Quick clips for Thursday June 18
Ryan's Junk Drawer
Time to see what's in the old Junk Drawer for this week. Oddly enough, in my real junk drawer at home, nothing but buttons, Hershey kisses, and dead Smurfs.
An open plea to someone I once loved...whose name rhymes with N Height Bamalan
This probably should have ended up in the Junk Drawer, but I love it too much to let it go. M. Night Shyamalan has mentioned that he is still considering making another Unbreakable movie. YES, PLEASE. That movie remains one of my favorites, and for good reason. To me, it is the gold standard for origin stories; plus, it set up a wholly NEW superhero in an age when people are buying the rights to comics before they're even published yet. Basically, you have a franchise sitting on the shelf, and I know you can get Sam Jackson (he'd do my yardwork if I asked right) and Bruce Willis (come on, M. resurrected his career with The Sixth Sense). I don't know that I mourned anything as much as the demise of the once promising Mr. Shyamalan (okay, maybe a few deceased relatives), who absolutely dropped a deuce on a promising career with the three-fold plop of The Village, The Lady in the Water, and The Happening. Wowza, that list reads like punishment we should inflict on terrorists. That he's even considering another Unbreakable should be encouraged to a degree usually reserved for cult television shows that weren't that great to begin with ("Jericho" I'm looking at you). Don't tell me that Internet buzz can't be used to get a project off the ground; we need a groundswell of support for this project in order to ensure that M doesn't go on to make a movie about telekinetic sea cucumbers or something...THE DUDE WAS GOING TO BE GREAT and now he's the guy who made the worst Mark Wahlberg movie ever. The worst MARK WAHLBERG movie EVER. You want to make the worst Tom Hanks movie, that's pretty easy, but Mark Wahlberg has been trying to make bad movies for years now, so that took some doing. Anyway, discuss this total bullshit rumor and minor side-note as if it were your religion. Promote the idea of Breakable or whatever you'd want to call it like it was your job (it kind of is mine). I want this to happen like a fat kid wants his hand to come out of the bottom of the vending machine.
How do you solve a problem like Bruno
It's being widely reported (for example, at The Wrap) that Bruno is being slightly reshot to "appease the Hollywood gay community." Yeah, because that ought to fix any problems that someone who may have problems with Bruno is going to have. One of the most anticipated releases of the year for me is also perhaps the most complex. Will the film serve as brilliant anti-homophobia exposition or will it be nothing more than a stereotype paraded around for abuse, a homo-pinata if you will? Personally, I think the answer is both and that, more surprisingly, that's a good thing. Okay, first and foremost we know that the film is going to be a collage of "gotcha" moments that expose the deep-rooted homophobia that many out there carry. The only way to produce that deep-rooted homophobia is to invent a character that is guaranteed to provoke it. Second, it's about gol-darn time we blow up the stereotypes involving homosexuals. Hell, for about 8 years there was a character only slightly less ridiculous on "Will and Grace" and he got Emmys and was counted as one of the "homosexual representations on television." Eff that! You want to blow up a stereotype, you dress someone in a glittery, diamond-encrusted banana hammock and have them say every ridiculous thing that you can think of. Why? To laugh at how INSANELY RIDICULOUS people who think that's how actual homosexuals act are! The joke is that this caricature gets taken seriously by people who think that's how homosexuals actually act! Hell, the funniest part about Borat to me was that everybody seemed to believe that all foreigners are really that backwards. That's the point of these movies, to expose people who are hateful and quick to believe that an obvious caricature is real and to blow up the stereotype for the obvious over-exaggeration it is. Yes, there are going to be those who find this to somehow be a set-back for the community, but I disagree wholeheartedly in concept (perhaps I'll feel different after seeing the movie). Personally, I think this is the sort of thing we need to really combat deep bigotry, and I hope the reshoots don't water down what could be an important satirical message. Satire has always been used to make real, lasting social change; here's hoping it is again.
Time to see what's in the old Junk Drawer for this week. Oddly enough, in my real junk drawer at home, nothing but buttons, Hershey kisses, and dead Smurfs.
- Like it or not (and, for the record, me likey), that whole JJ Abrams/Tom Cruise produced next entry in the Mission Impossible series is going to happen in 2011 (most likely May). We still don't know what the nature of the entry is (sequel? prequel? reboot? reimaginging? sequeprebootagining?), who will be involved (beyond Tommy boy), and what the central Macguffin will be (I'm a big fan of nuclear stuff...not in real life, but you know, mushroom clouds look wicked cool on my TV).
- David Lynch, who used to just blow your minds, is continuing to show interest in blowing your ears (kinky). His first album (with Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse...which I still haven't heard on account of me wanting to not trip balls during the work week) just hit and he has a second one, called Fox Bat Strategy (see, you're practically hallucinating already just reading the title) is on the way June 30 and is a set of 50s-style tunes. So...there's that.
- Everyone on the Internet all at once heard a largely unsubstantiated rumor about Michael Sheen being in the running for Blofeld in the next Bond movie. This titillated and aroused people (and not just because of the name Blofeld), including myself. Not only is this (A) highly plausible in my book because Sheen is a great British actor who has worked with the new screenwriter (Peter Morgan) on a bunch of stuff (including the Broadway and screen versions of Frost Nixon) but (B) would give the new rebooted series the one thing it has missed: A big baddie. Lots of people are poo-pooing this rumor, but I say we make it happen. Hell, the power of positive nerding is why The Expendables is happening, why can't we make Blofeld rise? That sounded way dirty.
- Josh Peck (from some kids show and The Wackness) is joining Chris Hemsworth (he gon' be Thor!) and some hottie from "Friday Night Lights" named Adrienne Palicki (her name sounds made up) in the remake of Red Dawn. It's my second favorite guilty-pleasure 80s movie (right after Roadhouse..."pain don't hurt" bitches), so these cast of no-names better get it right or I'm going Red Army on their asses.
- According to Shia LaBeouf, who made the offhanded comment to some reporter while whoring out Transfomers 2: Rise of the Robot Nuts (for reals, there's a robot who has full-on cyber testes), Steven Spielberg "cracked the story" for Indiana Jones 5. (A) I thought Lucas was the one on crack (hi-oh!) and (B) wake me when this comes to fruition (or doesn't), we heard about the "cracking of Indy 4" for almost a decade before it happened. For the record, still don't hate Crystal Skulls. It's got problems, but so does each and every person I love.
- Finally, Australian Stuart Beattie is making a movie out of the "Tomorrow" series, which is like Red Dawn in Australia (but in Australia, they'd have eaten Jennifer Gray). Maybe it will act as a do-over when the American version inevitably sucks dingo dong.
An open plea to someone I once loved...whose name rhymes with N Height Bamalan
This probably should have ended up in the Junk Drawer, but I love it too much to let it go. M. Night Shyamalan has mentioned that he is still considering making another Unbreakable movie. YES, PLEASE. That movie remains one of my favorites, and for good reason. To me, it is the gold standard for origin stories; plus, it set up a wholly NEW superhero in an age when people are buying the rights to comics before they're even published yet. Basically, you have a franchise sitting on the shelf, and I know you can get Sam Jackson (he'd do my yardwork if I asked right) and Bruce Willis (come on, M. resurrected his career with The Sixth Sense). I don't know that I mourned anything as much as the demise of the once promising Mr. Shyamalan (okay, maybe a few deceased relatives), who absolutely dropped a deuce on a promising career with the three-fold plop of The Village, The Lady in the Water, and The Happening. Wowza, that list reads like punishment we should inflict on terrorists. That he's even considering another Unbreakable should be encouraged to a degree usually reserved for cult television shows that weren't that great to begin with ("Jericho" I'm looking at you). Don't tell me that Internet buzz can't be used to get a project off the ground; we need a groundswell of support for this project in order to ensure that M doesn't go on to make a movie about telekinetic sea cucumbers or something...THE DUDE WAS GOING TO BE GREAT and now he's the guy who made the worst Mark Wahlberg movie ever. The worst MARK WAHLBERG movie EVER. You want to make the worst Tom Hanks movie, that's pretty easy, but Mark Wahlberg has been trying to make bad movies for years now, so that took some doing. Anyway, discuss this total bullshit rumor and minor side-note as if it were your religion. Promote the idea of Breakable or whatever you'd want to call it like it was your job (it kind of is mine). I want this to happen like a fat kid wants his hand to come out of the bottom of the vending machine.
How do you solve a problem like Bruno
It's being widely reported (for example, at The Wrap) that Bruno is being slightly reshot to "appease the Hollywood gay community." Yeah, because that ought to fix any problems that someone who may have problems with Bruno is going to have. One of the most anticipated releases of the year for me is also perhaps the most complex. Will the film serve as brilliant anti-homophobia exposition or will it be nothing more than a stereotype paraded around for abuse, a homo-pinata if you will? Personally, I think the answer is both and that, more surprisingly, that's a good thing. Okay, first and foremost we know that the film is going to be a collage of "gotcha" moments that expose the deep-rooted homophobia that many out there carry. The only way to produce that deep-rooted homophobia is to invent a character that is guaranteed to provoke it. Second, it's about gol-darn time we blow up the stereotypes involving homosexuals. Hell, for about 8 years there was a character only slightly less ridiculous on "Will and Grace" and he got Emmys and was counted as one of the "homosexual representations on television." Eff that! You want to blow up a stereotype, you dress someone in a glittery, diamond-encrusted banana hammock and have them say every ridiculous thing that you can think of. Why? To laugh at how INSANELY RIDICULOUS people who think that's how actual homosexuals act are! The joke is that this caricature gets taken seriously by people who think that's how homosexuals actually act! Hell, the funniest part about Borat to me was that everybody seemed to believe that all foreigners are really that backwards. That's the point of these movies, to expose people who are hateful and quick to believe that an obvious caricature is real and to blow up the stereotype for the obvious over-exaggeration it is. Yes, there are going to be those who find this to somehow be a set-back for the community, but I disagree wholeheartedly in concept (perhaps I'll feel different after seeing the movie). Personally, I think this is the sort of thing we need to really combat deep bigotry, and I hope the reshoots don't water down what could be an important satirical message. Satire has always been used to make real, lasting social change; here's hoping it is again.
posted by Ryan at
7:24 AM
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