Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Riddle me this: Do I trust you?

When movie blogging first got started, the great white whale that webmasters sought was a Phantom Menace poop...ER...scoop. Would-be Ahabs started leaking (figuratively...and probably literally) whatever half-rumored/half-dreamed nonsense they could drum up. This was partly due to the exuberance of returning to the Star Wars universe (how'd that turn out for you?) and partly because the easiest way to get noticed online at that time was to reveal something about the film, true or not ("There's a sexy new character in it named Jar-Jar who becomes the greatest Jedi ever!"). A few years ago, the practice of hit whoring shifted to Twilight, and the world has never really recovered. It's kind of like cultural herpes. Latinoreview STILL says their most commented on story is one where he mentioned the movie Wolfman and a legion of Twi-hards got into a discussion over the best werewolves. I've never read that post myself, because if I did, I would have to take my own life at the end of a sword. Why do I mention all of this? Because the new thing to do is make up Batman 3 rumors. Sweet tap-dancing chickens have we heard it all. We've heard the various Catwoman rumors (it's Cher!), the Johnny Depp rumors (he's going to play The Riddler...GAY!), the Philip Seymour Hoffman rumors (he's the Penguin...the depressed, possibly pedophile penguin), the "Chris Nolan urinates on the legacy of Heath Ledger and recasts the Joker" rumors (it's the most distasteful of all hit-whoring rumors!). Lies. All filthy, dirty lies. Today brings a new potential load of hooey, as FirstShowing claims to have spoken with someone who has a studio casting grid for the project. The grid, which may or may not be a supreme figment of fiction, supposedly reveals something interesting.
Although no others are mentioned, it would shock me if there weren't more villains included in this picture. I don't know if the stink of Halle Berry's performance is off of Catwoman yet, but she would be a great get (especially if that Marion Cotillard business worked out). Oh, I should mention, next to The Riddler's name, there was an actor listed as "interested."
After Inception, it makes sense to think of Joey Gordon Levitt partnering up with Chris Nolan again. Plus, he'd be good in the role, so I'm down with that. But this is exactly the same fanwank bullpuckey we've been disseminating for almost a year now. Is it true? Maybe? When will we know? Well...there's a chance they could give us SOMETHING at Comic-Con this week. I doubt it, but it's possible. Just take it from me, I promise I will not lie to you about these theories and rumors. When it is definite, I will indicate as such. When it is speculation, I will tell you. When I am hungry, I will ask you for a sandwich. These things I promise you.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd dig him in the role--little young for what I imagine--but I think he'd do a nice job. If they go Riddler with this next film, I REALLY hope they steer clear of the Joker-ish depictions we've seen in prevous incarnations of the character.
Also, this would be an interesting character for Nolan to tackle. He's proven himself a master of complex, puzzle-like plot lines (Momento/Inception) and this would be a chance to bring that to the Batman franchise.

July 21, 2010  

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