Cutting Room: Comic book non-news EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!

Greetings earthlings. It's Monday, and I had a real happy, happy fun weekend. For realz, that's not even sarcasm. I beat a video game with the aid of a buddy (suck it, villains of Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2), I did my taxes (suck it, IRS), I assembled and used my wovel (suck it, snow), and I fixed my vacuum (suck it, vacuum). I also watched the Super Bowl and hung out a lot. Epic relaxation. Apparently, this is what some people do sometimes on the weekends...interesting. While I was regaining a measure of normalcy, the world was spewing forth minor, minor nuggets of comic movie news. Minor nuggets. Baby turds really. Here they are, assembled for you like the Avengers, only far less mighty.

Deadline Hollywood let us know that Fox hired a writer to do the reboot of Daredevil (sorry, Ben Affleck, they're going to just Lysol those leather pants like you never even wore them). The guy they hired, David Scarpa, is pretty hacktastic. He wrote the utterly forgettable Last Castle and the anger-inspiring The Day The Earth Stood Still remake. This may just be a place holder, as if there isn't "movement" on the project soon, Fox loses the rights back to Disney/Marvel (we need a combined name...howsabout Darvel? Misney? Marney?...I like Marney, it sounds like an affable janitor). The shifting definitions of "movement" mean that we're going to see F@cks Studio do a lot of this "hiring writer" and "firing writer" business with Fantastic Four and Silver Surfer too. Joy.
In an interview with Moviehole, Ryan McPartlin (aka "Captain Awesome" from "Chuck") confirmed he auditioned for Captain America. Now, he's not going to get it, even though he looks the part, because he doesn't exactly have the chops for the role...at least, nothing we've seen thus far suggests it. I do agree with Slashfilm.com that this is more of a clue as to who they're looking at for the part. Young, blonde, hunks. NO F**KING WAY?! They are thinking of casting a chiseled, blond, young guy to be Captain America? Why that is so TOTALLY in line with all of my expectations. What shocking news will you drop on my face next?

(He's the one on the right, FYI)
Whoa, more Captain America news? Instead of linking to all of the individual places where director Joe Johnston squeezed out some rumor poop, I'm going to link you to the main page that Slashfilm.com compiled. It's easier that way. As far as age goes, Johnston says the actors have been "as young as 23 and as old as 32." Ok. It will be set almost entirely in Europe during WW2, aside from the "present day bookends," which obviously involve Cap waking up in present day America. Also, the costume will be explained in a needlessly complicated way, you know, for "realism." Apparently, Steve Rogers will drink the soldier serum, get all beefy, and then be sent to do morale boosting in the USO because the brass is too afraid to have their only super soldier actually get killed. So he gets a USO costume that he makes into an actual battle costume. That's dumb. They make a super soldier and then don't use him? Uh, okay. I'm going to make a car that goes real fast and then put it in glass. Oh, and Red Skull is officially the villain. Ya-boo. Presumably, he will look better than this.
Now, call real, real far down on this one, okay? Nikki Finke says the main reason David Goyer is not continuing as showrunner for "Flash Forward" is that he is working on the Batman 3 script with Jonathon Nolan. She's kind of guessing. Goyer only said it's one project he has on his plate. Plus, we knew for a long time that he'd at least have a pass at it. Chris Nolan has confirmed nothing. We have no timetable whatsoever. And besides, we all know this is going to be a crushing disappointment, right? Unless they do something, ahem, batshit crazy, Batman 3 going to just be a pale reminder of what could have been with Heath Ledger. I can't see it being great. Sorry, I just can't. You know what is great? This actual panel from a Batman comic.