Friday, August 20, 2010

Teenage Mutant Ninja Uh-oh

Howdy ho, partners. It's Friday, and you're still alive. Praise be to the talking trash heap for allowing us all to survive this long, am I right? Let's kick off Friday with a group of heroes whose enemies are the Foot Clan. Get it? "Kick off Friday"...because the foot clan is what you'd use to kick...you know what, cut a man some slack on this weekend eve, okay? The news is that they've finally assigned new screenwriters to tackle the relaunch of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which Paramount has flagged as a huge priority and the source of their next big franchise. They are putting some serious attention into this, which is a good thing considering that a leaked internal memo contained the note "draft not looking good" next to the TMNT reboot. HeatVision is reporting that Art Marcum and Matt Holloway have been hired to fix things. My first suggestion:
Because nothing will sell tickets quite like hot skinny blonde chicks making the ducky face...and Donatello sucks. Seriously, you know that conversation went "There's only three of us, how can we go as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Oh, wait, Donatello sucks balls and only has a stick. Nevermind." That or somewhere at that party there is a sad girl with a stick eating a lot of guacamole dip. Now, the good news about Marcum and Holloway is that they wrote the original Iron Man. The bad news is that movie was by all accounts largely improvised, with the scripted stuff being the worst part...and they did Punisher War Zone...and are slated to do Highlander and Buck Rogers reboots. Peter Laird, who invented the turtles during what was obviously an experimental phase of his life, has said the idea is to weave CGI and live-action this time out. Basically, they are talking about something akin to Where the Wild Things Are, which doesn't get enough credit for the beautiful blend of CGI faces and costumed bodies. The other interesting thing is that they've discussed a Batman Begins style reboot, with the origins retold a bit grittier. Honestly, they walk this weird tightrope here. I personally think they're better off skewing towards younger audiences, as that's (A) where the money is and (B) where the material suggests going. I want bad-ass ninja action, to be sure, but why not keep it a bit lighter. I don't see "gritty" and "real" combining well with ooze-enhanced turtles that wear belts and eat pizza.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Good said...

The should just go for the kids. Make grittyTMNT to try and capture the market of people who piled this when they were kids is just going to make a midling price of crap.

August 20, 2010  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's the deal make it for kids this time around and then the kids of the kids who loved this franchise before will learn to love it. Then reboot it again in 20 years and then we will never question why the turtles are still popular and teen aged. More turtles all the time!!!

August 22, 2010  

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