Quick clips for Wednesday May 27

Is this because it's my birthday?

Because it is my birthday, and that's the only reason I can think of that I would come in to find THIS today:

Do you know what that is? That's the characters from Pixar's first fairy tale. I'm fairly sure that this was posted on the internet, like, 50 years ago...but I don't give a Bantha poo-doo. It's my special day, and I'm going to treat this image and description (it's coming later on, hold your knickers) like it's a big ole present. According to The Pixar Blog, someone made mention of Brave at a press conference, and rumor mongers (who, MOI?) ran with it as a potential name for the short that will accompany Toy Story 3. Sources reveal (to other people, I'm source-free, unlike my mouth in the presence of my grandma, which is to remain sass-free) that Brave is just the internal name for The Bear and the Bow, which is like how my "internal name" is Cougarface. The description is actually the most important part and, again, is probably a century old to people who look for such things, but here it is for those who don't. Reese Witherspoon will voice Merida, who is a princess of some kind but wants tob e an archer (shades of Robinetta Hood? Or, you know, Robin Hood...Robin can be a girl's name too you sexist pigs). Merida has a fight with her mom, does something stupid, and has to fight against evil and an ancient curse. Sounds about right. I'm guessing the curse has something to do with a bear otherwise the name is as appropriate as calling a movie by Terrance Malick "timely." The burning in my loins to see what Pixar does with a fairy tale can only be described as "epic," and if you've never had epic loin burning, you are missing out.

At least it's exciting possible bullshit sequel news

Most comedies that are beloved by others strike me as just marginally funny. This is likely because I'm a contrarian douchebag, but whatever the case, the exception to my skepticism has been Anchorman, one of the funniest movies out there. You tell me that you don't guffaw when there's a street brawl between news studios that prominently features a trident. For months, nay years now, the principle featured players have been lightly discussing a sequel. Unfortunately, that discussion has consisted of the following "Yeah, that'd be cool" followed by silence. Well, prepare for a response to "that'd be cool" because Moviehole is reporting that everyone (meaning the makers of Anchorman, not you and I) are meeting next week to see if a possible sequel can actually happen. This is via the mouth of Will Ferrell (with all his lips have done, if that mouth could talk...), who said it on an Australian radio show, so you know it's 100% legitimate. Sequel rumors have taken this series interesting places, but I for one am just hoping we get to see the 80s version of Ron Burgandy, as are the guys at Slashfilm.com. Think of the material that decade can offer. The question, I suppose, involves the meteoric rise of Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell. Will they be willing to play second banana (or tangerine, the fruit choice is theirs) to Ferrell? My guess is, yes, yes they will. Why? Because unlike famous dramatic actors, the willingness of comedic actors to do cameos, guest spots, or bit parts is much higher. They follow the funny like Eddie Murphy followed his junk in the Playboy scene of Beverly Hills Cop. I made that reference because I had to force myself to remember a time that Murphy's movies didn't give me murderface.

Weekend box office results: Yep, I'm just now getting to this

You know what, if they all got an extra day to tally up their cash, I get two extra days to post the results. That's my rule. Also, since this is the most boring thing I do on this blog (well, I think it is, you likely think something that I think isn't boring is more boring, but be nice to me on my birthday), I'm going to Haiku it up again. Again, as I've said before, all it takes to change my behavior is a quick comment. Let me know if you're for or against the Haiku, or anything for that matter. I'm all ears (not literally, that would make sex very loud).

Here are the results (from the 4-day weekend):

1.) Night at the Museum 2: You still like this shit - $70 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)

Alas, Ben Stiller.
I remember your first show.
Where did your soul go?

2.) Terminator Salvation - $52 million (Accuracy of prediction - 70%)

Dear Mr. McG,
your movie was so stupid
my brain still hates me.

3.) Star Trek - $29 million (Accuracy of prediction - 98.5%)

Enjoy the success!
Top movie of 2009!
...but here comes Harry.

4.) Angels and Demons - $27 million (Accuracy of prediction - 89%)

Can't touch Da Vinci,
at least in box office terms.
No more Langdon, please?

5.) Dance Flick - $12.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 94%)

Wayan bros back again
whether you like it or not.
I'm choosing the "not."

Overall accuracy of prediction - 88%

All of a sudden
I don't entirely suck!
I take what I can.