Friday free for all

Fear the teddy bear

Giving the appropriate credit for this rumor is going to involve a lot of linking. So let the linking begin. Slashfilm.com is reporting that UpcomingPixar found a post on Pixar Collector that confirms the new character in Toy Story 3. Oh yeah, I'm going this far around to get to a Toy Story 3 spoiler. Deal with it. Anyway, the character is this guy:

His name is Lotso (supposedly) and he will destroy you. As Pixar is prone to doing, the chubby purple crusher of dreams (but excellent cuddler) was sneaked in as an Easter Egg in the preview for Up, which I'm sad to have not watched already like all the other online movie guys who are way cooler than me. Pixar is known for their Easter Egging, just check out Slashfilm's WALL-E Easter Egg post, and is also known for thinking outside the box. Chances are, if Dreamworks had made the movie...HA (sorry, the thought of them making a film as emotionally sophisticated and clever as Toy Story would be like a toddler splitting the atom). Anyway, if they had made the series, we would likely be seeing some kind of obvious/stereotypical villain. Like, we'd have an iPod that was all evil or something (I guess it would insist on playing that one song you regret having put on your iPod over and over again when you put the thing on shuffle...I get the piss jitters just thinking about that). Instead, the gang who made me weepy-eyed during the last installment may have found a clever way to flip-the-script, with a stuffed animal bad guy. I can't wait for his Randy Newman song "I Hug to Kill." By the way, we all know that stuffed animals are the home for the souls of executed convicts, right? Look in their eyes, you know I'm right.

Weekend battle plan: TERMINATOR SALVATION WILL EAT YOUR SOUL

I know you will see it anyway, so I don't even know why I bothered putting that in all caps (I even went to the lengths of holding down the shift key, not just caps locking it...that's how concerned I am that you're going to see this movie). People are saying that it's (and I'm going to make up a quote here) "a fun summer movie." Those people must think that falling into a vat of baby poop is "fun." There's no joy in that movie. None at all. There's no awesome action shots, not one single "hey, we did it, we escaped the killer robot/blew up the whatchamajigger/procreated with Bryce Dallas Howard" moment. It is joyless and devoid of intellect. Seriously, when you've seen it, let me know and I'll tell you the top three dumbest things about it. Oh, and when defending it, remember that you're defending a movie written by the guys who wrote Catwoman and directed by McG. Let that wash over you. I'm also not recommending that you go out and see Night at the Museum, because you may not want to be permanently sterile. Seriously, how you gonna do Darth Vader like that. I know it's not the literal character from the movie, but between this and the last time he was on the big screen screaming "NOOOOOOOOO" at the end of Revenge of the Sith, I'm thinking he's gone from "greatest bad guy of all time" to just "minor douche." Sadface. So, what do you do this weekend besides spend time outside grillin' and chillin' (or in my case, moving....ugggh), well...make this Indie week (or small movie week). By now, you've likely seen Star Trek (maybe twice...once in IMAX) and Angels & Demons and this week's releases are underwhelming, so use this pause in the summer to get your film lover on and see something smaller. In some areas, The Brothers Bloom is out. In others, I think Moon is playing. In Omaha, Film Streams has Paris 36. Find SOMETHING small and see it.

That's my recommendation: Use the pause to see something non-blockbustery.

On DVD: I'm going to go ahead and give the nod to Valkyrie, if for no other reason that Bryan Singer has earned that right after X2 and The Usual Suspects. Sure, it's basically a well-cast History Channel movie, but come on...NAZIS are blown up and shot at and stuff. More than that, it's kind of the type of thriller that works better just watching it on DVD. I'm not saying you HAVE to watch this, but if you want a DVD recommendation, that's it.

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

We all know the top four movies, that much is a given. I'm going to have to use the Wild Card option more than likely this weekend (can't decide if people will go for the turd bird that is Dance Flick or Wolverine? I know, that's something to really spend time worrying about. Okay, so unless I hear objections (cue sounds of crickets chirping) we're going to be doing Haikus every time out on these box office things. I don't really offer that much insight anyway. Oh, and this will be for the whole 4-day weekend (Memorial Day rules) and not the mamby-pamby Fri-Sun shit.

Here's how I see it.

1.) Terminator Salvation - $73 million

The guys who wrote this
also wrote the Catwoman movie.
They must be stopped now.

2.) Night at the Museum 2 - $69 million

Same things happen here.
Still not funny in my book.
Et tu Jonah Hill?

3.) Star Trek - $35 million

This movie still rules.
Dare I say it's box office
lives long and prospers?

4.) Angels and Demons - $21 million

This one has issues.
Totals won't near Da Vinci.
If only I cared.

5.) Dance Flick - $11 million

Another spoof flick?
The Wayans won't go away.
People still see these?

WILDCARD - Wolverine - $10.5 million

Won't top $200
Still, for a movie that leaked
Not exactly bad.

That's it. I won't be blogging Monday and you won't be reading it anyway. See you on Tuesday, when I'll be sore from moving!