Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Today in Bizzaro news

This is Drew Barrymore today.
Beautiful, confident, and assertive, we as a nation have forgiven her for showing David Letterman her jubblies, her bizarre refusal to wear a bra during awards ceremonies, her bizarre lisp, and that whole period in the 1980s and 90s where she did Playboy far less frequently than she did cocaine. She's now a "go-getter" and one of "America's Sweethearts." All of that is now in jeopardy, as Pajiba says that the boobie-flasher-turned-director is circling Surrendering Dorothy as her next directorial project. What is that? Oh, nothing, it's just a sequel to The Wizard of Oz. HUHBUHWHA?!?!?! According to the original write-up from way back in 2000, the idea is that the Wicked Witch faked her death, and now in the year 2000 (presumably this will be updated to 2010, but how great would it be if they treated us like we were already nostalgic for the year 2000) she breaks out of an Oz jail and heads to New York. No, that was not a quick note taken from worstideasever.com. That's an actual script. Well, it was. See waaaaaaay back in the year 2000 (I hear Conan's voice every time I read that phrase), this thing was killed (presumably because it's a terrible idea). So while Barrymore's directorial debut, Whip It, was inoffensive enough, this may finally be the thing that forces us to rise up as one and demand that she be held accountable for executive producing things like He's Just Not That Into You, which was practically a cinematic hate crime against women. We need more women directors. We do not need a sequel to The Wizard of Oz.

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