Wednesday, September 16, 2009

See, we don't make EVERYTHING up

A while back, we (the royal we...that is) told you that Sharlto Copley was wisely being sought for the role of "Howlin' Mad" Murdock in The A-Team, a movie that I'm 99% sure is just a figment of my imagination at this point. Turns out...we were right! Shazam!! The trades are reporting that not only is Sharlto in talks for that role but that an offer is also out to Jessica Biel to loan her limited acting skills and limitless trunk junk as one of the A-Team's adversaries. Her main weapon against the crack-squad of fallen soldiers (which is at this point is also composed of an MMA wrestler and the guy who voiced Lion Jesus in Chronicles of Narnia) will presumably be this:

Seriously, girl, what the hell is that? Are you Gene Simmons now? That's not right...or sexy...or human. We need to investigate this, as I'm pretty sure she's one of the lizard people from "V." Actually, this would make a good action figure. You press her booty and her tongue does this:

Oh, GOD, I can't even look at it. Make it stop. This has been your disturbing A-Team update of the day.

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