEY SPRAY PAINTED ABS ON 17-YEAR OLDS. Blerg.
Judge me all you want to film community (who largely doesn't know I exist), specifically all of the guys I now follow on Twitter (by the way...you should totally follow us on Twitter, we're @thereaderfilm) ... but I don't have a Blu-Ray player. Why? Well, because I don't want a PS3 (barely having time to play the Wii and X-Box 360 is enough, thanks), and because the damn things are to expensive for my cheap ass. I'm trying to buy a house, and dropping serious coin to see every nostril hair in Jake Gyllenhaal's schnoz isn't a priority. Okay, so it is, but I was hoping to hold out until it got more affordable. Well, well, well...we all know that technology has a douchebag of a mark-up (second only to fine jewelry, which is why she gets none of that and I don't get none of the former), and the Blu-Ray makers whose names you know (Sony, por ejemplo) have tried to keep that profit margin high. Until now. Gizmodo has revealed that the Red Army is going to change everything, as Chinese makers are going to unveil a $99 Blu-Ray. Now we're talking. Oh, I'm not going to buy one of those, but the fact that they're hitting THAT price mark, means I can buy a good name brand one for around $120 or so at Christmas time. See, it turns out that if you're willing to look the other way on basic humanitarian rights and state-funded genocide, you get some kick-ass electronics at reasonable prices. It's just like Jesus would have wanted, and how I'll be celebrating his birthday.
Muppet boner
My wife turns to me the other day and says "You've been talking about the Muppets a lot." (A) What the sweet, dripping hell is wrong with that? (B) There is no limit to the amount one can talk about the Muppets. Their complex social commentary, insightful and whimsical embrace of all that is right in the world, and blistering wit represent every bit of progress we've made as humans. (C) Say one bad word about Fozzie Bear and it's over. I don't know what's given me my sudden Muppet boner (which, by the way, should be trademarked), but I'm riding it for all it's worth...wait. Anyway, the latest joy brought into my life was buy some guy who mashed the Muppets and Ocean's 11, something that brings me far more joy than it should.
Now, if you haven't heard, Jason Segal has been entrusted with bringing these lovable rugs back to the big screen in style. He certainly has the passion and love to do it, which is good, but he also shows his penis on screen a lot, which is bad. Point is, look at what joy someone can create with used footage and a separate soundtrack. Do us proud, young Jason, do us proud.
Look me in the eye and tell me this is good
Several people I know, respect, and even love have told me they like the "Twilight" book series, even if they are a bit suspect on the movie. After fighting the urge to both vomit and run (at the same time...which isn't as fun as it sounds0, I usually slowly forgive them. Really, they're just into vampires and romance. I get it. I happen to like both things too, just done well. You know, it's like I enjoy hamburger and pudding, but not together. At any rate, I need to be specific, because while I'm willing to forgive people who like the books (hell, reading IS fun-damental), I will not forgive those who love the movies. I won't. I can't. Why? Well, although I'm not reposting this photo, you should check it out. Now, tell me that looks intriguing or appealing to you. If it does you are (A) a pedophile, (B) recently cured of blindness and just happy to be seeing anything, (C) a relative of one of these poor, unfortunate souls, or (D) too busy eating paste to explain why. The true, honest reason why this shit offends me to my core of hate is because of how much I love sci-fi/fantasy/horror related stuff. See, when there's shit like this that's widely consumed by the masses, it BECOMES people's perceptions of what ALL of this is like. So, my Grandma and my cousins and strangers I meet at the store while wearing some nerd-related item look at me and think "I bet he likes that Twilight movie." This happens, it really does. So, you see, much like when "Heroes" went from "okay, but fun" to "sweet Jesus the writers for this show have started eating their own poop," it took a bunch of mainstream Americans down with them, leading them to believe ALL superhero stuff is like that. Anyway, go back, look at the picture and tell me you don't get my hate. THEY SPRAY PAINTED ABS ON 17-YEAR OLDS. Blerg.
posted by Ryan at
9:04 AM
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