Tuesday, August 18, 2009

About those Brad Pitt rumors you'll inevitably hear

No, I'm not talking about the ones where he is supposedly (I say supposedly, but I mean definitely) smoking the ganja with Quentin Tarantino or the ones where he is on the outs with Angelina Jolie (my guess...they fight on the phone and then see each other in person and reconcile through fornication negotiation). I'm talking about the ones from The Daily Mirror that claim Pitt is going to cameo as Moriarty in the new Sherlock Holmes. On the one hand, you have plausibility. The movie IS doing reshoots, Guy Ritchie DID direct Pitt in one of his best performances (the criminally underviewed criminal movie Snatch), and it IS ridiculous to assume that you don't at least mention Moriarty in a Sherlock Holmes movie (if it is only to set up a sequel). Then, on the other hand, you have the following from the studio: "The report in today’s London Mirror is completely inaccurate. Brad Pitt is not joining the cast of Sherlock Holmes." But, isn't that just what someone who wanted to keep a cameo a surprise WOULD SAY!!! AHA! I've donned my "Birther conspiracy" hat, which grants me the power to spin every piece of evidence that suggests my position is wrong! I'm going to go out on a limb here and say...that I actually believe this IS happening. If it isn't, SOMEONE is going to end up cameo-ing or briefly appearing as Moriarty (or else the writers are effing stupid). Pitt hasn't played an out-and-out bad guy in awhile (don't say he was in Jesse James, because we all know that movie made you feel bad for the relentless murdering thief), so it would be nice. Plus, the thought of a Pitt versus Downey Jr sequel puts a tingle even in the most heterosexual loins (you can't imagine what it does to the non-heterosexual loins). I know that I will one day look foolish for backing a report with a flat denial, but it's not like I'm going to war on false information, I'm just posting a stupid blog that has a Venn Diagram on it with the label "hairy nipples." I don't have far to fall.

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