Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Am I the only one who remembers Angelina Jolie was crazy?

Happy Wednesday. Angelina Jolie is crazy (pictured below when she believed herself to be flying).
Just wanted to remind a world convinced that Lindsay Lohan can't unbork herself or her career that everyone thinks Angelina Jolie did just that. What do I mean? Let's start with 5 facts:

1.) Angelina Jolie's dad is Jon Voight.
2.) Jon Voight is the single craziest actor whose name does not rhyme with Schmary Schmusey.
3.) Angelina Jolie was married to Billy Bob Thornton.
4.) When Angelina Jolie was married to Billy Bob Thornton, she used to keep his blood in a vial around her neck, engage in whoopy inside the limo of a premiere, and other general batshit insanity.
5.) Angelina Jolie used to do heroin.

I'm not sure what happened, if it was settling down with Brad Pitt or just making/adopting/stealing babies, but she went from heroin-addict-billy-bob-sex-toy to "St. Angelina" as she's been called. I love how much she seems dedicated to helping people, I love that she uses her voice in a positive way, and I love that her career has sorted itself out because we need high-profile actresses who aren't Cameron Diaz. I still think she's nuts, yo. She's got that look in her eyes where she seems to be sizing up what side of your neck to bite. Oh, and she used to do shit like bite people. Look it up. Anyway, I wasn't going to do a story on her next movie, because it's so much in the rumor stage right now, but this seemed like a good time to remind everyone she's crazy, because her next movie is supposedly going to be a romantic drama set in 1990s Bosnia during the war. Oh, and she's not starring in it. She's WRITING AND DIRECTING IT. That's right, having done absolutely zero writing and/or directing, she's going to leap into a war romance. Could it be great? Sure! Would I love to find another talented woman who can write and direct and has the clout to actually get her films financed? Youbetcha. Do I worry that this crazy person has read so many of her own press clippings that she now believes herself capable of anything? Uh huh. We'll see on this one. My money is on the project just never materializing. I know people can change, and I hope that I'm wrong, but the next time she does an interview, just look at her eyes and tell me you don't see a bucket of trouble.

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