Thursday, August 6, 2009

Dune to feature 100% less Sting, 200% more action

I have to admit that I am not into "Dune." To go all Dr. Seuss on you, "I did not read it as a book, I did not give the film a look, I did not watch the mini on TV, I did not care to spinoffs see." I know that it has something to do with "spices" and giant phallic worms. That's what I know. So when Peter Berg, the poor bastard tasked with directing the remake-reboot-whatever, spoke with Sifiwire, I was also struck with a sense of total and complete ennui. Now, supposedly, Berg sees some promise in the adaptation, noting that "To me, I think my interpretation will feel significantly different from [the Lynch version] and the [Syfy] Channel miniseries that aired...[The Book] was much more muscular and adventurous, more violent and possibly even a little bit fun." First of all, I like how he makes it sound like the book is a male escort ("muscular and adventurous"). I also likes that he goes out on a limb and thinks that it is "possibly even a little bit fun." Whoa, whoa, slow down there Berg-man, I don't know if "Dune" fans can handle a little bit of fun. They may have a seizure. I mean, this is what they last saw on the big screen:
If he had a "little bit of fun"the film would get an NC-17 rating, for God's sake. Look, I love sci-fi as much as the next nerd, and I've been told for years that this is a universe worth visiting. I know damn well that the previews for this "little bit of fun" film will make me jones to see it (despite the fact that, you know, there's no script yet), but I retain the right to be suspicious about anything that once had an adaptation where Sting wore those panties.

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