Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Bekmambetov is Russian for "no duh"

If you have yet to see Angelina Jolie's Wanted...I don't really care. It's fun, but nothing too terribly enthralling, and I'm about to ruin the ending for you (in case you care) in order to reveal how they're going to have Jolie bring her kickin' curves (I'm talking about her lips) back for Wanted 2: Want S'more. The movie, about a league of assassins who kill people (because they are trying to restore order) are told who to murder by a giant tapestry and...you know what, I'm going to skip all the crazy and get to the end. Jolie's character gets shot in the cabeza, something that several people have expressed a desire to do based on things not involving her fictional assassin work. So, the question has long been "how do you bring the star that people care about back to make a sequel after you made her brains all gooey (okay, gooey-er)?" Well, MTV considers this an EXCLUSIVE, so prepare yourself to deal with the obvious: In the movie, there are baths that heal you (don't ask, really, don't). The director has confirmed EXCLUSIVELY TO MTV that they are going to say someone put her in the magic tub, a solution that it took literally seconds to create. And there you go...except that the end of the movie seems to take place a little while after the climactic shootout and nobody dragged Jolie's hot carcass to the bath that makes her feel better. You know what, this movie is getting stupider every time I try to describe something from it. I really enjoyed the kinetic energy of it all, the spectacle and adrenaline of it, but good lord is it apparently the dumbest thing I've ever had to synopsize. I'm just going to move on now.

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