Quick clips for Monday May 18
Wake me for Boggle: The Movie
Let's get something straight here; I like board games. I like them so much that they were among the first parcels transported to my new home. They have a place all picked out for them. I play them often. I just realized that I've gone too far in defending my pro-board game position and now sound like a loser who would conceivably dress-up to play live-action versions of "Clue." (Psst, I totally would). That said, I do not need to see movie versions of board games. To further elaborate: No one needs to see movie versions of board games. Don't be pulling the whole "people said the same thing about movies based on theme park rides and look how good Pirates was." (A) It had Johnny Depp. (B) It had effing pirates; if Geena Davis isn't involved, ANYONE can make a good movie with pirates. (C) Talk to me after the Rock's take on Tomorrowland (yep, seriously). As far as board games go, were I kept in the dark for the rest of eternity regarding what shape and or form an adaption of Candyland would resemble, my soul would rest each night on a puffy cloud without worry. And yet, today brings news from multiple outlets that Peter Berg is in talks to direct Battleship. Now, on the one hand it seems like a good opportunity to have a naval action movie (if only there were other sources available for the basis of a naval action movie, like say the last 2000 years of human experience). I, however, am holding out hope that it will actually follow the board game, and involve people sounding bored to death calling out numbers and letters for two hours. Think of the thrill when Marlon Wayons calls out B28 and Ashton Kutcher says "you sunk my tugboat." Why do I think there's some photoshopped version of Ashton and Marlon "sinking tugboats" already online somewhere. Anyway, happy Monday, here's a board game movie!
The A-Team gets a team
That title is just sad, but I'm tired enough to not give a squirt. Joe Carnahan is making The A-Team movie. He's like the seventh bastard to try. How hard can it be? They're a group of former soldiers who shoot out the tires and engines of random bad guys for innocent and troubled folks. I mean, they're making a goddamn Battleship movie, and you can't get the A-Team together? Reportedly, Common is in negotiations to play BA Baracus (that's Common the rapper/actor [raptor], not Common the adjective). Also, word on the street (that's a metaphor, I would have no idea what happens "on the street" I heard it through IESB) is that Bradley Cooper may be playing Face (that's Face the character, not Face the body part). This makes Bradley a hot Internet property, with him being rumored for The Green Lantern as well. Problem is, he claims to have heard nothing about the superhero project. Hey, Brad, buck up. You may get to star in the adaptation of a mediocre 80s show that I loved (mainly because William "The Refrigerator" Perry starred in one episode)! That's just as good as starring in a major franchise, right? What about working with Common? That has to be a goal of every talented actor, right? I mean, Sir Lawrence Olivier never worked with Common. Daniel Day-Lewis hasn't worked with Common. That puts you in rarefied air, doesn't it? Good luck shooting tires and engines!
Weekend Box Office Results: God only slightly more powerful than Spock
Wow, that was a lot closer than anybody who made Angels and Demons thought it would be! Star Trek damn near pulled off an upset over the Popicidal sequel to the most boring blockbuster ever! Now, the good news for Ron Howard and Tom Hanks (besides, you know, the rest of their lives) is that the first movie did insane money overseas, so they could really care less how well this does domestically. It will likely chug past around $150 million here and make like $400 million overseas. Anytime you can pull down half a billion for making a movie about a guy who sees things that happened and then describes them, you have to be satisfied. The more interesting question is this: Will Star Trek be the big winner this summer? Sure, Harry Potter is gonna get his, but will this be the surprise second-place finisher? Can it outlast Transformers 2? Do you care? No? Fair enough.
Here are the results:
1.) Angels and Demons - $48 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)
A big dip down from the opening of The Da Vinci Code despite featuring 100% less self-mutilating albinos. I haven't made it out to this one yet (psst, I probably won't), but I hear that it was more exciting than the first one...meaning that it didn't actually act as cinematic Ambien.
2.) Star Trek - $43 million (Accuracy of prediction - 99%)
Wowza. This bodes quite well for the boldly goers, as the dip was very small for a non-Summer weekend, let alone a blockbuster-laden time frame. This will fly past $200 million (although it takes a bigger body shot this weekend with Terminator: Salvation aiming for the exact same audience). This has a shot at $300 million. That's right, a Star Trek movie has a shot at $300 million. Bow down to JJ Abrams right now.
3.) X-Men Origins: Wolverine - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 82%)
Stopped the bleeding a little bit from last week, but T4 should just about do it for this movie. It really doesn't have a good chance of clearing $200 million, which is a shame for such a potent franchise. That's right, I just implied Hugh Jackman is impotent (not really, please don't Australian punch me).
4.) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - $6.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)
Don't look now, but this movie is going to clear $50 million before it hits video. We like to talk about the $100 million movies, but this will be profitable before Wolverine is. Also, I love Jennifer Garner. You didn't think I'd forget, did you?
5.) Obsessed - $4.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)
Bye-bye Beyonkee. I shall not talk of you again for months. YESSSSS!
Overall accuracy of prediction - 93.4%
Didn't even need my Wildcard this week. Now that's awesome. I think I've gotten the hang of it. This works much easier when people just do as their told and see what they're supposed to. Happy Monday gang!
Let's get something straight here; I like board games. I like them so much that they were among the first parcels transported to my new home. They have a place all picked out for them. I play them often. I just realized that I've gone too far in defending my pro-board game position and now sound like a loser who would conceivably dress-up to play live-action versions of "Clue." (Psst, I totally would). That said, I do not need to see movie versions of board games. To further elaborate: No one needs to see movie versions of board games. Don't be pulling the whole "people said the same thing about movies based on theme park rides and look how good Pirates was." (A) It had Johnny Depp. (B) It had effing pirates; if Geena Davis isn't involved, ANYONE can make a good movie with pirates. (C) Talk to me after the Rock's take on Tomorrowland (yep, seriously). As far as board games go, were I kept in the dark for the rest of eternity regarding what shape and or form an adaption of Candyland would resemble, my soul would rest each night on a puffy cloud without worry. And yet, today brings news from multiple outlets that Peter Berg is in talks to direct Battleship. Now, on the one hand it seems like a good opportunity to have a naval action movie (if only there were other sources available for the basis of a naval action movie, like say the last 2000 years of human experience). I, however, am holding out hope that it will actually follow the board game, and involve people sounding bored to death calling out numbers and letters for two hours. Think of the thrill when Marlon Wayons calls out B28 and Ashton Kutcher says "you sunk my tugboat." Why do I think there's some photoshopped version of Ashton and Marlon "sinking tugboats" already online somewhere. Anyway, happy Monday, here's a board game movie!
The A-Team gets a team
That title is just sad, but I'm tired enough to not give a squirt. Joe Carnahan is making The A-Team movie. He's like the seventh bastard to try. How hard can it be? They're a group of former soldiers who shoot out the tires and engines of random bad guys for innocent and troubled folks. I mean, they're making a goddamn Battleship movie, and you can't get the A-Team together? Reportedly, Common is in negotiations to play BA Baracus (that's Common the rapper/actor [raptor], not Common the adjective). Also, word on the street (that's a metaphor, I would have no idea what happens "on the street" I heard it through IESB) is that Bradley Cooper may be playing Face (that's Face the character, not Face the body part). This makes Bradley a hot Internet property, with him being rumored for The Green Lantern as well. Problem is, he claims to have heard nothing about the superhero project. Hey, Brad, buck up. You may get to star in the adaptation of a mediocre 80s show that I loved (mainly because William "The Refrigerator" Perry starred in one episode)! That's just as good as starring in a major franchise, right? What about working with Common? That has to be a goal of every talented actor, right? I mean, Sir Lawrence Olivier never worked with Common. Daniel Day-Lewis hasn't worked with Common. That puts you in rarefied air, doesn't it? Good luck shooting tires and engines!
Weekend Box Office Results: God only slightly more powerful than Spock
Wow, that was a lot closer than anybody who made Angels and Demons thought it would be! Star Trek damn near pulled off an upset over the Popicidal sequel to the most boring blockbuster ever! Now, the good news for Ron Howard and Tom Hanks (besides, you know, the rest of their lives) is that the first movie did insane money overseas, so they could really care less how well this does domestically. It will likely chug past around $150 million here and make like $400 million overseas. Anytime you can pull down half a billion for making a movie about a guy who sees things that happened and then describes them, you have to be satisfied. The more interesting question is this: Will Star Trek be the big winner this summer? Sure, Harry Potter is gonna get his, but will this be the surprise second-place finisher? Can it outlast Transformers 2? Do you care? No? Fair enough.
Here are the results:
1.) Angels and Demons - $48 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)
A big dip down from the opening of The Da Vinci Code despite featuring 100% less self-mutilating albinos. I haven't made it out to this one yet (psst, I probably won't), but I hear that it was more exciting than the first one...meaning that it didn't actually act as cinematic Ambien.
2.) Star Trek - $43 million (Accuracy of prediction - 99%)
Wowza. This bodes quite well for the boldly goers, as the dip was very small for a non-Summer weekend, let alone a blockbuster-laden time frame. This will fly past $200 million (although it takes a bigger body shot this weekend with Terminator: Salvation aiming for the exact same audience). This has a shot at $300 million. That's right, a Star Trek movie has a shot at $300 million. Bow down to JJ Abrams right now.
3.) X-Men Origins: Wolverine - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 82%)
Stopped the bleeding a little bit from last week, but T4 should just about do it for this movie. It really doesn't have a good chance of clearing $200 million, which is a shame for such a potent franchise. That's right, I just implied Hugh Jackman is impotent (not really, please don't Australian punch me).
4.) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - $6.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 100%)
Don't look now, but this movie is going to clear $50 million before it hits video. We like to talk about the $100 million movies, but this will be profitable before Wolverine is. Also, I love Jennifer Garner. You didn't think I'd forget, did you?
5.) Obsessed - $4.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)
Bye-bye Beyonkee. I shall not talk of you again for months. YESSSSS!
Overall accuracy of prediction - 93.4%
Didn't even need my Wildcard this week. Now that's awesome. I think I've gotten the hang of it. This works much easier when people just do as their told and see what they're supposed to. Happy Monday gang!
posted by Ryan at
9:30 AM
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