Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Neeson sunk your Battleship

Looks like Liam Neeson can finally check "working with Rhianna" off of his bucket list, as the enormous thespian has wrapped his octopus-sized hands around an oversized writing implement long enough to sign his name on a contract for Battleship, a film in which he will look and feel stupid...and huge.
(Note, the object shown in his hands is a full-sized beach ball).

I'm going to be honest with you, I cannot see how director Peter Berg is going to make Battleship work, and this is from someone who is as devoted to "Friday Night Lights" as all of the other annoying people who tell you how great "Friday Night Lights" is. It's a movie set in the water about aliens invading (those things going together already makes no sense to me); it's based on a board game; and it's stars are all musicians, models, or Frankenstein monsters. Could it be the most entertaining sci-fi based film ever to take place on water? That bar is set so low they'll achieve it simply by finishing, but it should be noted that many, many water-based movies fail to get that far. Could it somehow be a guilty pleasure? An awesomely over-the-top extravaganza? Sure. Could it be unwatchably terrible, even with the talented colossus that is Neeson anchoring the picture with his oversized boot? You bet.

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