Thursday, August 20, 2009

Avatar Trailer HERE!

Avatar, a film so ahead of its time that men from the future actually came back and produced it, a film so revolutionary it has toppled presidencies through just its poster, a film so advanced that it runs on dilithium crystals and nuclear fission, can't use the Internet right. Monday, the site giving away tickets to the IMAX screening of 15 minutes of footage tomorrow took a bigger crap than Uncle Lenny after Thanksgiving yams. Today, after numerous countdowns across the net, the Apple site that featured the trailer promptly debuted...and displayed nothing. Somehow, Fox and Apple have so screwed the pooch, that Lassie is now pregnant with a litter of half-wits. Thank God for the French! Yeah, you read that right. Below is the trailer, with the one spoken word of dialogue in French (I don't speak it, so I believe he says "Cheese") and the two lines of text ("This December" and "From the director of Titanic") also in a foreign language...but I'm guessing you won't care. Watch it now and let's talk after.

Okay, so as near as I can figure, Jim Cameron has made a sequel to the shitty Final Fantasy movie...that, or CGI sequel to Titan AE...or a big budget version of the "Star Wars: Clone Wars" TV show. Now, I get that this is supposed to be seen on the big screen, and that in 3D it will likely look better but...really? This is it? This is the best foot forward for a film that costs approximately $8.7 billion to make? Blue people who look like a cross between the Orcs from Lord of the Rings and inbred regular humans? This is the promo for the video game, right? I mean, the shot of what I believe to be Sean Bean with his face all carved up is cool, but other than that, I think it looks like The Matrix meets a "Halo" cut scene. I loved The Abyss (I just defended it the other day). I loved Aliens (how could you not). I loved Terminator 2 (even the "Hasta la vista, baby"). This looks...god, can it be...bad. It looks like generic sci-fi rendered with basic computers. If you showed me this as a new X-Box game, I'd maybe want to play it. As a, my interest just dropped huge. Everybody weigh in here, I know our comments are hard to get to but they're there at the bottom of this page, just click on the tiny word that says "comments." I have to know if I'm alone here. In the words of the French: "Le Dammit."

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Blogger Mark said...

Like all of James Cameron other films, I think all of the cool stuff worth watching is already in this trailer.

August 20, 2009  
Anonymous Matt Freeman said...

As a kind of self-proclaimed "design" guy, using the Papyrus font (the only appropriate useage of Papyrus, by the way, is if you are doing the titles for a Jesus movie on TBN...because "JESUS" spelled out in Papyrus is AWESOME) alone makes me skeptical.
Revolutionary? It's run-of-the-mill CG crap that's all been done before. But maybe it's like you said in your post: it's supposed to be viewed as a 3d. And who knows, that very well may kick ass....

August 21, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


So I wasn't technically supposed to realease this information to the public yet, let alone some blogger that lives in what I am lead to believe is a Wifi indian reservation in Nebraska, but here it goes. Being that I am actually a close assistant to Mr. Cameron personally, I will let you know that while the trailer seems like mere 3D CG crap and appears to be the Halo Matrix Love child all of you disappointed Cameron fans are missing the revolutionary aspect of the film. You see, this trailer is a window into a world where blue human kangaroos(Bluhumaroos) are existences final hope. The super secrety secret aspect to this masterpiece is that when you put on those 3D glasses you literally get sucked into the screen. SO IF YOU DON"T LIKE IT GO SEE SHYAMALAN!

August 24, 2009  

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