Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Megan Fox to use her toe thumbs for EVIL!

I know this flies in the face of everything I, as a red-blooded, heterosexual male, should hold dear, but Megan Fox really doesn't all that much for me (and I don't mean she doesn't do my taxes or the laundry, I mean doesn't produce the results on me she produces on the rest of the world). Sure, she has some awesome parts, but so does a GTO and I don't want to pork that. She's obnoxious in interviews, has yet to reveal any talent, and has a speaking voice that, dare I say, makes me long to impersonate Hellen Keller. So, let me be one of the first among many to cry out and call the latest rumor from British fish wrap "The Sun," that Miss Talentless Toe Thumbs is going to be Catwoman in the as-of-yet-unwritten, as-of-yet-unagreed-upon Batman 3 as total and utter bull puckey. I don't think Christopher Nolan would suffer the talentless whiner, and it in no way seems to fit the world that the man has so meticulously created. I know that everyone is obsessed about who the new villain (or villains...or villainess) will be but it's time we stop just guessing. If I were to make a recommendation, it would be to avoid the "double-villain maneuver" this time (which sounds an awful lot like a dirty Kamasutra position) and I would opt for just one...and I would in fact make it The Riddler. Obviously, if you've read the blog before, you know that my major recommendation is to nut-up and make The Dark Knight Returns (God, the title just fits perfectly in this position), fastforwarding 20 or so years and allowing a NEW actor to play the Joker to continue what was a great story. Hell, you set up in the last movie that Batman had to go underground at the end, which means you don't even need to have some intricate side-story like they did in the comic about how "all heroes are outlawed." You can just fast forward 20 years and tell the end of this bat-trilogy before someone else reboots in next time out. Anyway, that's not going to happen because the mainstream public is more obsessed with doody like "Megan Fox is going to be dressed in leather," like that is in anyway something we haven't seen before. BLERG! In the real-world, I endorse The Riddler (not necessarily Johnny Depp...in fact, I wouldn't go that route, but I'd use somebody like...OH, I'VE GOT IT ACTUALLY, it should be Cristoph Waltz, the guy who played Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds...God, I'm gooooood). The reason is that he would allow Nolan to play the mind games and grittiness, the detective work and insanity themes that he's developed for years now. It works. It isn't ideal, but it also isn't Megan Fox as Catwoman. That's my two cents. Oh, and just because, here's the Megan Fox spoof video that cracks my shit up again.



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2 Comments:

Blogger The Kid In The Front Row said...

i can take or leave megan fox, same as you i think.

August 26, 2009  
Blogger Ryan said...

To be fair, she strikes me as the kind of crazy that would not be left...she'd follow you to your house and possibly stab you.

August 26, 2009  

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