Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Everybody run! It's a Godzilla reboot!!!?!?!

If you've only seen the Matthew Broderick version of Godzilla once (or, God bless you, never at all), you may not realize just how insanely bad it was. This is not the cute, three-legged puppy. This is the exploded dog on the side of the road that just got splatted by someone driving a Hummer (heehee, people stilld rive Hummers). Despite this atrocity, for which director Roland Emmerich should have been beaten and flogged (possibly preventing 10,000 BC), Japan has decided to let America try to kill Godzilla again by allowing Legendary Pictures to launch another big budget onslaught. As near as I can tell, the best thing an American has done with Godzilla is the following:

I'm not 100% opposed to this, and Legendary seems to have decent levels of respect for genre things. I'm not saying that I think Godzilla is some kind of sacred deity that should be honored. I mean, he's not Spider-man. I'm just saying that the Japanese have made this character into something pretty awesome for something like 750 years (I may be doing my math wrong on that), and we've managed to bone things up the one time we got to use him. I don't think they should go all Cloverfield. I don't think they should go all The Host. I think they should have him be a multidimensional being that enters our world thanks to the Hadron Collider ripping a hole into the multiverse (like we KNOW just happened today). That's my two cents. FYI: I'm kidding, but it would still be better than anything in the Matthew Broderick version. Seriously, Jean Reno, what the hell?

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